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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

California not Sussex

451 replies

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:28

I was born and grew up on the Surrey Sussex border. My brother currently lives in Sussex, my mum spent her retirement in Sussex, my grandparents lived in Sussex their whole lives, I had Saturday and holiday jobs in Sussex, my friends at school lived in Sussex.

I do not like or agree with Ms Markle having the 'Duchess of Sussex' title. She has spent all of 6 hours of her entire life here. She doesn't represent or care about me and the rest of the population of Sussex. She doesn't even like the UK. She will probably never set foot in the UK again, she hates our royal family and our country.

I cant really do much about the title being given to her. But now she wants people to refer to her as 'Meghan Sussex' according to her new netflix show.

Why?????

Why Meghan do you want you and your family to have a surname of a place you have barely ever been to, know nothing about, and which is located in a country you dislike and will never return to?

Can't you call yourself Meghan California instead? You can call yourself anything informally, and if you want to change your name formally, there is probably a way that you and Harry and the kids could adopt 'California' as your new surname.

Why oh why take/steal our home county as your new name. I get the 'duchess of Sussex' title is given to you, but you don't need to use it, and you definitely don't need to call yourself 'Meghan Sussex'.

(Some of) The people of Sussex do not want you to have our name

If you want our name then come visit. Spend time here. Visit the locals, buy OUR jam, invest in OUR schools, donate money to local charities, show interest in the place you have adopted as yours. Visit us regularly. Learn about the culture, the people, the place.

AIBU for thinking Meghan should make the effort to get to know Sussex if she now wants to be called 'Meghan Sussex'? If she doesn't want anything to do with us and will never come here again, she shouldn't call herself 'Meghan Sussex'.

OP posts:
Coffeeishot · 06/03/2025 19:12

TheLimeSwan · 06/03/2025 19:09

You're right. It's "Earl of Inverness" I'm thinking of. Same applies in the rest of my comment, though.

He doesn't have any titles now apart from Prince if you are going to rant at least do a bit of fact checking.

TheLimeSwan · 06/03/2025 19:18

Coffeeishot · 06/03/2025 16:59

Maybe if you "Started" on Prince Andrew your thread would have gone your way there would be no disagreement about him, but let's just have a go at a woman just living her life, that hasn't actually hurt anybody and likely not a predator.

Great point. I see far more venom aimed at Harry and Megan, than Andrew.
Which, even if everything they say is true about Megan, would still be minuscule compared to what Andrew's done. If it's to do with her high opinion of herself - we're talking about the royal family. They believe they're born superior to the rest of us. So pot-kettle, there.

Which is what leads me to believe it's a lot to do with her ethnicity. What else is there to justify the intensity of their hatred, and obsession? I say this as someone who generally doesn't give a second thought to Megan. She's just a typical celebrity to me. I don't find them interesting. But the harassment and abuse has made me feel sorry for her. And also respect her and her husband for their resilience.

HausofHolbein · 06/03/2025 19:28

What a hate-filled, spiteful, racist stance to hold. Utterly pathetic.

TrixieFatell · 06/03/2025 19:30

At least you dont live in York. I imagine there are quite a few people from Wales who aren't enamoured with Wills and Kate.

Doughnut89 · 06/03/2025 19:57

Comparisonisthethiefofjoy11 · 06/03/2025 15:55

Op I completely agree with you. Markle is a nasty bully (as written and confirmed in the media), she has had numerous confirmed reports of her being difficult and hard to work/deal with, she's a compulsive liar and cannot even seem to sell jam without rebranding before she's sold one jar of it! She has no business sense whatsoever (multiple failed deals) and she is boring as hell to watch on anything i have seen her in (my personal opinion 🤭)

She went her whole life identifying as Caucasian, it was even on her acting resume that she was Caucasian. She only became black when it suited her and fit her race card narrative. She's clinging on to those titles with a cast iron grip. I bet she couldn't identify Sussex on a map to save her life.

Mumsnet is an odd platform where it's still on Meghan Markles side for some reason. The wider world sees through her.

Sorry I just have to jump back in on these comments. Hollywood has a long history of rcism (I’m not sure what words get flagged by mumsnet) and even today Hollywood are guilty of colourism where even with roles meant for BIPOC, they will cast lighter skinned actors over darker skinned. So to state that she claimed to be Caucasian (which I don’t believe has been factually verified at all) I find this incredibly problematic and ignorant to the nuanced systemic rcism in Hollywood.
Yes I’ve already commented in this thread saying how I think it’s really funny that she wants to be be known as Meghan Sussex when that is not their surname (for everyone commenting but Will is Will Wales - he is not 🙄). And given the fact that she was a producer on the show and had editing approval she could have asked for that clip to be cut or re-filmed, the fact that it stayed in (and was possibly pre planned) is a very clear decision on her behalf to tell the world that she now wants to be known as Meghan Sussex (which I don’t think will stick). As I previously mentioned it is purely a branding decision.

However any mention of her ethnicity or posts stating she “claimed” to be Caucasian are not only irrelevant to this thread they are also incredibly offensive

Careertimenow · 06/03/2025 20:08

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 17:03

There is something about publically dissing your family that I just can't tolerate. It's not that harry and Meghan's family's are wonderful. I'm sure that's far from the truth but it's not ok to public ally air the laundry. I don't know where that value comes from or why I hold it so much, but I do.

