To still be breastfeeding?

[FirstBaby886]

I have a 6.5 month old baby. Everyone (my parents, partner etc) were very supportive of me breastfeeding in the beginning. Now it's completely turned and I keep being told it's my fault if my life is hard. I just can't see how introducing formula would help?! Yes, grandma could look after him once a year (they live abroad!!!) and DH could give a bottle at the weekend, but I'm making the other 99% of bottles? I'm being told I should go on shopping days, nights out etc and I just don't want to.

I found breastfeeding incredibly hard in the beginning. But around 5 months it got so much easier and I feel like I've done the hard part, I may as well continue.

Baby has CMPA so choosing the right formula would be a pain in the arse anyway.

My parents are visiting and I've just been sat down for a lecture about how I'm too tied to this child and I should go out with my husband. I explained baby will be hungry in an hour and my mother's answer: let him go hungry a bit, he'll be fine.

I don't know if I'm a martyr or what?.

Of course then my husband could give a bottle every once in a while and would have an excuse to do fuck all around the house, that's my suspicion anyway.

My mum had severe PND with me and she's projecting a bit, I think. She keeps talking about what an ordeal having a baby is and how i should be taking care of myself.

Anyway, for those of you who started formula feeding, did everything really get so much better?

My LO lost interest in breastfeeding at around 10 months old, if she hadn’t I’d still be breastfeeding her rather than the bottle, so much easier and way less hassle! You do what you want to do, and ignore everyone else’s opinions!!

İt seems like you want to continue breastfeeding and other people, because of their own issues, want you to stop. Millions of women around the world breastfeed their babies beyond 12 months. I find it strange in the UK that many people think after six months it should stop. My mother was the same as yours - couldn't believe I was still breastfeeding after a year. I didn't want to stop when she thought I should and I wasn't harming my child - just like you aren't - so I ignored her. You can too ❤️

As someone who breastfed for 4 years and then had a baby who needed formula, please if you’re happy to, continue breastfeeding. Bottle feeding is so much more work and I always think about how life would’ve been much easier if I was able to have breastfed my youngest.

Even days at the park/beach became stressful as I couldn’t just latch baby on. It was endless sterilising, formula making and forgetting how many damn scoops 🤣 and ensuring enough clean bottles for being out and about etc.

My MIL told me to stop breastfeeding at 6 weeks. I ignored her and carried on until my DC was 20 months. Everyone has an opinion but you’re the Mum, you get to decide.

Hi, I'm still breastfeeding at 7.5m and fully intend to continue until 2yrs if DD will let me.
It's hard, it's damnnnnnn hard - Man EFB is a hard, hard road to travel. It's hard for everyone, DH suffers too, mostly by feeling sad for how tired i am and not being able to help / feeling guilty, but also by adjusting his own sleep patterns to pick up the slack on my sleep over the previous months - talk to your DH and get him on board with EFB being a family matter, it's not all on you!

In the last month DD has both reduced her number nursing sessions (with the intro of solids) and reduced the time she spends nursing (she can drain a boob in few minutes -sometimes) Also, now we're on solids, i can hand her a rusk cracker or a baby yogurt if we're out and about and that will see her through until we're in a more appropriate place to nurse. Life has gotten much, much easier in the last 3/4 weeks.

Hang on in there. It's only going to easier from here.

As for your mum, tell her you appreciate her looking out for your well-being, but her constant comments are actually having the opposite effect. Quote some WHO recommendations to her about continued breasfeeding after 6m if it'll help.

For me personally, I need a good complain just as a sort of reset action. All I really need is an ear and a hug, I'm not going to stop EFB, just need to offload a little. If its similar for you, tell your mum that too.

Good luck. 🌹

EBF. Jeezuz, more tired than i thought 😂

I breastfed my CMPA baby for SO long because he had very few safe foods and it was the easiest way to make sure he was getting enough nutrition. None of anybody’s business except yours.

