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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend not doing an evening meal as “we had a big meal earlier”

343 replies

Bupo · 08/03/2025 21:30

So I’m staying with a friend who invited me to stay. She lives in a nice town that many tourists visit.

This evening I asked if there was any meal prep i could help with for dinner. And friend said something along the lines of “oh I assumed you wouldn’t want dinner as we had a massive meal earlier”.

She’s not wrong. We went to KFC as a few of the restaurants we tried were too busy. It’s literally been years since I last went. I had a burger and two chicken wings. The chips were raw so I only ate a couple.

It’s not the lightest meal but surely most would still expect to eat/feed a guest. She’s not weird with food and a normal not-big-not-small size.

I had about 4 tablespoons of leftover rice and curry for breakfast.

I’m about to go on a “walk” to coop

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Rhinohides · 09/03/2025 08:49

Just as an alternative perspective, for me OP this is normal behaviour. I eat breakfast and one other meal either lunch or dinner and that’s it. This is the only way I can manage my weight. (I have never tried injectables and don’t plan to).

NeedToChangeName · 09/03/2025 08:50

Maggiethecat · 09/03/2025 08:46

We keep cooked rice in fridge and reheat several times over the course of a few days. Never been an issue for us.

Show quote history

You're only supposed to reheat rice (1) once and (2) within 24 hours

NaomhPadraigin · 09/03/2025 08:56

Rhinohides · 09/03/2025 08:49

Just as an alternative perspective, for me OP this is normal behaviour. I eat breakfast and one other meal either lunch or dinner and that’s it. This is the only way I can manage my weight. (I have never tried injectables and don’t plan to).

And would you treat your guests like this too?
Surely, you realise most people eat more than twice a day.

Maggiethecat · 09/03/2025 08:59

So many posts about people going out to find food for themselves because of inadequate provision by hosts.
I would be embarrassed if guests of mine had to do this.
If eating patterns differ at least open your kitchen to your friend and invite them to help themselves to whatever they fancy. Presume that at least basics like bread, egg, milk, cheese, fruit would be around if you had a visitor.

Maggiethecat · 09/03/2025 09:06

NeedToChangeName · 09/03/2025 08:50

You're only supposed to reheat rice (1) once and (2) within 24 hours

Show quote history

We don’t reheat it more than once but do use stored rice over the course of a few days.
What should have happened to us by now?

ShowOfHands · 09/03/2025 09:07

HangingOver · 09/03/2025 08:00

The burger is more than sufficient and I couldn’t manage the wings as well

Random aside but the word "manage" used in this way makes me stabby for reasons I can't understand or explain.

Edited

Oh me too. It's because it's so affected. They're trying to signify something else entirely and I find it unbearable. I have the same problem with a lot of food descriptions. People who "nibble" or "pick at" because they're small and delicate or who "throw things in a pan" or "bung things in the oven" because they're just so terribly busy but still making proper food despite this. Or "just have a light lunch" because they're not greedy. Breezily suggest "homemade soup and a crusty roll" so we all know they would never use a can and it's not that supermarket bought bread without its all-important crust.

I accept this is all my problem and I probably need to examine why it makes me so irrationally cross. It's not even just food. "How hard is it to pull on a pair of jeans and throw on a jumper". Usually in response to people out and about in their pyjamas. It's the casual, airy, head-tilty, affected tone or the mock horror.

I think I need more tea.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 09/03/2025 09:10

Go out and buy picky food, bread olives, cheese, salad etc and then you can eat that for breakfast/ lunch Tomorrow before you go back if nothing is offered

YipYapYop · 09/03/2025 09:12

ShowOfHands · 09/03/2025 09:07

Oh me too. It's because it's so affected. They're trying to signify something else entirely and I find it unbearable. I have the same problem with a lot of food descriptions. People who "nibble" or "pick at" because they're small and delicate or who "throw things in a pan" or "bung things in the oven" because they're just so terribly busy but still making proper food despite this. Or "just have a light lunch" because they're not greedy. Breezily suggest "homemade soup and a crusty roll" so we all know they would never use a can and it's not that supermarket bought bread without its all-important crust.

I accept this is all my problem and I probably need to examine why it makes me so irrationally cross. It's not even just food. "How hard is it to pull on a pair of jeans and throw on a jumper". Usually in response to people out and about in their pyjamas. It's the casual, airy, head-tilty, affected tone or the mock horror.

I think I need more tea.

