Page 7 | “D”H being rude and spiky because of international women’s day…

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:07

19 November.

glammymommy · 09/03/2025 18:08

I get this every year at work. "Miss don't you think it's unfair that women get..." at which point I cut them off by saying "November 19th" and they (usually a teen boy but not always) says it's rude to interrupt or words to that effect, and I say don't fret, November 19th is international mens day, if you don't know about it maybe you should think about why. And then we go off on a tangent about why IMD is dedicated to men's health and why IWD is dedicated to honouring women. But hopefully they learn that men have a day too

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:09

Just to be clear - International Men’s Day is November 19.

It’s a wonder your husband has not bothered to educate himself on that.

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:10

glammymommy · 09/03/2025 18:08

I get this every year at work. "Miss don't you think it's unfair that women get..." at which point I cut them off by saying "November 19th" and they (usually a teen boy but not always) says it's rude to interrupt or words to that effect, and I say don't fret, November 19th is international mens day, if you don't know about it maybe you should think about why. And then we go off on a tangent about why IMD is dedicated to men's health and why IWD is dedicated to honouring women. But hopefully they learn that men have a day too

Same! Whenever a whiner starts whining “WHeN iS inTERnaTIonAL meN’s DAy” I tell them November 19 and then watch them try to whine about something else.

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:11

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/03/2025 18:20

This. I think men want women to do the admin of IMD for them. They can organise their own and I encourage them to.

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We actually do a series of events for IMD at work….

……and of COURSE most of the events are organised by women. It’s embarassing!

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:21

WaterMonkey · 08/03/2025 19:45

Some of them can mask for an astonishing length of time. A lot of women report significant changes in their partner’s attitudes when children come along, for instance.

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I an often suspicious of this claim. That maybe when their misogyny starts to become unbearable - but for somebody to hide their true character for years is highly unlikely. It was just likely dismissed as “not that big a deal”

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:22

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 08/03/2025 20:33

Terrifying that men who hate women still find one to marry and have children with.

Exactly this. They always do.

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:29

TemporaryPosition · 09/03/2025 07:18

It could be that his feeds have been flooded with certain content - memes that read "feminists biggest weakness is that only ever compare themselves to the most successful 5% of men and never to the least". The problem is, there is something in that. Some feminism can be very alienating.

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What a stupid meme.

socialdilemmawhattodo · 09/03/2025 18:29

ChampagneSuperNova00 · 08/03/2025 20:07

It comes out when he feels wronged or hard done by….

Sometimes if he feels criticised or if he feels he is having to do jobs when no one else is, or if he’s tired and can’t be bothered doing something involving effort

It rears its head sporadically and we manage it by laughing at him and pointing out how ridiculous he is being or ignoring him and continuing with our own stuff. A few hours later, or a day later he is generally back to ok.

yes it is pretty pathetic tbh, like a petulant child and is sort of inexcusable for a grown adult professional man

Generally day to day he is fine and not like this…

My ex used to be like this if feeling wronged or hard done by. Problem was he could hardly ever recognise the contributions of others so he felt like that A LOT. Mine was also a professional man - running teams, large budgets, projects - totally driven at work, and brought those attitudes home. I probably wasnt the right support for him as I didnt pander to the moods.

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:33

asrl78 · 09/03/2025 18:04

This is addressed in this article and is a good read. It gives a more balanced view of the roles of men and women in society than the extremists either side would like us to believe.

https://medium.com/cregox/is-there-anything-good-about-men-by-roy-f-baumeister-d111ba407de3

"Men on Top

When I say I am researching how culture exploits men, the first reaction is usually "How can you say culture exploits men, when men are in charge of everything?” This is a fair objection and needs to be taken seriously. It invokes the feminist critique of society. This critique started when some women systematically looked up at the top of society and saw men everywhere: most world rulers, presidents, prime ministers, most members of Congress and parliaments, most CEOs of major corporations, and so forth — these are mostly men.

Seeing all this, the feminists thought, wow, men dominate everything, so society is set up to favor men. It must be great to be a man.

