To still be breastfeeding?

[FirstBaby886]

I have a 6.5 month old baby. Everyone (my parents, partner etc) were very supportive of me breastfeeding in the beginning. Now it's completely turned and I keep being told it's my fault if my life is hard. I just can't see how introducing formula would help?! Yes, grandma could look after him once a year (they live abroad!!!) and DH could give a bottle at the weekend, but I'm making the other 99% of bottles? I'm being told I should go on shopping days, nights out etc and I just don't want to.

I found breastfeeding incredibly hard in the beginning. But around 5 months it got so much easier and I feel like I've done the hard part, I may as well continue.

Baby has CMPA so choosing the right formula would be a pain in the arse anyway.

My parents are visiting and I've just been sat down for a lecture about how I'm too tied to this child and I should go out with my husband. I explained baby will be hungry in an hour and my mother's answer: let him go hungry a bit, he'll be fine.

I don't know if I'm a martyr or what?.

Of course then my husband could give a bottle every once in a while and would have an excuse to do fuck all around the house, that's my suspicion anyway.

My mum had severe PND with me and she's projecting a bit, I think. She keeps talking about what an ordeal having a baby is and how i should be taking care of myself.

Anyway, for those of you who started formula feeding, did everything really get so much better?

At 6.5 months old, baby will be getting the hang of eating some solids soon so you can keep on breastfeeding for as long as you want and when you want to go out for some hours, the person watching her or your dh can give solids and you bf when you’re back. Either way, yanbu, 6.5 months is still a baby

Formula/breast milk is still the baby's main source of nutrition to 12 mos. If you want to pump breast milk to be bottle fed or give formula or be available to breast feed it is YOUR CHOICE AND YOUR CHOICE ALONE.
I am still breast feeding my almost 15-month old. Prior to 12 months I made formula to be given when I had to be away from my baby for errands/appts. I didn't have luck pumping, so had to do formula for those times. After 12 months baby has been given water and snacks when I'm away (won't take regular milk). How you feed your baby is personal and solely your decision. Anyone who tells you otherwise is overstepping.

Your family sounds lovely. 🩷

Some definitions and explanation for those who don't know.
CMPA= cow's milk protein allergy
This means that @FirstBaby886 's baby can't have cows milk in any form which means they can't have formula (which is a by-product of the dairy industry) unless it's the prescription-only dairy-free allergy formula which from all accounts tastes disgusting. So this is more complex than the situation most people face when they decide to start mixed feeding and can pop to the supermarket for formula. My son refused all dairy substitutes, even when he was over one and could have the Alpro Soya Growing Up he refused it so we kept BFing until he grew out of the allergy.

I noticed someone mentioned lactose free, my aunt made this mistake as well. The baby also can't have 'lactose free' products, they still contain cow's milk protein, they have just had the milk sugar lactose removed.

@FirstBaby886 if anyone says they want to do more to bond with the baby suggest they change the baby's nappy. Oh,and a minor thing, if you are BFing on any kind of a schedule, feel free to mess with it to suit yourself, so e.g. if you are going out then give a quick top up to keep the baby going for longer while you were away from them or just to avoid having to BF when you are out. What I loved most about BFing was that it was like a baby reset button. Hungry? BF. Thirsty? BF. Tired? BF. Cold? BF. Hot? BF. Constipated? BF. Teething? BF. Once BFing is established it is the easiest and most convenient way to feed and comfort your child.

Another vote for 6.5 months is tiny. If you are happy then crack on! Those bloody follow on milk adverts have been brilliant at giving many the wrong impression it's normal to stop at 6 months which is nonsense. And you will have much more freedom soon, my 2nd is currently 10months and I have left for 6 hours as he has food and water (doesn't take a bottle) and he's fine- just makes up with it when I return. My first was similar, baby and boobies adjust!

No way is it better for you to stop now. Don't listen to anyone telling you otherwise. I formula fed my first after 6 months and breastfed my second up to around 2. Bottles are much more work! Yes DH could do the odd night feed but having to get up and make a bottle is so much hassle compared with whipping out a boob. Quicker, better for the baby, more hygenic.
And it's the only time in your life you can burn calories without exercising!
You're right, you've done the hard part and now's the time to reap the rewards.

Absolutely no need to stop breastfeeding, ridiculous of people to try and suggest you should when your baby is only 6 months old.

Breastmilk is the optimal way to feed a baby - there’s so many health benefits for mother and baby, and it’s now recommended that babies are breastfed for 24 months and beyond. It’s also great practically and personally I feel really connected to my baby and get a lovely hormonal rush with every feed.

I’m happily still breastfeeding my 16 month old, and am the only one in my mums group still breastfeeding and was one of the few who breastfed at all. I refuse to be ashamed of that, breastfeeding is a beautiful thing and mothers should be supported with it.

As is seemingly necessary in any breastfeeding conversation I will add that of course formula is a good second option when a mother cannot or doesn’t want to breastfeed. My own mother had breast cancer and I was never breastfed and that’s perfectly ok too!

And what’s wrong with breast feeding a toddler?

I breast fed mine until she was 3.5 years old and she stopped other own access. By then it was just 2 seconds at bedtime and that was it.

Honestly OP, breastfeeding is so much easier than bottles. Don’t stop it! It’s really the best thing for both of you.

Breastfeeding is loads easier than bottles when established. You could still introduce the odd bottle of formula if you wanted to.

It would be nice to be able to give the baby to others to look after for you to have sleep/fun etc but surely you can express? I do think you should give others a chance to help support you though as it's such hard work and you deserve a break sometimes

Ignore unsolicited opinions and advice from anyone other than your partner and seek to shut it down.

