To think some people found lockdown really hard and it wasn't their fault

[elliejjtiny]

I don't normally think about this, it's something horrible that happened but it's over for us for the most part thank goodness (I appreciate there are people who are still struggling a lot).

It's that time of year so some people are saying 5 years ago we were doing xyz for the last time etc. Mil was going on about how great she found lockdown. Not a lot changed for her and FIL as they don't go out much and they are retired. Meanwhile I had 5 dc with SEN, one of whom licks everything and for us life changed dramatically for the worse. I was saying that it was nice that MIL enjoyed lockdown but for us it was extremely hard. She told me it was my fault and it would have been fun for us too if I had been more organised.

IMO for some people lockdown was awful.

It fucked me up good and proper. Anxiety and depression went to overdrive. I suddenly found myself working from home (read: a TINY flat) to help deliver a massive project. All while people with big houses and gardens were rubbing it in how they were having the best time ever "slowing down" and "appreciating" or whatever the fuck.

Now I have a garden and I'm on antidepressants, so if another lockdown happens I won't lose my mind again.

There were estimates that 40% of the population could die from Covid, that's about 25 million people across the UK

I thought it was 40 million projeected deaths rather than 40 per cent, @NorthernLassDownSouth, and that this was across the globe rather than just the UK, but that's only from memory and given the competitive catastrophising at the time I can easily believe that someone may have come up with 40%

As for the much-lauded vaccines, how fortunate for the drug companies' finances that so much potential "freedom" was pinned on their development, and given their lobbying power I've often wondered what opportunities this may have created for those making the rules

Me personally would have loved it. An introvert with books and music and flexible approach to work?

me in reality, with three children aged 1-6 (two of whom were dreadful sleepers) and a job that went absolutely bananas? I was very, very far from ok and to be honest I have never been quite the same since then.

As a country, we came dangerously close to the reality of "get vaccinated, or be an outcast"

In light of some of the comments made at the time I'd say we came more than "close", @scalt, and I wonder if any of the resistance to this being discussed is because some would rather not be reminded of what was said

I also totally agree with your comment about the precedent involved, which feeds in to what I was saying last night about the mass experiment it provided for governments

Feel sorry for her ineptitude, it doesn’t take a genius to work out how stressful looking after 5 children in lockdown would be. Respond with ‘no that’s not it at all’ and move on to more intelligent people to talk to.

Yes it was hard for many but with respect it’s time for people to get over it.

What really pissed me off was that some friends of the slowing down,making banana bread ,having fun and enjoying time together variety kept asking me (had to go to work,DD was in the keyworker group) if I was worried/anxious/hated it etc. Even if I was, there was fuck all I could do about it so I was just trying to get on with it and pretend everything is fine. Nope, constant messages and reminders of how shit and scary and dangerous it all is. Some pushed it a step further with sending me daily updates of new cases in my area and we had a massive fall out about it. It's like they wanted me to meltdown.

Yes, lockdown was bloody awful for some people. People who were isolated at home on their own, or struggling with DC, or those who had no visitors (due to being in care homes, hospitals or being on their own), those who were worried about finances and jobs, and those who were vulnerable and losing their support networks.

I worked on an acute ward through it (acute respiratory ward, so we had really poorly people on there), and I can see how shit lockdown was for many. But: I was able to go out to work and earn (even though I was terrified), I could see people (at work) each day and not be isolated at home. My DC were sent to my DB's place just before lockdown started (and I missed them terribly as I didn't see them and could only do video calls) but they were safe with their uncle, aunt and cousins. DB/DSIL have a large house and garden. I won't go into what I saw on ward and how that has haunted me, because that isn't the point of the thread. ..and I wasn't stuck at home during lockdown like so many were (NB I did follow the rules so it was just work, the shop and home for me).

I remember the posts about people making memories and feeling blessed, but there were plenty who didn't have those fun experiences. I think your MIL is being really insensitive with her comments.

I don’t really understand the point o some of these posts? People shouldn’t have enjoyed lockdown because others had it worse, is that’s what being said? Surely any decent person would be delighted that their loved ones enjoyed that time?

What's being said is that if lockdown was not fun or even right down miserable for some it's not that hard a concept to understand, it wasn't their fault and that being more organised/positive/willing wouldn't have helped.

Who cares - it was 5 years ago. Surely everyone is sick to the back teeth of lockdown whingeing by now?

We were retired, big house, countryside, no one in the family caught covid. It was fine for us. My SIL was terrified by the whole thing. She worked from home, and that carried on long after covid stuff lifted, so she literally didn't leave the house for 2 years . She was too terrified to sit in the garden if the neighbours were in their gardens and wouldn't go out of the front door in case someone walking past gave her covid . She is still unable to cope with busy places and family gatherings that aren't outside . We used to go to lunch regularly. That had never resumed and she won't come to us. My brother said that he didn't think she would ever get over it. She came to my exhibition in a huge, airy gallery last weekend . She had to go outside after 5 minutes because she was having a panic attack.

