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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend not doing an evening meal as “we had a big meal earlier”

343 replies

Bupo · 08/03/2025 21:30

So I’m staying with a friend who invited me to stay. She lives in a nice town that many tourists visit.

This evening I asked if there was any meal prep i could help with for dinner. And friend said something along the lines of “oh I assumed you wouldn’t want dinner as we had a massive meal earlier”.

She’s not wrong. We went to KFC as a few of the restaurants we tried were too busy. It’s literally been years since I last went. I had a burger and two chicken wings. The chips were raw so I only ate a couple.

It’s not the lightest meal but surely most would still expect to eat/feed a guest. She’s not weird with food and a normal not-big-not-small size.

I had about 4 tablespoons of leftover rice and curry for breakfast.

I’m about to go on a “walk” to coop

OP posts:
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5
BettyBardMacDonald · 09/03/2025 18:24

laraitopbanana · 09/03/2025 18:17

Hi op,

I know you are a guest and maybe it is unusual but did you offer to participate in any of the expenses due to your presence? How long was your stay? Was it clear that you shouldn’t be paying nothing at all?

She's already said that she did.

laraitopbanana · 09/03/2025 18:26

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/03/2025 18:24

She's already said that she did.

Show quote history

Odd behavior.

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/03/2025 18:40

@HorrorFan81

I don't count calories but assume it's more than that as I'm not wasting away. But certainly don't need 2000 cal/day. I don't think many do unless they are highly athletic or in a strenuous job.

Often our veg with dinner is something like haricot plus a salad with chopped peppers, crumbled hard cooked egg, bacon and shredded cheese. Or a vegetable soup.

We don't eat much carb though. I do like a Coke, fizz or beer from time to time.

Ilovecleaning · 09/03/2025 18:54

Any or all of the following:
tight arse
lazy
uncaring
selfish

  • all compounded by the suggestion that you are greedy ( wanting more food after the ‘big meal.)
LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 19:11

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/03/2025 18:40

@HorrorFan81

I don't count calories but assume it's more than that as I'm not wasting away. But certainly don't need 2000 cal/day. I don't think many do unless they are highly athletic or in a strenuous job.

Often our veg with dinner is something like haricot plus a salad with chopped peppers, crumbled hard cooked egg, bacon and shredded cheese. Or a vegetable soup.

We don't eat much carb though. I do like a Coke, fizz or beer from time to time.

Such a totally unhealthy attitude to food, I can only hope you’ve not got children to influence.

JorgyPorgy · 09/03/2025 19:17

rainbowunicorn · 09/03/2025 13:30

What's wrong with that?

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9.30pm sounds late at night to be going shopping for food to eat for dinner that night ?

NotALotToLose · 09/03/2025 19:21

CuriousRunner · 09/03/2025 07:48

Was working down the thread to say the same 🤣

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Totally agree!

LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 19:21

JorgyPorgy · 09/03/2025 19:17

9.30pm sounds late at night to be going shopping for food to eat for dinner that night ?

Edited
Show quote history

But OP must’ve been starving by then!!

JorgyPorgy · 09/03/2025 19:31

Yes I would have been starving by dinner time and gone out earlier. At that time I’d just make do with toast / cereal / yogurt whatever is available! Just a strange time to go out food shopping at 930pm and then come home and cook when it’s basically bed time for everyone in the house

LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 19:35

JorgyPorgy · 09/03/2025 19:31

Yes I would have been starving by dinner time and gone out earlier. At that time I’d just make do with toast / cereal / yogurt whatever is available! Just a strange time to go out food shopping at 930pm and then come home and cook when it’s basically bed time for everyone in the house

But that’s you, not OP!

She wasn’t good shopping, she was meal shopping, for herself.

And just maybe they stay up later than you….

LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 19:35

LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 19:35

But that’s you, not OP!

She wasn’t good shopping, she was meal shopping, for herself.

And just maybe they stay up later than you….

Show quote history

*food not good

CorduroySituation · 09/03/2025 19:49

BrendaSmall · 09/03/2025 06:04

In all honesty I wouldn’t eat anything else if I had KFC, purely because of the calories

That's fine for you, but would you treat a guest the same way?

MaltipooMama · 09/03/2025 19:53

Funnily enough my partner and I had a rare KFC for lunch on Friday, tbf we both ate more than you but we were full for the rest of the day. However if I'd had guests over I would've definitely had a meal available to offer them in case they were hungry!