I could have written this post word for word as a breastfeeding mum of a 15m Cmpa baby myself! I’m back at work, have evenings out and I did try to dabble in formula but that made things way more complicated!

Unless YOU want to introduce formula because you feel you need more breaks then just tell people that you are fine and haven’t asked for their advice.

I breastfed my 8 year old until she was nearly 3 and currently breastfeeding my 8 month old, I don't care what anyone thinks and have no desire to leave my baby with anyone "for a break", ignore them people seem to think you should stop at 6 months because of follow on milk that's advertised, people wrongly assume breastfeeding isn't beneficial after 6 months

Ignore them!
You've done the hard part and it's going to get easier from here. As your baby starts having more solids it may not be long before they can go longer between feeds. Then you can enjoy a bit more freedom, if you want to.

The Breastfeeding Network has lots of of info about benefits of breastfeeding, return to work and various other aspects including a helpline. The information and helpers are all there to give support for you to feed the way that works best for you as an individual in your personal setting, and ways navigate new challenges (including dealing with others opinions). Like you say, you’ve only just got through the hard part of learning to feed- now you and baby get all the benefits.

https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/

Tell them to back off and if they really cared about you they would stop lecturing you and making you feel bad about how you choose to feed your baby. I say this as someone who was totally over breastfeeding at 6 months, formula fed for another 2 months (a very expensive chore that only increased my workload) and weaned at 8 months.

At six months there’s no reason you shouldn’t BF if it’s working well for you.

I do think however that at six months a baby should be able to take a bottle of expressed milk so that you are able to go out if you want to, or in the event that you were ill for instance.

I know someone who was hospitalised when her baby was similar age and the baby refused all other sources of nourishment. It was. Horrible time for everyone concerned and the baby suffered because of it. And she was ill enough that the baby couldn’t be brought in to BF.

So while I absolutely think that it’s nobody’s business but yours if you BF, I do think that being able to take a bottle is a must. No formula needs to be involved though.

I'm another one who thought that you were going to say that your child was over 2 years old. Of course you aren't being unreasonable to still be breastfeeding. The WHO recommends breast feeding until the child is 2. Most women in the UK stop before then, but it should be your decision when you stop.

It's really unreasonable of other people to be putting pressure on you like this. If you were still struggling with breastfeeding and confided in these people, I could understand their reasons for recommending that you stop, but as it is going well, now, they should just shut up about it.

I think that your mum is projecting her post-partum experience onto you, and instead of being pleased that you are successfully breastfeeding, she sees this as an implied criticism of how she cared for you as a baby.

Your parents are being really unfair and over-stepping massively. Tell them that breast feeding is going well and you will continue for as long as you feel comfortable.

I thought you were going to say your child was 6.5 YEARS old.

I can’t tell you the amount of people who suggested formula for my first. They knew to shut up with my second.

Wtf, baby is 6 months old! And cmpa! My first was cmpa and sadly couldn't breastfeed, absolutely do not give that up until he can move to a non formula milk replacement (until you want to anyway). I had so many issues with ds and prescription milk and feeding refusal and reflux.

Also I'm still breastfeeding dd who recently turned 3 😅 She just won't give it up and still has loads. No allergies or issues there either. While I never imagined feeding this long, it works for us.

You do as you want to do. I think jn your situation, introducing formula would make your life more difficult, especially as you have no problem with breastfeeding. In a few months, the baby will be taking enough solids that you can leave her for a few hours anyway. I can leave my 8 month old for four-five hours before she needs a feed. It's not long to wait. There are many other things they could do to help you at the moment if they really wanted to, like change the baby after a feed, take her for a walk in the pram while you nap, rock the baby to sleep, give her a bath etc. But I suspect this is not really about "helping" you with the baby, it's more about them gaining control.

I tried to give a bottle with both of mine and neither would/will take them, sometimes it's not an option just as sometimes breastfeeding isn't an option for formula fed babies. Although perhaps OP could get the relatives to give a cup of expressed breast milk, that's the only way mine would/will take milk from anyone else!

I haven’t voted because I don’t know what’s what, but of course you should still be breastfeeding if you want to! Your baby is still very young. When I read the thread title, I was expecting a 3yr old or something.

You’ve done the hard part now. Don’t give up as it’s starting to get easier 😊 Also, don’t listen to people trying to guilt trip you into giving up or pretending to imply they’re only saying it for your health. I’ve breastfeed all 3 of my children and I was shocked by how many people made comments. Most of them were women BTW. I think it often comes from jealousy or their own issues.

Well done and keep going. The feeds will reduce now gradually. You’ve done a fabulous job. Don’t let people undermine you - neither IRL or in this thread.

If you are happy with how things are, then that's fine - you are the important one (and the baby of course)

I BF my first until he was 3 (when I got pregnant again and the milk dried up) - it was much easier when he was BFing than when I had to remember snacks (towards the end he only fed morning/night, then just morning), let alone bottles and hot water and added washing up.

As he got older (and you're on the cusp of it) he'd be able to go a bit longer between feeds because he had real food too, and that opened up (short) evenings out or being able to pop to the shops without him. Within months that'll be you as he starts weaning, so as long as you're happy, just go with the flow and do what's working for you and the little one. Just cut off the naysayers, tell them it's fine, it's not for long.

@Never2many the baby does take a bottle regularly. But it obviously takes work from me i.e. I need to pump and I don't always feel like it. And it means going out for more than 4-5 hours is tricky as I'd need to pump somewhere.