Friend not doing an evening meal as “we had a big meal earlier”

[Bupo]

So I’m staying with a friend who invited me to stay. She lives in a nice town that many tourists visit.

This evening I asked if there was any meal prep i could help with for dinner. And friend said something along the lines of “oh I assumed you wouldn’t want dinner as we had a massive meal earlier”.

She’s not wrong. We went to KFC as a few of the restaurants we tried were too busy. It’s literally been years since I last went. I had a burger and two chicken wings. The chips were raw so I only ate a couple.

It’s not the lightest meal but surely most would still expect to eat/feed a guest. She’s not weird with food and a normal not-big-not-small size.

I had about 4 tablespoons of leftover rice and curry for breakfast.

I’m about to go on a “walk” to coop

I would be mortified if I had a guest staying who was left hungry due to my poor hosting. When I have visitors coming, I plan and shop for proper breakfasts (eggs, bacon, cereal) and dinners, plus things like bread, cheese, cold meats in case anyone wants a sandwich. Also stock up on biscuits, snacks etc to offer with a cup of tea. It’s hospitable to offer guests food at regular intervals, as they can’t just get up and start rummaging through the host’s fridge.

I invariably end up with a lot of leftover food to use up after visitors, but would rather that than the thought of a guest being hungry in my home. Dreadful hosting on the part of your friend.

Maybe offer to cook her something as a treat before you go.OP. if she's been fine with food before on previous trips this says to me she must be struggling or watching her pennies closely with food buying etc and has tried to be gracious already by paying for 1 takeaway. So do your bit in return as a friend and help her out.

I take your point but I only really eat carbs one meal per day, insulin resistant PCOS has taught me what I should eat and what I should limit! I tend to have carbs with my evening meal and avoid where possible having anything deep fried. Burger, wings and chips in this instance are all deep fried (I would imagine?) and the whole lunch would have left me very heavy and bloated and pretty much unable to eat dinner.
Lunches I usually eat whole foods/grains/raw veg along with some kind of protein (mainly grilled meat).
I’m not anti burgers or sandwiches, quite the opposite, I love them, but I just avoid eating them at lunchtime because they play havoc on me for the afternoon if I eat them and it means I struggle eating again.

The issue here is that the host has been terrible at not ensuring her guest is fed and presuming she won’t want to eat again just because she herself doesn’t. I would never do that, no one ever leaves my house hungry unless they’ve chosen to!

Was working down the thread to say the same 🤣

@Bupo I guess it depends how you live and how you space meals and the quantities you choose to eat.

Some people believe in breakfast being the biggest meal of the day and have two meals or three "snacks" further on in the day.

When I was working, 10-30 years ago, I would have a moderate sized breakfast, a small boxed salad on workdays [enough to last 15 minutes in a half-hour break] followed by a big filling meal with my spouse and children.

These days, as a retiree, I exercise early seven days per week and only take on coffee or tea before 1:45pm. (Very occasionally, I might have a 125g-200g tub of yoghurt.) My focus meal these days is a big, often very big, lunch -- lots of protein, lots of vegetables or a big salad. Come dinner time, somewhere 7:10pm-8:50pm (or sundown), I might have a couple of poached eggs on a slice of toast or sliced meat on a few (say, 3-6) crispbreads with an interesting chutney or sliced onion and cucumber.

People vary massively.

I alter my day and my food intake maybe 25-35 times per year for family birthday lunches/dinners or reunions or special gatherings of clubs/groups I belong to.

-----

If you're hungry, politely tell your host and ask him/her if you can access something in the house or duck out to get something.

She has lost weight!

I wouldn't be cooking an evening meal if we had all had KFC for lunch either.

If we had guests I would at least put some cheese and crackers or bread and cold meats out for people to pick on.

If it is just DH and I we tend not to eat again if we've had a large meal at lunch time. On Sundays we just have a roast at around 2pm and nothing for the rest of the day.

I ended up just telling friend I was a bit peckish. So ended up make poached eggs. She had some too!

The burger is more than sufficient and I couldn’t manage the wings as well

Random aside but the word "manage" used in this way makes me stabby for reasons I can't understand or explain.

I wouldn't eat again after a big lunch but if I was hosting I would provide food for my guest

If I'm hosting guests for the weekend I always plan on thee meals a day for us all, some may be in the house and some out.

We visit friends fairly regularly and friends visit us regularly too, normally Friday to Sunday.

The general plan would be:

Friday - arrive later, after eating but enjoy a glass or two of wine together

Saturday: breakfast and lunch at home, something like cereals, fruit and yogurt, toast, etc and then maybe a sandwich or soup type thing at lunch. Lots of hot drinks throughout the morning. We would be paying for the food beforehand. Then a meal out in the evening, and drinks, where costs would be split.

Sunday: normally a large brunch type meal, full English or similar. Leave around 12ish for the long drives back.

As hosts we would pay for all food at home and it would be already ordered and delivered, with snacks etc available whenever too. Meals and drinks out would be split. As guests we'd turn up with a couple of bottled of wine. This is then reciprocated when they visit us.

It would be considered incredibly bad form to not provide something to eat for each meal, or to assume someone wouldn't want to eat dinner after a simple lunch several hours before!

Most people on Mounjaro wouldn't be able to stomach takeaway curry and KFC. It reduces appetite but also makes greasy, fried food unappetising and likely to cause nasty side effects.

Does the injection make someone become a poor host?

To me, it doesn't matter whether the host is using injections, they shouldn't expect guests to have a disordered eating pattern just to fit in with them!

It was literally one ‘skipped’ meal out of all the times the friend has hosted the OP.
OP is an adult, she could have just said she was hungry when the friend said she was want feeling like another meal.

😂 you’re not the only one. As if they’d faint if they ate it or something.

But it's also only one weekend off hosting a friend. It would still be really poor mangers to not plan for and offer staying guests three meals a day - this is the norm for the majority of people.

I'd beer dream of expecting guests to get up and prepare their own food at my house. And no one I know would expect a visiting guest to do so. I'd feel embarrassed that a guest was left without an evening meal if some from, and hadn't been offered fin for several hours!

It's just not the way things go amongst my family and friends groups!

you went on Walk to coop for food at 930pm at night?

I would and wouldn't probably eat again that day if I'd had a curry the night before. I'm trying to lose weight though.

I'd have sandwich stuff and snacks n the house if my guest wanted to eat.

Whatever I’ve eaten at 1.30 I’d need to eat again before bed or I’d wake up hungry in the night. I’d also be keen for some fruit and veg after a fast food lunch, another sandwich wouldn’t cut it!

Even if I personally didn’t want dinner, or even if I assumed my guest didn’t want dinner I would always offer to make something if someone was a guest in my house. That’s really strange behaviour from her, have you generally been known to eat very little/small portions?

I think if she lives in a tourist town she's probably fed up of cooking and hosting.

I wouldn't have asked to meal prep I'd have already bought something for dinner while I was out with the intention of cooking.

Nailed on she's on the jabs and isn't fessing up! I'd go to the caff and get myself a big bacon sandwich.

She was probably not hungry as she ate seconds of Indian takeaway in the middle of the night.

It's obviously fine if she doesn't want to eat dinner, but it's pretty poor hosting not to either offer something or have discussed something beforehand so you could sort something yourself.

Is she just too pissed to cook or something?

We keep cooked rice in fridge and reheat several times over the course of a few days. Never been an issue for us.

Of course she should offer an evening meal. She’s hosting!