The mistake in that way of thinking is to look only at the top. If one were to look downward to the bottom of society instead, one finds mostly men there too. Who’s in prison, all over the world, as criminals or political prisoners? The population on Death Row has never approached 51% female. Who’s homeless? Again, mostly men. Whom does society use for bad or dangerous jobs? US Department of Labor statistics report that 93% of the people killed on the job are men. Likewise, who gets killed in battle? Even in today’s American army, which has made much of integrating the sexes and putting women into combat, the risks aren’t equal. This year we passed the milestone of 3,000 deaths in Iraq, and of those, 2,938 were men, 62 were women.

One can imagine an ancient battle in which the enemy was driven off and the city saved, and the returning soldiers are showered with gold coins. An early feminist might protest that hey, all those men are getting gold coins, half of those coins should go to women. In principle, I agree. But remember, while the men you see are getting gold coins, there are other men you don’t see, who are still bleeding to death on the battlefield from spear wounds."

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I never get the point about prisons - do they want women to commit more crimes? (And no it’s not that women commit crimes at the same rate and are not imprisoned for it - men simply commit more crimes to begin with - so they are arguing for more women to commit crimes).

Ditto workplace deaths - this is why Workplace Health and Safety Laws are a GOOD thing. But lot of people who like to play the “male workplace deaths” card also seem to sneer at workplace “red tape” and mock health and safety legislation.

Waitwhat23 · 09/03/2025 18:39

Alternatively, read Invisible Women by Caroline Criado-Perez to see how the world is set up with males as the default human. From drug trials, to riot gear to crash test dummies.

WaterMonkey · 09/03/2025 18:39

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:21

I an often suspicious of this claim. That maybe when their misogyny starts to become unbearable - but for somebody to hide their true character for years is highly unlikely. It was just likely dismissed as “not that big a deal”

Edited

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I’m sure that’s true in some cases, yes. My own mother knew my step-father was an abusive, cruel misogynist when she met him. She didn’t care, because his ire was directed at me, not her. So my head isn’t in the sand on this - some women indeed tolerate far too much for far too long. But abusers can mask for a very long time, until they can manoeuvre a woman into a position where she feels she has no option but to stay. I don’t believe there’s some plague of wilful ignorance sweeping the female sex that’s causing so many to meet and stay with men they know are misogynistic (not that that’s what I think you’re suggesting, of course).

YourWildAmberSloth · 09/03/2025 19:04

Tell him 19th November. Then tell him to fucking grow up!

Cetim · 09/03/2025 19:11

Massive massive sigh. There is an IMD and if he actually cared about it independent of IWD, he would know this. He doesn't care about IMD he just cares that women are being celebrated. and the question is... why? Sorry I am sure he is a lovely man I don't want to be disrespectful to your husband but he is being completely pathetic.

envbeckyc · 09/03/2025 19:25

ChampagneSuperNova00 · 08/03/2025 18:17

….he doesn’t think it’s fair that men don’t get a day and I didn’t agree, so I am getting the silent treatment with a helping of grumpiness, bitterness and spikiness and lots of huffing….what on earth is this about?

I wouldn’t mind but I didn’t even mention it in the first place, he brought it up. Its like living with a huffy teen.

Is your Husband Donald Trump?

Melania - you can do better? Sure his money helps you overlook the human garbage he is…. but run!

Laura95167 · 09/03/2025 19:28

International men's day is 19th Nov

Penguinmouse · 09/03/2025 19:28

ChampagneSuperNova00 · 08/03/2025 18:17

….he doesn’t think it’s fair that men don’t get a day and I didn’t agree, so I am getting the silent treatment with a helping of grumpiness, bitterness and spikiness and lots of huffing….what on earth is this about?

I wouldn’t mind but I didn’t even mention it in the first place, he brought it up. Its like living with a huffy teen.

Tell him that there is an International Men’s Day and it’s 19th November (and every other bloody day)

I would certainly trade a gender pay gap, a pensions gap, maternity discrimination, two women a week being killed by a domestic partner for no fuss. What a prince.