In my experience the best response is to smile and nod, thank them for sharing their thoughts, say you'll bear it in mind, but let them know that for now you're happy sticking to the NHS and WHO guidance and have no immediate plans to stop. And repeat as needed.

IMHO you'd be mad to stop now. It's working for you and baby, and that's what matters. Also, as you say, given baby has allergies formula could be a nightmare. I personally fed my allergy child right up to preschool age because at least that way I didn't have to faff around with dairy substitutes, ensuring they had enough calcium etc.

I did have a particularly amusing exchange with my horrified MIL (who doesn't seem to believe in allergies) where she asked how on earth her grandchild was getting enough dairy without cows' milk. She was blown away by the fact there is calcium in breast milk. 🙄

You are definitely not BU to continue breastfeeding. I'm currently BF my 18 month old, fed my first until she stopped at 21 months. Both have CMPA and agree it is easier than formula. I did get my first used to formula at 9 months as went back to work and couldn't express enough for bottles at nursery but it was a faff. Didn't bother with my 2nd as took a year off so he went to nursery with a bottle of Koko Super instead which was far easier to get him used to.

Wanting a feed every hour does seem like a lot though. I needed a bit of me time every now and then so would have been happy to leave mine to nip out by myself or with my husband occasionally but appreciate everyone is different.

Of course YANBU for still breastfeeding at 6.5 months. And if you're fully content with how things are then tell everyone who is critical that you're not going to discuss it.

But are all these people around you actually being unsupportive of you breastfeeding at all or are they expressing concern about other issues and/or trying to help ease strain you're communicating or showing? Your post doesn't mention the possibility of expressing/pumping at all, for example; at 6.5 months most babies will take expressed milk from a bottle (though it may take some trial and error) and that can allow the other parent or grandparents to do one feed per day. Formula can also be an occasional thing, so suggesting offering a bottle sometimes is not the same thing as not supporting breastfeeding. Feeding every hour is also a high frequency after 6 months, so it's a little surprising if you don't feel you can even go to dinner with your DH or similar at this stage, and time together can be important for relationships that are under strain from the transition to parenthood. Your mum is still your mum so yes she may be projecting but she also may see some things you don't and it's normal for her to be looking for ways to help you make your life less difficult. It's ok to tell your mum that you appreciate her concern but she's trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist for you, but do make sure you think over whether there might be some value in what she's saying too.

Of course then my husband could give a bottle every once in a while and would have an excuse to do fuck all around the house, that's my suspicion anyway.

This statement is a little concerning and does not suggest a happy, healthy relationship.

I thought you were gonna say he was like 5 or something

Of course YANBU

I never understand people’s obsession with leaving the baby, it’s natural to want them with you! And there are so many other ways people can help other than by feeding the baby?! Do what’s best for you! I only stopped breastfeeding at 11 months and giving bottles wasn’t easier.

You're doing great to have come this far OP. It only gets easier from this point on. I breastfed my son until 14 months. He had CMPA and reflux which was just so much easier to manage with breast milk. From my experience, the people who questioned why I was still nursing were doing it for selfish reasons because they wanted to feed the baby but that's no reason to switch to formula and it's silly to suggest you can be too tied to such a young baby. My son wouldn't take a bottle by six months anyway. Just continue for as long as it feels right for you.

We do mixed feeling! because we have to and formula is such a pain. The amount of cleaning and sterilising on top of actually having to make it up.

If you're happy breastfeeding then continue and don't listen to your family!

So that's 5 years 4 months?

Oh, you mean yours were 4 years and 16 months.

