To still be breastfeeding?

[FirstBaby886]

I have a 6.5 month old baby. Everyone (my parents, partner etc) were very supportive of me breastfeeding in the beginning. Now it's completely turned and I keep being told it's my fault if my life is hard. I just can't see how introducing formula would help?! Yes, grandma could look after him once a year (they live abroad!!!) and DH could give a bottle at the weekend, but I'm making the other 99% of bottles? I'm being told I should go on shopping days, nights out etc and I just don't want to.

I found breastfeeding incredibly hard in the beginning. But around 5 months it got so much easier and I feel like I've done the hard part, I may as well continue.

Baby has CMPA so choosing the right formula would be a pain in the arse anyway.

My parents are visiting and I've just been sat down for a lecture about how I'm too tied to this child and I should go out with my husband. I explained baby will be hungry in an hour and my mother's answer: let him go hungry a bit, he'll be fine.

I don't know if I'm a martyr or what?.

Of course then my husband could give a bottle every once in a while and would have an excuse to do fuck all around the house, that's my suspicion anyway.

My mum had severe PND with me and she's projecting a bit, I think. She keeps talking about what an ordeal having a baby is and how i should be taking care of myself.

Anyway, for those of you who started formula feeding, did everything really get so much better?

Thanks everyone, I have no problem sticking up for myself and I will continue breastfeeding. But the whole thing made me feel really shit.

It's hard if the baby had a bad night and I can’t even have a moan about being woken up lots or the baby biting me (which has stopped now thankfully but I'm sure will return) etc.

May I suggest an Internet search for a local breast feeding support group.? La Leche League used to be good (but has some views I am not comfortable with now) but there will be others - perhaps NCT groups.

You might make some friends and be a help to younger mums who’ve just had their babies, especially since you found breastfeeding tricky at first.

Also you could talk to your health visitor and quote her. For your babies health you’re doing the best thing. xx

Just ignore them, they probably jealous of the tight bond breastfeeding is creating with your baby. I ended up breastfeeding until both mine were 3 and even tandem fed them. You can imagine the comments I had to endure 😓. Breastfeeding is so much easier than any other alternative. It’s just there ready at the right temperature, no waiting around for the milk. Not to mention how breastfeeding in the night just sends them straight back to sleep

@GravyBoatWars

It's not that the baby feeds every hour, it's just in that moment he would need a feed an hour later so I couldn't suddenly nip out. Parents are visiting but we're all staying at another relative's house and I don't have expressed milk with me so I couldn't be spontaneous.

Keep going and ignore them. You are almost past the really hard part imo. Your independence will start returning gradually. In a month or two, your baby will be weaning and drinking water and you'll be able to leave them for increasingly longer periods of time.

Ignore everyone's elses wrong opinion. My 2 year old is still breastfed. The WHO recommends 2 years minimum. Health benefits are indisputable. Yes its tiring being the only one but it doesn't last forever.

Absolutely not being unreasonable. I'm sorry your family are so unsupportive :( but so glad you don't have a problem sticking up for yourself! So many people give up breastfeeding because of this type of thing and it's just very very sad. Really great that your baby will take a bottle sometimes so you've got a bit of freedom to be away when wanted/required (mine always refused a bottle so that was an added difficulty).

For what it's worth, this stranger on Mumsnet is still feeding my 3 year old dd (only in the middle of the night now) and my 21 month old ds (for nap, bed and through the night) and I don't think I'm unreasonable, so I definitely don't think you are 😊

Tell them all to keep their mouths shut and it’s completely normal to be breastfeeding on demand at 6 months and well beyond!

I breastfed until my son was 6 months old then I went back to work and my husband looked after them and gave him a bottle
Everyone is different but for me bottles were so much more faff and stresful

You've just got to the easy bit! Don't switch to formula. You'll have worked bloody hard to get through those first few horrible months. Its such a great parenting tool! it's not just food, it's comfort when they're poorly, comfort when they hurt themselves, gets them to sleep. It makes everything so much easier.

Your family sound like they have no experience of this, so their opinion is irrelevant. I'm sorry they're not more supportive.

For the disturbed nights, have you tried cosleeping and letting DC latch as they want to and you doze? There's plenty of good advice about safe cosleeping online, have a read of Kellymom for example. At some point down the line you can night wean if you want to, while continuing day time feeds. I think it was around 12 months that I decided to turn off the taps after 10pm

It won't be long, as they start to eat more, that you'll not need to pump every few hours in their absence to feel comfortable. But if you don't want to go out without your baby, that's fine and also very normal. You're biologically programmed to want to be with them evolutionary speaking so they don't get eaten by a lion.

You're doing amazingly. I'm currently breastfeeding my 3rd, who's five months, and plan to continue until he's 2, like his two older brothers. Never really bothered with bottles for any of them before six months, as agree with you it's actually more faff, and I hate pumping so do the bare minimum to have an emergency supply and just resign myself to being attached to the baby. But what I would say is from six months the older two did sometimes have formula in a cup or bottle to let me get a few hours off, as I reckoned it wasn't that different to any other weaning food. We never did it regularly as didn't want my supply to drop but it gave me the chance to have a bit more time to myself occasionally. But your parents are being ridiculous - of course you don't need to leave your baby if you don't want to!

Use a pump? Then it’s still your milk but others can take some of the feeding on too.

What a disappointing attitude. Keep feeding if you want to. You’re a grown woman and don’t need to be lectured any more TSK!

You would be crazy to switch to some sort of dairy-free formula when you have a CMPA baby that you are successfully breastfeeding

People are so ignorant.

I tried pumping when I went back to work but could barely get any out. It’s not like turning on a tap! Doing it just so that someone else can give one feed occasionally is daft. You still have to buy all the equipment and do all the sterilising.

Ignore your critics - it can be hard- you are doing an amazing job.

I formula fed my first and breastfeed my second (until they were 2). There are pros and cons for both, but overall I found breastfeeding a million times easier and if I ever had any more I would 100% breastfeed if able to.
Yeah you can't leave them as easily, but it's a relatively short time period - i went back to work when dc2 was 10 months old and they were left from 8am to 6pm and managed fine. They didn't have bottles during the day, just fed when I got home. I couldn't leave him overnight until about 18 months because until then he woke about 2am for a feed - but my first on formula didn't sleep through until the same age so it made no difference from a sleep pov.

From your title I thought you were going to be talking about like a 6yo!
At 6.5 months absolutely continue bf if it’s right for you and your baby. I bf mine to 21 months and that felt a perfect time for both of us to continue to and stop at. I did gradually decrease the breastfeeds to just a morning and night as he got closer to 1, so that I wasn’t tied to needing to be there all day every day.
It’s definitely useful if baby will take a bottle as well as breastfeeding, but overall I’d say that switching to formula exclusively would be far more hassle than what you’re doing (as long as it’s right for you!).

Oh also from a PND pov, I had awful PND with my formula fed child and none at all with my BF child.

@Roaringlions random question, but have both their immune systems been the same? I breastfed my first and plan to breastfeed my second but was just wondering if what they say about breastfed babies immune systems being stronger than formula fed babies true.

I stopped at 10 months; everyone said it was my fault my boy was so clingy. I regret it. I still make / give about 70 % of bottles (only really miss the 1 bottle when he’s in childcare 4 days a week and the odd one if a weekend.

you could start offering it for times you are out/leaving him but don’t stop until you are both ready x

I breastfed until nearly 3 (at the end it was only a bedtime/morning feed). My little one would take a bottle of I went out (and when they went to a childminder at 1 they had to take a bottle there) - have you tried this? You might find that if you are out of the house that they are fine.