Horrified about DP’s sexist comments about IWD

[ThisFastLion]

We hosted friends last night, it was quite boozy and the topic turned to International Women’s Day.

My DP started ranting about how ridiculous it is and that men aren’t afforded the same ‘treatment’. He then questioned what happens on this day, and suggested ‘all the women should do the ironing’ whilst the men go down the pub. None of my friends nor their partners laughed at this and it was an incredibly awkward atmosphere for the final hour of the night.

i had a huge go at DP when everyone left and he simply doubled down and said he was joking.

AIBU to find that completely inappropriate?

I think having a bit of banter is fine and often with alcohol mixed in, it can come out more clumsy than expected.

I have quite a dark sense of humour and don’t get easily offended.

But I think this is indicative of his true feelings towards women and I would tread very carefully and decide whether he is someone you want to waste your time on him.

He doesn't deserve the 'Oh, I'm sure he was just joking/trying to make an ironic comment and all you silly women couldn't possibly comprehend the complexity of his humour' excuses that are being posted here.

It's what he thinks.

With the 'couldn't be single for more than five minutes' criticising women for having agency over their own sexual choices being outright misogyny, I think I'd be calling it a day. In the past, I've found that comment to be more common with men who get dumped for being misogynistic oafs and then find out they aren't the catnip to the ladies that they believe they are - that is, the foundation of incel culture.

hes a sexist twat. Do not have kids with him!

Sounds embarrassing. Hopefully he was just drunk and trying to be funny with edgy humour. Men never seem to learn misogynistic humour really isn't funny to anyone outside of lads in a locker room. Could also be his true opinion on women, in which case, bin the whole man.

Men don't need a day because they hold pretty much all the institutionalised power worldwide.

An apology wouldn’t cut it for me in this situation. He’d be getting dumped. Life’s too short.

I read a lot of those and they were hilarious. ❤Richard Herring for this, a simple, non confrontational supportive appreciation of women. Shame more men don’t manage to step up to the plate.

Just told my husband and he laughed. Seems like jokes are banned these days lol Get a sense of humour and you will feel better!

Wow! Racism and bigotry niw?

I was reading an article today and apparently 47% of Brits (men?) said that women had enough rights. We're also seeing a backlash against women's rights.

In most areas, we probably do have enough rights (in Britain.) What we don't have is enough observance of those rights - and we definitely need to ensure they're not eroded.

Fucking hell…..that’s really grim

I wouldn’t be walking away, I’d be running

How desperate do you have to be for a man if you stay with someone after they fully reveal their misogyny?
The guys doesn’t like women; not as real people anyway. Just dump him. There are better men out there.

Eh? Literally not going to happen. And a xenophobic slur to boot.

Are you talking about the far right Great Replacement theory?

Dicky comment but I also absolutely hate IWD. Patronising meaningless bullshit. It should be about serious issues that affect women's rights in developing countries, instead it's fucking purple cupcakes and balloons in the office with zero mention of Afghanistan.

Sure. Women have the right to work full time and do all the childcare and housework. They have too many rights. Time to level up.

An equally red flag is the disregard he is showing for your social circle and how you are perceived within it. On some level, he would have known this comment would be perceived as 'off', but this didn't stop him dribbling it out, perhaps on the off-chance that it might earn him a thumbs-up from one of the other men present. He prioritised his own chappy gag over your good standing with your friends. Textbook red flag and classic thin end of the wedge 'training' incident to see to what extent you're prepared excuse and explain away his behaviour.

*Editing to say "chappy" should read "crappy" but I think I'll leave it as it is.

You're on notice, he's easily dumped now. I'd want to know this was a crass attempt at humour and not his opinion before moving your relationship onwards.
Even after thirty years of marriage I'd have pulled DH up there and then for comments like that. His actions at home don't reflect misogyny and I still wouldn't put up with such crap, especially in front of our friends.

Dump him, no tolerance for this sexist nonsense

I sort of agree. In the last few hours I’ve received emails using IWD to try to sell me face cream, shoes, deodorant, underwear and asking me to sponsor a donkey of all things. All very tenuous.

None of this changes the fact that OP’s BF is a misogynist with the sense of humour of an absolute thicko, of course.

I can accept the occasional ‘boys will be boys’

Why? Why is it ok to SOMEtimes be a raging arsehole?

Our oldest son asked DH what a ‘Karen’ was recently. I was out of earshot. DH explained it was misogynistic and sexist, explained what misogyny is in basic terms, and that it was a horrible term to quiet women. We’ve never had that conversation. That’s who he is whether he’s around women or not.

I don’t want a partner who wears a mask when he’s trying to impress me at the start. I want someone who is decent when I’m not watching.

Anything less is unacceptable to me.

Afghanistan is mentioned, that's just your office that's lacking

Is he also a fan of all lives matter?

Urgh, that would be it for me I think.

He's not joking, this is how he thinks.

To be fair, I’ve worked in several places where sexual harassment and gender pay gaps were par for the course but we were expected to be placated by IWD-branded pens every 8th March. I don’t think it’s just this poster’s office that’s lacking. IWD has become very tokenistic.

I don't see the point of IWD. I don't see the point of black history month and LGBTetc history month. I actively dislike International Men's Day.

But he sounds like a misogynistic twat.