Friend not doing an evening meal as “we had a big meal earlier”

[Bupo]

So I’m staying with a friend who invited me to stay. She lives in a nice town that many tourists visit.

This evening I asked if there was any meal prep i could help with for dinner. And friend said something along the lines of “oh I assumed you wouldn’t want dinner as we had a massive meal earlier”.

She’s not wrong. We went to KFC as a few of the restaurants we tried were too busy. It’s literally been years since I last went. I had a burger and two chicken wings. The chips were raw so I only ate a couple.

It’s not the lightest meal but surely most would still expect to eat/feed a guest. She’s not weird with food and a normal not-big-not-small size.

I had about 4 tablespoons of leftover rice and curry for breakfast.

I’m about to go on a “walk” to coop

Excellent post, you really hit the nail on the head!

Homemade soup can take... Ten mins to make, 20-30 mins to cook.

Are you making your own cutlery?

My mum will serve a lavish silver service breakfast, and expect us to live on the odd ham roll the rest of the day.

It really is bizarre. I find I need to eat something at my usual meal time even if I had a big meal. Even if it's just a salad or some fruit.

If you'd had a substantial lunch then surely she'd still plan for a light supper? Soup and a roll, cheese and crackers, a bit of quiche and a side salad? She's weird.

I have a friend who invited me over for the evening. She knew I was arriving home after several weeks away and I hadn't had a chance to get any food in yet. She said 'So you don't have to worry about dinner as soon as you get home, come over for a glass of wine and I'll feed you.'

Bearing in mind I'd been travelling all day, I hadn't had a proper meal since the day before. 'Feeding me' involved a side plate of about 6 thin little rounds of baguette (no butter) a few small cubes of cheese and a half full tub of hummus with some carrot sticks. This was for two of us. Even as a light snack with drinks it was pretty inadequate and disappointing, but I'd been led to believe I was getting an evening meal.

She really just wanted someone to chat to and to drink with, but as I had to drive home I couldn't even do that. I was STARVING. I wouldn't dream of inviting people over with the promise of food and then making so little effort.

She didn’t have a substantial lunch though. She had a burger from KFC (they aren’t that big) and two fucking chicken wings.

People are so weird about food on here. Taking about one burger and the two bites that you get out of a wing like it’s a medieval banquet.

OP had a burger and a couple of wings. If a zinger or fillet burger herventire meal would have been around 600 cals. Are you seriously saying you wouldn't eat again if you had a 600 cal lunch?
A sandwich and a yogurt which is a fairly typical lunch will have around that.

Well she did order a burger and chips but didn't eat the chips. Maybe if her friend ate her entire meal she considered it substantial, even if the OP and others on here don't. My point was that even if you've eaten a three course lunch it doesn't mean you won't need anything at all in the evening. And even if you don't, you shouldn't assume that others won't. A bowl of soup or some cheese on toast or something should still be offered.

I agree. It is literally a sandwich and a couple of mouthfuls of additional chicken.

What's wrong with that?

People don't need 3 meals a day. Intermittent fasting is good for you.

I would have checked if my guest was hungry though.

I only eat one meal a day myself, have done for years for health reasons.

But I’m not a shit host. I always provide more than enough food for my guests (who know me well enough to know the health struggles I’ve been through so understand the things I eat and when I eat them, so there is no awkwardness that I don’t join them).

Why don’t they? Why are three meals a day not required?

Why is intermittent fasting good for you? To help you lose weight?

Intermittent fasting isn't safe for everyone

And you would usually build up to a specific fasting window, if you're not used to it and you just randomly skip a meal obviously you'd be hungry

Some People are fine on less than 3 meals a day

Many others do need 3 meals and snacks

keeps me healthy weight and sugars stable and full of energy

KFC also isn't a big meal - it's calorific food but lacks a lot of things like veg that o think make something a meal

Cultural wise the UK is based on 3 to 4 meals a day so it's rude not to offer that

You are a better person than me! Sometimes I cannot be bothered!

Absolutely excavating rare diamonds to set in hand crafted silverware - individually initialed especially for my guest’s visit. You have to make some effort after all to make a house guest feel welcome.

Your soup blender has a lot of work to do if it’s to be worthy of my hand crafted cutlery! And unless you have grown your own rare vegetables in organic soil, with the blood of Christ I can’t see how it will measure up….

🧐

Because I am sad and have nothing better to do, I have googled the calories in a KFC.

OP says she had "a burger" - 420 calories for a Zinger burger, 605 for a Zinger Tower burger. She also had 2 chicken wings - 2 x 175 calories = 350 calories.

So the most calories she ate at lunch was 955. Plus a couple of chips. Call it a round 1000 calories.

Plus her "4 tablespoons of leftover curry and rice" for breakfast.

Given that the average intake for a woman should be c. 2000 calories, of COURSE you are going to want to eat again in the evening.

The OP had a burger amd 2 wings. Assuming a zinger or fillet burger it would be a max of 650 calories. On what planet is 650 calories almost what you should eat in a day?

Yep, the site is full of people who insist they gain wait if the eat more than 800 calories a day. Some really fucked up attitudes to food and nutrition.

Or, a discussion by people that care about their health?

I wonder if she meant that she thought you wouldn't want anything cooked rather than nothing at all?

Glad things improved.

All's well that ends well as they say.

If you are in the U.K. this cannot be a surprise to you. Faux shock under eater?

Of course we do. It's often better next day as the flavours have more time to imbue and meld.

Agree. I usually have a yoghurt and tea for breakfast around 9am and then dinner around 7pm, which generally is grilled chicken or burger, no bread, with veg. Might have soup or cheese and crackers midafternoon if particularly hungry. And I work full time, do all my own DIY & gardening, etc so hardly sedentary.

On weekends we'll sometimes have a more elaborate breakfast with eggs and croissant, and/or something like lasagne with garlic bread for dinner. But that large amount of carbs is rare here.

Like that old saying goes, "a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!"

That said I certainly lay in many more options for a guest.

So an average day for you is a yoghurt for breakfast (maybe 150cals) and some chicken and veg for dinner (can't see that being more than 500 cals, if alot of chicken and some oil for cooking). Is that right?

Hi op,

I know you are a guest and maybe it is unusual but did you offer to participate in any of the expenses due to your presence? How long was your stay? Was it clear that you shouldn’t be paying nothing at all?