Don’t feel pressured by others to stop doing what is the most natural thing in the world. If you don’t want to stop then you shouldn’t have to.
I breastfed my first until he was almost 2, it actually made my life easier, especially when he wasn’t well or we were out, etc.
later in the journey I got pregnant so that’s when I found it hard and we stopped eventually.

it should be entirely your choice. Your body and you baby so your family should really keep their noses out.

formula feeding has its pros - anyone can help and give a bottle, more scheduled feeds, usually better sleepers.
personally I find washing and sterilising bottles and making formula up quite stressful - but that’s just me. So many of my friends do it so successfully and I feel envious at times 🤣 neither of my babies would take or stick to the bottle.

Do what you want not what other people tell you. Soon enough your baby can go off milk and not even have any need for formula. You are not a martyr.
Edited to remove cows milk. I didn't know what CMPA was until I googled.

People who haven't done it do moan on, remember you don't need to talk about it so just shut down conversations and they do stop. We went to age 4, but the last 1.5-2 years or so was only the last feed before sleep and when he was poorly so people didn't even know if we didn't mention it. Your baby will have just started solids, as that continues the dependence on milk reduces gradually so you really aren't as urgently in demand as much for breastfeeding and can go out leaving the baby anyway. 6-12mo my DH would give a snack whenever I was out, plus pumped milk or boiled/cooled water. Making it exciting snack selections helped, because he could then spend up to an hour eating merrily and playing with all the food. Getting grandparents to help make and give a snack may help them feel involved so they drop being silly about milk.

We did supplement cows milk from 1yo, but DS thought it was such different things that he even had a different "word" for the two types of milk, and would clarify which he wanted at different times (he felt cows milk was great with breakfast, but no good for sleep). There are lactofree options like Arla that may work if you're interested in that once you get past 12 months.

I breastfed dc until they were 18 months, your parents are emotionally abusive and lacking in compassion.

I breastfed my baby until he stopped himself at 18 months. It was a beautiful bond and I enjoyed not having to make bottles and being able to comfort him when he needed it. I would never have considered stopping him at 6 months or even a year. I started getting the comments after his first birthday but I didn't care what people thought.

This. Your baby is still tiny, of course you should continue to breastfeed if it's going well.

Tell them all to fuck off and carry on as you are OP

Are these people going to be coming over and doing the night feeds..?

No. Neither is your husband from the sounds of it.

It's none of their damn business.

I had this 15 years ago, the only positive comments I had were when visiting family abroad and they thought it was wonderful that I was still BF at 12months on and kept bringing me food and cake to keep my energy up 🍰

I completely agree you should keep on with the breastfeeding, but it seems to me that there must be more to all this.

Are your family concerned that you are overtired or depressed, and think it would do you good to have a break sometime? Do you have a routine for the baby or are you still feeding him every hour and are totally unable to do anything else? Are you complaining a lot about boredom/tiredness but unwilling to share the load? Are you helping your DH to bond with the baby by involving him in the day-to-day care as much as possible?

If everything is fine, just ignore them.

I couldn't breastfeed but I would have if I could. It's the best for the baby and it seems so much easier to just give your breast a 3 in the morning then starting to heat water to just the right temperature, mix formula all while having a hungry baby crying in your arms. Most people I know breastfeed until they go back to work; 6 months/ 1 year/ 2 years. WHO recommend 2 years!! In most Scandinavian countries one year is standard supplemented with purees.

If you feel good breastfeeding and your baby is in good health then go for it!!! Don't listen to family/friends when it comes to your child. Listen to you and ofcourse follow official guidelines. This will be good training for you because family will have opinions on EVERYTHING you do with your child.

• Oh, you're putting him in nursery so young.
• Oh, you're going to be a sahm, will baby socialise enough?

And on and on...opinions on are you giving enough/ too much attention? Are you putting on too much clothes/not enough on baby outside? Should he be able to walk at 12 months because his uncle did or is it normal that he doesn't walk before 18 months (yes is the answer:). And choice of school, education (too laxist/ too authorirative), until university and then jobs.

Stop it now! Trust yourself with your child. Ask for advice when you need it and nip unsollited advice in the bud right now and forever. Good luck!🩷