Penguinmouse · 09/03/2025 19:31

Honestly, I would see this as such a red flag. IWD exists to dismantle the systematic oppression of women and girls, it’s not a personal attack on him. As others have pointed out, there is an International Men’s Day, but he doesn’t care about that. He is huffy that women are being spotlighted. I bet he’s one of those people who when people say “I’m raising money for a domestic violence charity for women affected by DV” would say “what about men affected by DV?!” - never does anything of his own to help but simply cannot stand women being given more attention than him.

Waitwhat23 · 09/03/2025 19:44

Penguinmouse · 09/03/2025 19:28

Tell him that there is an International Men’s Day and it’s 19th November (and every other bloody day)

I would certainly trade a gender pay gap, a pensions gap, maternity discrimination, two women a week being killed by a domestic partner for no fuss. What a prince.

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For anyone who isn't aware of the prevalence of such issues -

Medical misogyny - https://committees.parliament.uk/committee/328/women-and-equalities-committee/news/204316/medical-misogyny-is-leaving-women-in-unnecessary-pain-and-undiagnosed-for-years/

Women killed by men - https://kareningalasmith.com/category/counting-dead-women/

Gender pay gap - https://gender-pay-gap.service.gov.uk/

Maternity discrimination - pregnantthenscrewed.com/about-maternity-discrimination/

Counting Dead Women – Karen Ingala Smith

Posts about Counting Dead Women written by Karen Ingala Smith

https://kareningalasmith.com/category/counting-dead-women/

Dogsbreath7 · 09/03/2025 19:57

FartyAnimal · 08/03/2025 18:18

Men get every day and have done for millennia. He's a moron.

This.

one day for women and 364 days for men. He thinks that is still too much for women?

so what did he do to celebrate you?

TemporaryPosition · 09/03/2025 21:37

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:29

What a stupid meme.

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What a stupid comment.

steff13 · 09/03/2025 22:21

TemporaryPosition · 09/03/2025 07:18

It could be that his feeds have been flooded with certain content - memes that read "feminists biggest weakness is that only ever compare themselves to the most successful 5% of men and never to the least". The problem is, there is something in that. Some feminism can be very alienating.

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I've read this a couple of times, and I don't get it.

TomatoSandwiches · 09/03/2025 22:33

Perhaps you can treat him to a separation this IMD op, let him see what single life as a man of his age and without a wife to help facilitate it can be.

asrl78 · 09/03/2025 22:39

JHound · 09/03/2025 18:33

I never get the point about prisons - do they want women to commit more crimes? (And no it’s not that women commit crimes at the same rate and are not imprisoned for it - men simply commit more crimes to begin with - so they are arguing for more women to commit crimes).

Ditto workplace deaths - this is why Workplace Health and Safety Laws are a GOOD thing. But lot of people who like to play the “male workplace deaths” card also seem to sneer at workplace “red tape” and mock health and safety legislation.

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You've missed the point, which is that although you find more men than women in positions of power/wealth, you also find more men in positions of destitution and criminality. The reason given is that although the mean IQ of men and women is around the same, the standard deviation of IQ's in men is larger than in women, hence in society you have more male than female geniuses but you also have more male than female losers. This is why you have more men in high positions and more men in prisons and on the streets. Blaming the male bias at the top end of society on patriarchy is flawed because when you look at the bottom end of society, it is unlikely patriarchy is trying to make our sons thick and useless to society. The article says nothing about "wanting more women to commit crimes" or anything about whether some people play the excessive red tape/nanny state card as a reason to object to genuinely valuable health and safety regulation, so I have no idea why you brought that up.

Greenshed · 09/03/2025 22:46

ChampagneSuperNova00 · 08/03/2025 18:17

….he doesn’t think it’s fair that men don’t get a day and I didn’t agree, so I am getting the silent treatment with a helping of grumpiness, bitterness and spikiness and lots of huffing….what on earth is this about?

I wouldn’t mind but I didn’t even mention it in the first place, he brought it up. Its like living with a huffy teen.

Ignore him - that’s the best response to such childish behaviour. Don’t feed it, just carry on with your normal routine.