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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD’s nightmare flatmate.

401 replies

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:27

Hi all,
do you know if landlords or agents have a responsibility to protect tenants?
do tenants have any rights at all?

my DD is in her third year. Living with three lovely girls and one who they are all terrified of.
she has locked them all out, refusing to let them in (I wasn’t told until the next day and told DD she should have rang the police at the time). She’s rude, threatening. Makes a lot of noise in the middle of the night. She keeps calling the girls racist (there has been no racist comments towards this girl aside from this girl constantly calling them ‘stupid white girls’ or similar. She messages the girls regularly to tell them to stay out of her way or they’ll regret it. To shut up and be quiet or she’ll make them. (No loud noises, they’re all in their third year and studying hard/on placements). All the other girls now want to move out as they can’t face living with her anymore. I just can’t believe we have to pay and even though they’ve reported this girl to the estate agents and they’ve had meetings nothing has changed. They believe this girl has been kicked out of uni and hasn’t paid rent but they don’t have proof.

my DD is 20 and she manages most issues herself/with the other flatmates but currently she’s had enough and needs help.
I guess it’s not really an AIBU but can we refuse to pay last terms rent or we pay and chalk this up to a horrendous experience? No idea where dd will live if she moves out!!

thank you xx

OP posts:
Smithhy · 09/03/2025 18:30

It’s not the landlord or agents responsibility to ensure flatmates get along.

If she isn’t paying rent then you could have bigger problems. What type of tenancy did they sign? Are they all renting individual rooms or is it a collective tenancy for the whole property?

If it’s the latter (which is more common) then the landlord can come after any of the tenants (or guarantors) for the rent arrears. **

HappiestSleeping · 09/03/2025 18:30

You can't refuse to pay, but you can apply pressure to the estate agent and the landlord. Phone daily until you get a satisfactory result. Actually, it's your DD that needs to phone daily as it is likely they only deal with her.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 09/03/2025 18:32

Why is the estate agent responsible for this behavior?

Smithhy · 09/03/2025 18:32

HappiestSleeping · 09/03/2025 18:30

You can't refuse to pay, but you can apply pressure to the estate agent and the landlord. Phone daily until you get a satisfactory result. Actually, it's your DD that needs to phone daily as it is likely they only deal with her.

Apply pressure on what basis? What do you expect them to do?

Hoppinggreen · 09/03/2025 18:33

Your DD will have to keep trying with The Agents, unfortunately if this young woman has defaulted on her rent the other Tenants may be liable

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:37

Smithhy · 09/03/2025 18:30

It’s not the landlord or agents responsibility to ensure flatmates get along.

If she isn’t paying rent then you could have bigger problems. What type of tenancy did they sign? Are they all renting individual rooms or is it a collective tenancy for the whole property?

If it’s the latter (which is more common) then the landlord can come after any of the tenants (or guarantors) for the rent arrears. **

I know it’s not their responsibility to be best mates but it’s not like they just don’t get on she is terrifying and threatening. should anyone have to live like that? This girl was a last minute addition that the landlord forced on them. Someone they knew pulled out due to leaving university unexpectedly, they tried to find someone else but it was too short notice. Most people had found somewhere already. The landlords said this girl has to move in. They asked for her Snapchat/social media and offered for her to meet up and get to know each other. She was rude and aggressive from the start. They told the estate agent this and they basically said ‘tough’.

OP posts:
saraclara · 09/03/2025 18:38

This depends entirely on whether they reach have individual contracts with the landlord and are paying their own rent for their room directly to him/her, or whether it's a contract shared between the girls that they are each responsible for.

If the latter, the landlord is not responsible for the behaviour of the other girl. If the former, and she's not paying her rent the landlord will want to get her out, so any police involvement will help them.

Either way, no, your DD can't withhold her rent.

verycloakanddaggers · 09/03/2025 18:38

The two options here are a) university for unacceptable behaviour or b) the police if the behaviour become criminal (locking someone out of their home would fall into this category).

I'd advise your DD and her flatmates read up on university harassment policies and see what systems could be used - there will be a way to get help/advice if all at the same university.

Keep a detailed diary of everything.

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:38

saltinesandcoffeecups · 09/03/2025 18:32

Why is the estate agent responsible for this behavior?

I didn’t say they were. I was asking. If someone in your home is threatening you I wondered if they have a duty of care? This is student only accommodation.

OP posts:
OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 09/03/2025 18:39

Most tenancy agreements have causes regarding unacceptable behaviour. If there is such a clause then it needs to be used. She can't go around threatening and bullying other tenants and the agent/landlord absolutely can take action if she is breaching her tenancy by behaving in this manner.

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:40

verycloakanddaggers · 09/03/2025 18:38

The two options here are a) university for unacceptable behaviour or b) the police if the behaviour become criminal (locking someone out of their home would fall into this category).