Show quote history

I feel seen 😆

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/03/2025 09:17

Very weird, and terrible hosting. If she couldn’t be bothered to cook, you’d think she’d at least have offered egg on toast or something equally simple.

dapsnotplimsolls · 09/03/2025 09:19

We need a breakfast update 😁

Bunnycat101 · 09/03/2025 09:21

I don’t know if I’m the only one but I often find I’m stuff for about 30 minutes after something like a Burger King but then totally starving a couple of hours later. I’m not sure if it’s something to do with what they put in them but they definitely don’t fill me up in the same way that a roast or something might for the rest of the day.

PicturePlace · 09/03/2025 09:22

BlueBatsAndOranges · 08/03/2025 21:37

On what planet is KFC a ‘massive meal’?

Calorie-wise, it would have been almost all the calories one should eat in a day. A massive meal.

PicturePlace · 09/03/2025 09:24

That said, I would definitely want a snack in the evening.

ThinWomansBrain · 09/03/2025 09:26

even if she wasn't hungry, she should have made a suggestion of help yourself to...

whatever's in the fridge/made a suggestion of what to have, even if not made it for you.
v odd - rude even

YipYapYop · 09/03/2025 09:27

Bunnycat101 · 09/03/2025 09:21

I don’t know if I’m the only one but I often find I’m stuff for about 30 minutes after something like a Burger King but then totally starving a couple of hours later. I’m not sure if it’s something to do with what they put in them but they definitely don’t fill me up in the same way that a roast or something might for the rest of the day.

I've not been to KFC much to know if it's the same, but DEFINITELY find this with MacDonald's. I can eat loads but shortly afterwards I'm hungry!

Nothatgingerpirate · 09/03/2025 09:27

Screw 🪛 hosting, honestly.
Waste of precious time.

Darkrestlessness · 09/03/2025 09:31

If we go out for lunch it's unlikely dh and I will eat dinner - we just wouldn't be hungry. But if the adult dcs were around or guests we have something planned for dinner.

orangemapleleaves · 09/03/2025 09:32

ShowOfHands · 09/03/2025 09:07

Oh me too. It's because it's so affected. They're trying to signify something else entirely and I find it unbearable. I have the same problem with a lot of food descriptions. People who "nibble" or "pick at" because they're small and delicate or who "throw things in a pan" or "bung things in the oven" because they're just so terribly busy but still making proper food despite this. Or "just have a light lunch" because they're not greedy. Breezily suggest "homemade soup and a crusty roll" so we all know they would never use a can and it's not that supermarket bought bread without its all-important crust.

I accept this is all my problem and I probably need to examine why it makes me so irrationally cross. It's not even just food. "How hard is it to pull on a pair of jeans and throw on a jumper". Usually in response to people out and about in their pyjamas. It's the casual, airy, head-tilty, affected tone or the mock horror.

I think I need more tea.

Show quote history

I agree with all of this and would add to this excellent summary 'sticking' anything anywhere. "Just stick a garlic bread in the oven." It's so tedious.

SnoopysHoose · 09/03/2025 09:32

If I’d had Indian the night before and KFC for lunch I’d not serve dinner either
food from the night before sustains you for 24 hrs?
Some very odd attitudes to food on MN. The misery guts who feign horror at huge lunches and oh that's a days calories/ I couldn't manage that.

Finallydoingit24 · 09/03/2025 09:33

PicturePlace · 09/03/2025 09:22

Calorie-wise, it would have been almost all the calories one should eat in a day. A massive meal.

Show quote history

Huh? A burger from there is 450-700 calories. Or are you a person who thinks women shouldn’t eat more than 1200 calories a day?

Aalasya · 09/03/2025 09:36

Rhinohides · 09/03/2025 08:49

Just as an alternative perspective, for me OP this is normal behaviour. I eat breakfast and one other meal either lunch or dinner and that’s it. This is the only way I can manage my weight. (I have never tried injectables and don’t plan to).

It's not normal to give your guests two meals though.

Aalasya · 09/03/2025 09:36

@ShowOfHands 100 % with you.

caringcarer · 09/03/2025 09:42

The only thing I can think of is she has no money. Could that be the case? Did you buy the takeaway and the KFC?

Biglifedecisions · 09/03/2025 09:50

If you are getting irked which is understandable (I would too) she should pause the invitations. It sounds like it is costing her too much money. Hence the scrimping.

Cherrysoup · 09/03/2025 09:54

caringcarer · 09/03/2025 09:42

The only thing I can think of is she has no money. Could that be the case? Did you buy the takeaway and the KFC?

OP says host paid for the takeaway but she bought the KFC.