We’re all different. My bff loved lockdown - had her wife at home full time as she was wfh. Income stayed the same, commuting bills dropped by nearly 4K a year. As bff w
as home before anyway, the gas/electric bills stayed the same. Bff doesn’t go out anyway and hates being around people

me - I hated every second of it I had doctors appointments cancelled till 2023 when I was diagnosed with something serious and life changing that had it been diagnosed in 2020 when I first approached them would have been less serious

Dd missed out on A levels, first year of Uni, prom, prize giving (she won a major prize). At Uni she won THE top prize for her School (eg school of medicine so not just her degree subject). She missed this due to Uni lecturers strikes - again just got an email

i felt trapped in the house with a depressed 17/18 year old, a dh who hated (and still does - has to wfh two days a week) wfh. He was miserable, she was miserable. The dogs loved it

I couldn’t get a home delivery for food the shops never had food we could eat (dairy allergy and celiac - one of each - plus one vegetarian).

i have elderly parents with significant health issues (including dementia) and they were just abandoned - I did their shopping and dropped it off at their front door.

my mental health suffered.

I got permission after ?6 months to form a bubble with parents as Dad couldn’t cope with Mum and she needed personal care that he was really struggling with.

Both parents got diagnosed with cancer one in 2021 and one in 2022

2021 - you need biopsy but we don’t know when we can do it as these things are less priority to Covid cases. Got biopsy as a Doctor saw this had been raised March 2020 and called dad in on a Saturday to do biopsy - on his day off - so grateful to that Doc

dad I had to drive to cancer centre and sit in ca whilst he went in alone. He was told he had cancer over the phone! None of us could sit with him whilst he had 12 hours of treatment each day

Mun was a bit less awful as it was 2022 but still had to wear masks and she panicked wearing one due to her dementia. Again a late diagnosis as she was only ‘seen’ by a nurse over telephone. I googled her symptoms and raised that it sounded like cancer after months of antibiotics Eventually got seen, by now it was stage 4 cancer. If she’d been seen in 2020 when it first started or 2021 when she w
as first referred to hospital we might have had a different outcome

so yeah, you can shove lockdown where the sun don’t shine

Clearly not.

There's a lot to be said for just not clicking on threads you find uninteresting or frustrating.

@APATEKPHILLIPEWATCH well you seem to care, as you're on the thread and commenting on it.

Also, some people care (personally or professionally) because the effects of it were long lasting in some cases and they're still dealing with the aftermath of it.

That ok with you?

I’m not sure what that has to do with my mental health and the terrible impact lockdown had on it. Searching for any rationale to explain why my perception of lockdown is ‘wrong’ just strengthens my belief that so many people had such a black and white view of the entire period they can not in anyway understand or empathise with the dreadful dreadful effect it had on some people struggled and are still struggling with the aftermath. I know without one iota of doubt that if I was forced into another lockdown I would drive to beachy head and jump. One last flight.

Yu are a grown adult so surely you can understand your MIL is not at fault for not struggling and you are not at fault for finding it hard. Everyone's life is different, everyone's circumstances are different.

Definitely agree. As a single parent working it was incredibly tough and affected my mental health a lot.
People should understand it was different for different people.

Except MIL told her it WAS her fault for not being organised enough.

As I say, you seem to be blind to the effects its had so the word 'we' is accurate in my view. We meaning the vast majority of the population, we meaning society, we meaning how we tend to function

If you want to split hairs over qualifiers of the word 'we' then fine, but its general short hand for 'most of the country'

The effects are still taking place, negatively, personally, institutionally, economically, educationally, politically, socially, environmentally.

It's 5 years ago, why are people still going on about it?

How bizarre. Did you read my post? Ups and downs for me as most things in life.

and you extrapolated this?

If you want to split hairs over qualifiers of the word 'we' then fine, but its general short hand for 'most of the country'

and i simply do not think that “most of the country” have been “sorely damaged” and remain living in a shit show

The answer to that lies in the majority of these replies.

It was a weird time for me, I gave birth to my fourth baby 2 days before lockdown. I felt like I came out of hospital (on the 23rd march, first day of lockdown) to a parallel universe. It was a mix of easy and hard for me, no rushing around trying to do school runs with a newborn, my DH works away and was due to go away when baby was 10 days old but he was furloughed for months so he ended up getting a really good bond with baby that might not have happened in the same way otherwise. It was quite nice spending all the time with the kids.

However, we were shielding so we couldn't go out at all, had a tiny garden and our house was small so we all went a bit stir crazy. I really suffered with not being able to see friends and family.