“D”H being rude and spiky because of international women’s day…

[ChampagneSuperNova00]

….he doesn’t think it’s fair that men don’t get a day and I didn’t agree, so I am getting the silent treatment with a helping of grumpiness, bitterness and spikiness and lots of huffing….what on earth is this about?

I wouldn’t mind but I didn’t even mention it in the first place, he brought it up. Its like living with a huffy teen.

Really!!!🙄

Yeah I remember a guy spiting this ‘when is international Men’s day eh?’ I replied monotone ‘it’s 19th November’ he looked it up and says ‘we’ll get isn’t it such a big deal, why is nothing done to celebrate it!’ I said ‘talk to the other men about that I don’t care what you do, women aren’t organising that for you as well!’

i was part of a feminist group that did a load of tweets every IWD about things affecting women etc.

And god the pushback, the moaning and the threats we got. So we pointed out about 19th November, and on that day we used to also tweet resources (in particular about men's mental health and prostrate cancer)

No pushback from women, just retweets etc.

The next year we contacted some of the moaners in advance of 19th November so they could organise their campaiging... imagine what happened?
They want women to organise it for them, etc etc

So now? i just ignore them and carry on doing what i do for IWD

….he doesn’t think it’s fair that men don’t get a day and I didn’t agree, so I am getting the silent treatment with a helping of grumpiness, bitterness and spikiness and lots of huffing….what on earth is this about?

Men do "get a day", as others have noted here. The fact that he complained that they don't without checking makes me think he might be a bit of a grievance monster.

And let's say men DID NOT have a day - is it not still OK to have a dedicated and special women's day in a society that is institutionally misogynist and geared and biased in every way - except for a few defensive feminist incursions - in favor of men? And also consider the history of the days - if women pushed for and made a case for women's day and men never bothered about a men's day, would that be unfair? In fact, women cared and made a case AND men cared and made a case, and so we have both days.

More important than any of these, though - his giving you the silent treatment because you disagreed with him is potentially abusive, especially if it is any kind of pattern and not a pure, situation-based "one-off". He wants to make it unpleasant and uncomfortable for you to hold and express an opinion different from his own. This is nonsense. He gets to have and express his opinion and you get to have an express yours. If he wants to say "hey - what you said makes me so angry or so confused that I need a little time to cool off; let's talk about this later/tomorrow/etc.", then I'd respect that and not push him to talk before he's ready. But just silent treatment with no explanation whenever you disagree? Hell, no.

It's also International Akita Day, my God...he's behind a dog in the pecking order...😂

Men want their own national day and they want women to organise it for them.

I had lunch with five women friends today. One of them came along with five bunches of daffodils, one for each of us. Her DH had been to the shops this morning, saw that it was IWD and bought each of us, her friends, a bunch of daffs. How lovely was that?

What a man child.

My wife told me it was iwd today so I made her a brew, took her for a walk, took her shopping, bought her a drink and food, drove her about. She's a wonder to put up with me for 29 years, deserves a medal.

Love this. Feel like all women should be demanding giant cookies on IWD, the least we deserve.

The whole world is designed for the benefit of men. And he resents one day being focussed on women? What a prick.

That’s not fair ! Men get 19th November AND 1st April……(😉just sayin’)

Tell him International wankers day is everyday lol

Where in the world do you live, that you can be married to a 12 year old boy?

That's terrifying.

I find it difficult to advise in these situations because, for me, if a man has to think about why something like IWD is necessary for more than about thirty seconds, then I tend to think that there is little hope of them ever having the intellectual capacity to be in a truly equal and respectful relationship with a woman.

It also concerns me significantly that he is being ‘off’ with you about it. Smacks of coercive control.

However, you are married to this man, and if you wanted to try to move things forward, could you…?

1. Explain to him firmly that you need your life partner to be someone who has a genuine appreciation of the impacts of structural inequalities and the necessity of attempting to right them,
2. Tell him that his behaviour towards you has been completely unacceptable and you will not tolerate it.
3. Tell him that he has 24 hours to reflect on the above and correct his attitudes and behaviour.
4. Tell him that, at the end of the 24 hours, there will be a family meeting at which he will be expected to apologise to you for his behaviour and to your daughters for having harboured the misogynistic attitudes that he did.

Then keep a very sharp eye out of any repeats of this behaviour or similar attitudes and reconsider the marriage if you see it again.

Maybe show him some facts - eg the age of consent and marriage is 9 in Iran; women are now banned from education and speaking to female friends in public in Afghanistan; it wasn’t until 1993 that marital assault became a crime in all 50 US states; that no man in history has ever died as a result of childbirth; that sexual and violent assaults by men in women in the UK are rising…and then ask him why exactly he feels hard done by, oppressed, disadvantaged and bitter? Pathetic.

Put an event in his calendar for a week before next years one. The event is ‘remembering there is an international women’s day, and instead of being a pathetic sulking twat to my wife and daughters, getting the fuck over myself and being glad there is this for my daughters at least even if I am just too childish to be nice or supportive to my wife.’

How deeply unattractive.

What a petty cock.

Every day that a man can walk wherever he wants, at whatever time of day or night he wants, is international men's day.
Every day that a man can drink in a pub, eat in a cafe, travel on any form of public transport, without being bothered when doing any of these things, is international men's day.
Everyday that a man can park his car anywhere he wants without giving his safety a single thought is international men's day.
So basically men get a 'day' every single day

What is it about IWD that makes him feel hard done by..I mean it's literally nothing to do with him 🤷🏼‍♀️

To be honest, all the IWD spam on socials has been doing my head in. I've spent the day with my biggest supporter: my husband. I wouldn't be half the woman I am without him. So I've been celebrating him today 🤷‍♀️

Well quite. It's not like women are all sent cards and money or anything.

It's an awareness day. I post a lot of stuff every day about Afghanistan and Iran, the Tuam babies, the Counting Dead Women project...etc, but today, I get to put a #IWD hashtag on so that anyone searching that hashtag can see whatever women's issue people are talking about.

It's not a bloody holiday. What is he missing out on?!

Ewwwww, is he a baby?