Beautifulweeds · 09/03/2025 19:54

I would think a help yourself, make a toastie, sandwich would be fine. Xx

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/03/2025 20:38

It's not unhealthy to eat only what one is hungry for.

No wonder there's an obesity epidemic if eating vegetables and lean grilled meat is considered eccentric and unhealthy.

As I've said, host should always have nice food available to guests, who are capttive and may have larger appetite. The breakfast was skimpy and inhospitable.

But denying that a burger and wings at KFC is a large/main meal is very odd.

KFC burger is 400 cal and wings are 130 cal each. Thats 700-900 calories ( with a few chips) for just one meal.

angelspike · 09/03/2025 20:45

But it's only one meal even if say it's 700 cals, the OP got a few spoons of curry and rice

I could have 2 x 700 cal meals plus a breakfast of 400 cals and you're still only at 1800 calories
It's not a "large" meal in the slightest

angelspike · 09/03/2025 20:49

In fact that's just over maintenance calories before someone starts going on about obesity again for a 5ft 5, 126lb, 40yo female who does light exercise

Friend not doing an evening meal as “we had a big meal earlier”
HorrorFan81 · 09/03/2025 20:58

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/03/2025 20:38

It's not unhealthy to eat only what one is hungry for.

No wonder there's an obesity epidemic if eating vegetables and lean grilled meat is considered eccentric and unhealthy.

As I've said, host should always have nice food available to guests, who are capttive and may have larger appetite. The breakfast was skimpy and inhospitable.

But denying that a burger and wings at KFC is a large/main meal is very odd.

KFC burger is 400 cal and wings are 130 cal each. Thats 700-900 calories ( with a few chips) for just one meal.

Its not unhealthy to eat chicken and veg, I eat similar stuff for my dinner but you seem to be saying thats all you eat in a day, other than a yoghurt. I just cant comprehend how you could possibly be getting enough calories (and nutrients) on that

BlueBatsAndOranges · 09/03/2025 21:03

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/03/2025 20:38

It's not unhealthy to eat only what one is hungry for.

No wonder there's an obesity epidemic if eating vegetables and lean grilled meat is considered eccentric and unhealthy.

As I've said, host should always have nice food available to guests, who are capttive and may have larger appetite. The breakfast was skimpy and inhospitable.

But denying that a burger and wings at KFC is a large/main meal is very odd.

KFC burger is 400 cal and wings are 130 cal each. Thats 700-900 calories ( with a few chips) for just one meal.

But denying that a burger and wings at KFC is a large/main meal is very odd.

Odd for you who only eats a yoghurt and fresh air all day.

Trishyb10 · 09/03/2025 21:09

How old are you? teenager? 16? indian for breakfast? lord..Maybe she,s waiting for you to offer to buy a meal in thanks for your stay, you sound very privileged to me expecting meals, do you not want to do your bit, go grab a banana, go to the shop, offer to buy fish and chips, .. unbelievable

IdrisElbow · 09/03/2025 21:13

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/03/2025 22:59

Well, I for one am not part of the obesity epidemic bringing the NHS to its knees.

"Obesity costs the NHS a massive £6 billion annually and this is set to rise to over £9.7 billion each year by 2050."

Maintenance level calories may need review.

Laurmolonlabe · 09/03/2025 23:39

I would definitely want something, it sounds a bit chaotic for a host, but not to rock the boat I'd go out for a "walk" and have a little something whilst I was out.

CalicoPusscat · 09/03/2025 23:50

Glad that you got food today @Bupo!!

Prawn tacos sound lovely. Perhaps friend was having an 'off' day yesterday.

I haven't eaten properly today, just some macaroni cheese + salad, chocolate fudge cake and crab pate on toast so am cooking a vegetable and lentil stew now.

LovelyLeitrim · 10/03/2025 01:45

Trishyb10 · 09/03/2025 21:09

How old are you? teenager? 16? indian for breakfast? lord..Maybe she,s waiting for you to offer to buy a meal in thanks for your stay, you sound very privileged to me expecting meals, do you not want to do your bit, go grab a banana, go to the shop, offer to buy fish and chips, .. unbelievable

Lord have you not read the OP: posts, do you know how to filter them?

To help, she’s said.

Friend paid for Indian. I offered but she insisted as I was the guest. And then I paid for KFC. Friend said no she’s got it but I said “no, it’s my turn”.

You may want to edit your scathing post.