To expect husband to feed baby on the weekends?

[Gemmy96]

I am a SAHM who looks after dc (1yo) from Monday to Friday solo. This includes all meals, with the exception of a few dinners a week, all cooking, all baby groups, all medical appointments, etc. All the usual SAHM things. My husband goes out to work Monday to Friday. We have just had our usual Saturday morning row because he wants to lie in (as if I ever get to!) and is whining about me asking him to feed the baby. The issue is, apparently, that he never gets a full day off. AIBU?

Even if a 1 year old sleeps well at night, they are likely still going to be up first thing in the morning which means OP deserves a lie in once a week just as DH does.

Rubbish
everyone needs a break

You also get: time to yourself, time to go to the loo uninterrupted, to drink a hot drink whilst it’s hot, to have lunch without having to feed anyone else. I highly doubt the OP’s husband is working non-stop 9-5 without a break.

Let him have a lie in and then just go out. If your baby is BF then express some milk and freeze it during the week so there is plenty of milk.

let him parent his own kid for 5 hours and ensure dinner is ready for when you get home.

What would happen if he decided to walk away? You are kidding right?
What would happen is he would never cope with 50/50 access because he currently doesn’t actually parent his child and would would (gasp, shudder) have to surrender his lie ins. He’s the type of dad who would have his baby one overnight a week or less and would end up having to pay maintenance anyway.
If you are having a dig at the fact she doesn’t work outside the home- have you seen how much childcare for babies cost and how much she is saving them by not working?
Get a grip woman.

Great answer OP!

It’s a bit sad that he isn’t desperate for a bit of hang out time with DC after a week at work. Does he spend much time getting to know his child?

My DH did and now we are reaping copious rewards with our kids 20 years later.

This may be an unpopular opinion but I kind of blame these selfish expectations on the DH's mothers. I think too many parents these days try and be best friends with their sons, and are soft with them, rather than teaching them skills that would enhance a relationship like doing half of the bloody household lifting.
My own DS isn't spectacular at household stuff (I did try, maybe not enough), however he's happy to turn his hand to DIY and is currently landscaping his and his DP's garden. Even though he's now independent of me, I still take great pleasure in reminding him that his DP isn't there to cook, clean and do all household admin, just because she's a woman quick wink to his DP in the process.

When should a man take responsibility for his own actions? We need to stop blaming women, especially when men tend to have 2 parents.

Does he fully take over all parental duties from you when he gets home and at the weekend? He should be doing that, being a SAHM is hard. Plus you gave up your career and independence. Weekends then should be 75-100% him on, you rest

If he wants lie ins he needs to travel back in time to preparent days.

He sounds awful.

He gets many breaks in his office while she can't go to the toilet by herself for 1 minute.

Also I think what people mean when.calling SAHP possibly easier or lazier isn't at all that it easy work but that working parents still have to do all the same things while also working at the same time. So it's easier comparer to doing both.

In reality also situations like OPs emerge and then it's just domestic slavery.

ODFOD.

Bringing up kids is not having time off. It's bloody hard relentless work.

OP deserves exactly the same amount of leisure time and lie ins as her lazy, feckless husband.

Also (and I'm going to generalise here), there is more likely to be a difference between the way women parent and how men do.
My DH was pretty hands-on with our two (now adults) but I remember the frustration of coming home to find the house an absolute tip, with breakfast and lunch stuff strewn everywhere, toys all over the floor and no sign of homework/baths on the horizon. DH would say, "but we've been out/playing/making dens in the woods/whatever. Great but I would have also loaded the dishwasher, done a few laundry loads, been to the shops etc.
I keep reading on here about men whose idea of looking after the kids is to sit on their phones checking the football scores whilst mayhem rages around them.
So, there can be the case of (some) men assuming parenting is piss-easy because the way they do it, it is.
My friend who was a senior hospital consultant and also had 4 kids under 6 at home always said going to work was by far the easier day.

Yeah, he’s a twat

Don’t be so ridiculous, bringing up one one year old baby as SAHM is not bloody hard relentlessly work at all. There’s no way the mother doesn’t have some time in each day to relax. Good grief, enough mothers in the past have done it and survived without all this, he had two hours out, so I want two hours out tit for tat arguing and sulking all the time.

God my number 1 tip to any expecting parents is to sort out what all this looks like because if you've different views it creates massive resentment on both sides!

My view (and fortunately my husbands view) is anytime we are both in the home we do everything 50/50 (unless 1 of us is wfh). When I was at home full time, I fitted most domestic stuff including dinner prep before he got home, so there was less to do. Then weekends and eveninga we split 50/50 (including night wakings, early mornings etc). However, it sounds like you do this, and just need him to be 50/50 at weekends.

Sit down and agree either a day each, or alternate weekends or something for getting up in the morning and doing any night wakings. If he doesn't think this is fair or won't agree, ultimately the balls in your court as to whether you want to stay with someone who views their time as more valuable than yours, and who doesn't want to fully coparent with you. This will only get worse if you have more children.