I'd advise your DD and her flatmates read up on university harassment policies and see what systems could be used - there will be a way to get help/advice if all at the same university.

Keep a detailed diary of everything.

Thank you. We have loads of text messages which show how awful she is, there’s been no deleted messages from the other girls, you can see the chat flows and the others wouldn’t lie anyway, all they want is a nice easy final year!

OP posts:
Timble · 09/03/2025 18:41

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 09/03/2025 18:39

Most tenancy agreements have causes regarding unacceptable behaviour. If there is such a clause then it needs to be used. She can't go around threatening and bullying other tenants and the agent/landlord absolutely can take action if she is breaching her tenancy by behaving in this manner.

Thank you, we’ve just gone over the contract but we can’t really see anything about behaviours unfortunately! This girl did break the tumble dryer though. Tried to blame it on the others when they hadn’t even been home that week!

OP posts:
Timble · 09/03/2025 18:41

Hoppinggreen · 09/03/2025 18:33

Your DD will have to keep trying with The Agents, unfortunately if this young woman has defaulted on her rent the other Tenants may be liable

They all have guarantors (parents) if she doesn’t pay it falls to her dad we believe.

OP posts:
Feelingstrange2 · 09/03/2025 18:42

If she's no longer a student then is she liable for council tax? Or the landlord?

KittenPause · 09/03/2025 18:42

Call the university they can step in and mediate

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 09/03/2025 18:42

To give an example there's a clause in my tenancy agreement that states I must behave in a neighbourly manner and must not cause alarm, harassment or distress to any other person. This includes: racist language or behaviour; any type of abusive behaviour.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 09/03/2025 18:43

Urgh. My middle DD had something similar in her last year, she was back in halls and in accommodation with some 'party girls' who were first year. They kept her awake all night, would let random men in so DD might encounter a strange man in the kitchen first thing in the morning, and revision was rendered impossible by the noise.

DD eventually came home and commuted in for her exams. She tried and tried to appeal to the security of the accommodation she was in, but nobody was interested (the girls were overseas students, not that that is really relevant but it seemed to be the first time they'd had any freedom and they'd gone a bit overboard with the sex and alcohol).

Hoppinggreen · 09/03/2025 18:43

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:41

They all have guarantors (parents) if she doesn’t pay it falls to her dad we believe.

That is good, my DD's contract says the same but I believe that there are some Student tenancy agreements that mean the other Tenants are responsible so double check that.

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:43

saraclara · 09/03/2025 18:38

This depends entirely on whether they reach have individual contracts with the landlord and are paying their own rent for their room directly to him/her, or whether it's a contract shared between the girls that they are each responsible for.

If the latter, the landlord is not responsible for the behaviour of the other girl. If the former, and she's not paying her rent the landlord will want to get her out, so any police involvement will help them.

Either way, no, your DD can't withhold her rent.

Pretty much what I thought but it just feels so shit to be terrified in your own home and to pay for the privilege.

OP posts:
verycloakanddaggers · 09/03/2025 18:43

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:40

Thank you. We have loads of text messages which show how awful she is, there’s been no deleted messages from the other girls, you can see the chat flows and the others wouldn’t lie anyway, all they want is a nice easy final year!

Good.

Tell your DD to make an appointment with student support. Look at the uni behaviour policies. Speak to the police about anything illegal.

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:44

Feelingstrange2 · 09/03/2025 18:42

If she's no longer a student then is she liable for council tax? Or the landlord?

We don’t have proof she’s no longer a student they overheard a conversation stating that but no proof. She doesn’t ever leave the house so she’s obviously not going into uni.

OP posts:
verycloakanddaggers · 09/03/2025 18:45

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:43

Pretty much what I thought but it just feels so shit to be terrified in your own home and to pay for the privilege.

It is shit, but there are steps your DD can take but not via the landlord.

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:45

verycloakanddaggers · 09/03/2025 18:43

Good.

Tell your DD to make an appointment with student support. Look at the uni behaviour policies. Speak to the police about anything illegal.

I did ask her to speak to student services for advice and support. This estate agents deals only with student accommodation so I thought maybe they would be more helpful.

OP posts:
noctilucentcloud · 09/03/2025 18:45

KittenPause · 09/03/2025 18:42

Call the university they can step in and mediate

I agree with contacting the university accommodation office, they are likely to have dealt with a similar situation in the past and have some ideas how to proceed. However, it really needs to be your daughter and her other (non-difficult) housemates that emails / pops in / arranges an appointment rather than you.

LuvelyBunchOfBeetroot · 09/03/2025 18:46

Unless the accommodation is run by the university I don't see what they can do apart from offer advice and generic support - as above, the key is what type of contract this girl & your DD have.

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