Horrified about DP’s sexist comments about IWD

[ThisFastLion]

We hosted friends last night, it was quite boozy and the topic turned to International Women’s Day.

My DP started ranting about how ridiculous it is and that men aren’t afforded the same ‘treatment’. He then questioned what happens on this day, and suggested ‘all the women should do the ironing’ whilst the men go down the pub. None of my friends nor their partners laughed at this and it was an incredibly awkward atmosphere for the final hour of the night.

i had a huge go at DP when everyone left and he simply doubled down and said he was joking.

AIBU to find that completely inappropriate?

There's always one who pipes up about when International Men's Day is - it's in November I think.

I have my own issues with IWD as it never seems to bring about meaningful change and is just an excuse for companies to buy themed cupckaes as far as I can see but men going on about it really annoys me.

19th November is International Men's Day.

Only most men aren't aware of it and only seem to wonder about it on 8th March.

YANBU. He really is a dick.

He sounds like one of those blokes who will respond better to being reminded that none of the other men laughed and that they probably think he’s a complete prat, so I’d go with that line first. And then I’d remind him later that the world still needs to make much more progress on women’s rights. Is he not aware of that? And I’d also say that if he thinks men are so down trodden, then you’ll remind him of how much worse his life will be without you. So if you do the laundry, cooking etc stop doing anything for him.

This

But whenever men moan about it my usual retort is that every day is fucking international men's day!

He's a dim twat.
Now these friends know this too.
Probably not the first rubbish he sprouted either.
You have to decide if you want to settle for a bit of a twit who doesn't care if he makes you cringe.
I'd get the ick.

Yes it’s November. He was trying to be funny (like the photo of the banner which is really creased and someone says ‘you could have ironed it) and misfired I think - was he drunk because it all sounds a bit clumsy?

He’s probably embarrassed because he came across as a bit of a nob in front of everyone.

I like IWD because it’s a reminder to celebrate our sex and eachother. My GD is moving into womanhood and we had an amazing text exchange this morning about how awesome women are, it brought a lovely sense of connection and affirmation for her I think.

I have definitely woken up with the ick 😐

Oh yeah, his other comment was ‘it’s always the self proclaimed independent women who can’t be single for more than 5 minutes’ which was slightly awkward seeing as one of my friends has had her fair share of partners in recent years, albeit not usually through any fault of her own!

Lord but he sounds absolutely awful.
Sorry OP, but your choice of partner will be discussed by your friends and you will likely be given a hard swerve in future, I certainly would.

Think long and hard about if this is what you want.
He doesn't sound worth being around.
I sincerely hope you don't have children.

My friend was married a twst and she had a child quite quickly.
He took to being rude and twatty when out with her friends.
It worked as my husband said never again as my Saturday night to too precious to spend in shite company.

We never went out again.
Don't dismiss this, you will regret it.
Give your future some serious thought.

So now he's learnt it's 19th November, he's got months to plan a really good event. He's probably signing up organisations around men's mental health and suicide prevention or whatever aspect of men's lives he thinks needs most support, right?

When men at work complained there's no men's network, I pointed out that they were also welcome to become members of the women's network and attend events - and if they felt the need for a men's network, they should put a case together and take it to HR to request support and funding.

You will be shocked to hear, not one of them said, "thanks for suggesting that, I'll get right on to it." They don't want to do the work themselves.

Scratch the surface of many men and this is what you'll find.

Richard Herring spent many years on March 8 on twitter for 16 hour stretches purely replying to tweets that ask when is International Men's Day and he raised a lot of money for Refuge by doing so. I'd tell your partner that and ask him to donate.

Fucking hell, this is even worse.

I couldn’t have sex with a pratt like this. Do you live together?

He doesn't know when International Men's Day is because he needs a woman to tell him when it is.

What a twat.

Is this out of character?

I'm guessing this isn't his first time being a twat.

I think many men think like him, alcohol helps them feel happy to express it

I would have assumed he was joking, and probably joined in, with some better comeback.

But we have a similar sense of humor, which I think helps.

…and no he’s not a dick.

I would declare myself independent and single. He's a fucking knob.

What a nob.

Did you not know before now that you had married a twat?

We aren’t married and don’t live together (yet) - we’ve been together just over a year.

This is the first time he’s made any comments of that nature…

Yeah in that case you are just finding out who he is.

I agree with @AMurderofMurderingCrows , declare yourself independent and single.

If I was one of your friends, I'd be distancing myself from you, sorry. Anyone who is in a relationship with a racist or homophobe or misogynist is suspicious to me. I just don't get how decent people can be with someone who has such abhorrent views, and these things don't just appear out of nowhere.

Does he normally have an 'off the wall' comedy style? What is his attitude towards feminism or women's rights?

I was reading an article today and apparently 47% of Brits (men?) said that women had enough rights. We're also seeing a backlash against women's rights.