Do you holiday without DC?

[NewMomma21]

Trying to gauge how common holidaying for a few days without DC is.

DC are 1.5 and 3.5, I won’t bore with the details but suffice to say it’s been an exhausting year between lack of sleep and seasonal illness. Younger DC was an exceptionally high needs baby. Cried pretty much all day every day for a year. Has improved greatly since walking and talking. We were due to holiday in Europe in July but I’m just not sure younger DC is quite there yet. It would be tremendous stress (primarily on me) if he didn’t enjoy. I am also concerned about potential heatwaves and the impact of same on DC (pale and not used to intense heat).

We are thinking of visiting my DB in scenic part of UK instead. DMIL has suggested DH and I go abroad for 2/3 nights, get some sun and Rest and she along with my DM will mind DC in our home.

Im naturally an anxious person and can’t help but think of all the things that could go wrong. We wouldn’t be going until June so hopefully illness will have abated. We have friends who have done similar but I’m not sure.

Would you leave 21m old and 3 and a half year old for a few days? Just to add I’m not sure DM is overly keen so I haven’t asked just yet. More thinking it over, or rather over thinking it over.

I wouldn’t fly to a sun location for 2 nights, there’s way too much travel time for it to be worth it or relaxing in any way.

I wouldn’t. I’m not particularly anxious but mine are nearly 2 and 5 and I wouldn’t holiday without them especially not abroad.

It doesn’t matter how common it is. The only thing that matters is whether you want to do it. Sounds like you’d rather not right now and you’re looking for any excuse not to! It’s okay to just say no to the idea.

We are looking at Spain which is 2.5 hours away. We would fly on Sunday evening have all day Monday and Tuesday and fly home Wednesday afternoon. It’s a personal choice but this would be enough time for us to enjoy some sun and rest.

I have. Been for a week abroad several times over the years just dh and I. Think kids were older then, school age. Had weekends away when they were nursery age.
It's great to reconnect as a couple again and to unwind.

I didn't when they were that young. Didn't go away without them for years but expectations might be different now.

Why fly to Europe though, that sounds extremely tiring. Go somewhere and hour or so drive, or even better, a train ride away so your free time starts immediately, and doesn't involve loads of travel.

Yes I definitely would if I had my Mother and MIL happy to hold the fort !
We went away when mine were 2 and 4 and all was well .

Not abroad no.
I would definitely book a nice hotel break for myself and dh but I personally have a bit of a ding about both of us being in another country away from them.

I would do this in a heartbeat and be eternally grateful for a break while LOs were bonding with grandparents. You can't pour from an empty cup.

(Mum of 9, 14 and 17 year olds...)

I haven't personally done it, but I would like to. It's just that DP isn't into holidays so won't accept my mum's offers to have the kids. My mum is also alone, and nobody else really around to help so I worry it'll be too much on my mum. But if there were two willing parents like in your case, I'd definitely snatch their hand off.

Also, I went abroad twice last year with both kids and youngest was 1.5. We found a hotel with kids club and creche and that two hours a day (midday, so peak sun time) was an utter blessing for all of us. The kids had a ball playing with friends and my mum and I could relax for a short time without needing eyes in the backs of our heads.

I have flown to Spain ,Balearics many times for long weekends..it’s worth the effort and traveling is not too time consuming!

For those wondering why I would fly. I am in Ireland, we looked up a nice hotel and meal out in a high end restaurant in Dublin and because hospitality is so over priced here for the same cost we could fly to Spain and stay in a nice hotel for 2/3 nights for maybe €100 extra

I didn't when mine were that age, but only because I wouldn't have enjoyed it. If they are safe with family, it's up to you what does or doesn't work for you. There aren't any rules.

What about somewhere for total r and r after your tough year like Monart (I know it's pricey) or Inchydoney. Wouldn't waste too much time travelling just switch off.

If you want to go, and your mil is offering - do it. I left mine for a few weekends when he was young. Me and husband like to go walking, and until son was old enough to come, we left him.

Same.
The stress of getting to airport, all the waiting around, then flight then transfers (even if all goes smoothly), then it takes a couple of days to get used to the heat and then it would be time to come back.

However, I agree with @Livinggently - it matters not a jot if 99% of us would or 99% of us wouldn't. It is whether the two of you want to.

You don't sound that keen from your post.

Why not drive an hour or so away from where you live and have a couple of nights relaxing in a nice hotel or B&B and catch up on some sleep, a couple of lovely evening dinners, then hiking or sight-seeing, or a spa or whatever takes your fancy which will be a lovely relaxing break, but you know you can get back quickly if your Mums need you or if you are missing them too much.

I looked at Monart and my work colleagues all said it’s totally overpriced, the same money would fly you to Madrid/Seville/Barcelona and have you in a five star hotel. It’s just hard to justify the price to sit in the same rain I see out my window every day!

Most we ever did was a night away not too far from home.

You say you need a sun holiday and to recharge, but there's been some great weather in England in recent summers.

In your shoes, I'd avoid the airport and travel and book a nearby spa weekend, choosing a hotel with lovely gardens.

If you do July/Aug it should be lovely.

Do it. Travelling without kids is so much more restful u will feel like u r on holiday the minute u leave the house. This is a generous and loving offer from 2 women who care for u both and your children.

u have been through the mill. Go, recharge, have fun and a few days away from your children will make u love them even more. Plus they will have a great time with grandparents in overdrive. Win win.

Plus every one of those cities are fabulous for a short break ❤️

I am really torn. I don’t want to bring DC to the sun, I just don’t think they are at a good age for it yet. The cons outweigh the pros. However I will of course holiday with them, we will visit DB. We have access to two wonderful holiday homes here in Ireland that are close to beaches and child friendly activities.

But selfishly I would love a little sun break. I haven’t been away since before DC were born and even then it was covid. Our honeymoon was cancelled, we spent a small fortune holidaying here only to be sitting around in masks social distancing. So I would love to go away but I’m nervous of leaving DC in case they became unwell or upset and I’m far away and can’t be there if needed.

Why are you trying to gauge how common this is? It is a marmite question some will some won’t like it. It is completely a personal choice.

that said it is interesting that your MIL suggested it but doesn’t want to on her own and yiur mum doesn’t seem keen.

you can’t push this onto a babysitter who doesn’t want it that isn’t fair and how will it work between the two of them.

maybe start an evening the two of them and build up

Also this isn’t something to do so torn. And even though it is different I loved holidaying with mine when they were little in someways easier than the teenagers I holiday with now

U cd book last minute if u r worried about illness. And they cd b unwell wen ur away but ur not far, plus they have raised families of their own. Close your eyes and imagine the different holidays. What are u drawn to?