My parents have done some terrible terrible things, but I'd never tell the whole world about it. My siblings and I have had arguments, but I'd never tell the world, write a book and public ally criticise them knowing they'd have no right of reply. I struggle to understand how someone could do this.

The royal families history is printed in history books wtf are you talking about? Does it outrage you that much that it's a Biracial woman profiting from her experience with the Royal Family.

Doughnut89 · 06/03/2025 20:11

ItTook9Years · 06/03/2025 17:16

If Wales (an actual country) has to put up with Charles and then William when we know the real prince of wales is Michael Sheen, then you can surely cope with someone thousands of miles away using it as a name. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Michael Sheen is the peoples prince. God bless that lovely man who just wrote off £1m worth of debt for complete strangers 🙏

TheKeatingFive · 06/03/2025 20:12

She went her whole life identifying as Caucasian, it was even on her acting resume that she was Caucasian.

Do people not understand what actors jobs are? Clearly not. 🤦‍♀️

Her resume stated that she could play a Caucasian character, not that she 'identified' as such. The entire point of being an actor is that you play characters that you aren't in real life.

Coffeeishot · 06/03/2025 20:16

Doughnut89 · 06/03/2025 20:11

Michael Sheen is the peoples prince. God bless that lovely man who just wrote off £1m worth of debt for complete strangers 🙏

I read that he really loves Port Talbot good for him.

Serpentstooth · 06/03/2025 20:19

Hurrah for King Michael Sheen of Wales, a good man and a great one. Long may he live. But by OP's reckoning, he surely should live in the expensive SW London suburb with which he shares his surname rather than grubby old Port Talbot?

Genevieva · 06/03/2025 20:22

floopsycat · 06/03/2025 13:32

What is Sussex culture? I'm from there and can't think of many distinguishing features from the rest of the south England counties.

Apparently the Sussex dialect has more words for different types of mud than any other language. 😊

motorcycle100 · 06/03/2025 20:22

FamiChiki · 06/03/2025 13:33

God yeah, it sounds like a really accepting, tolerant and pleasant place to visit, I'm sure she'll get a second home there soon. Lol

😂
Seriously OP, the world is going to shit and you're still on the hate Meg bus? A woman who as you say never sets foot in the UK, yet lives rent free in your soul...Free yourself...

ItTook9Years · 06/03/2025 20:23

Doughnut89 · 06/03/2025 20:11

Michael Sheen is the peoples prince. God bless that lovely man who just wrote off £1m worth of debt for complete strangers 🙏

I honestly think we should put him in charge of everything.

Tomatotater · 06/03/2025 20:26

skullbabe · 06/03/2025 17:12

I am sure she has experienced racism at times in her life. My post was clumsy. I was referring to the racism she claims to have experienced from the royal family that made her feel suicidal, which is what was being posted about at the time and I was responding to. That is what I was doubting. I don't think Kate is racist. I don't think discussing the colour of Archie's skin is racist. But if I'm wrong then like I say, that is awful.

Firstly, Meghan never said that racism from the royal family made her feel suicidal—she said it was the relentless abuse from the press, combined with the lack of support from the institution, that pushed her to that point. If you're going to question her claims, at least get them right.

You’re free to believe whatever you like about Kate and whether you think that discussing the colour of Archie's skin was racist. But the fact remains that many people of colour do find it racist, and here’s why: discussing skin colour isn’t inherently racist, but context and intent matter. The issue wasn’t just that Archie’s skin tone was mentioned—it was that it was framed as a concern. That suggests there was something negative or undesirable about the possibility of him being darker-skinned, which is a textbook example of racial bias.

No royal baby’s skin colour had ever been questioned like this before, so why did it suddenly become a topic of discussion with Meghan’s child? That’s why so many people of colour found it troubling. Instead of dismissing it, a more meaningful response would have been to acknowledge the harm, reflect, and learn from it.

Instead, what we’ve seen is a wave of gaslighting, downplaying, and minimising the experiences of other people of colour—many of whom, strangely enough, also read these threads and recognize these dynamics all too well. And yet, all of this continues to miss the larger issue. By bending over backwards to protect an institution that has actively exempted itself from the Race Relations Act and other equalities legislation, people have shown that they’re far more invested in defending the monarchy than in addressing the harm that was done. Because, of course, protecting the institution’s image matters more than confronting its 'dirty laundry'.

Also, discussing what a baby will look like with the parents present ( especially the one of a different race) is one thing- talking about it behind their back is clearly something different.

motorcycle100 · 06/03/2025 20:33

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 16:25

Eh?

I never said anything about people's experiences of racism beyond saying that some of what Meghan said about the racism and suicidal ideation she said she experienced, I have doubts about. I didn't say anything about anyone else's experiences of suicidal ideation or racism. That's just untrue.

I am allowed to disbelieve some of what Meghan has said, especially since she is known to play the victim and tell blatant lies.

Of course, any racism she has experienced is wrong and awful. However, I believe at the start most of the country and the royals welcomed her and were pleased for her and harry. Millions tuned on to watch the wedding. They had a lot of aupport. Only when her (and his) behaviour started to turn unpleasant did the public opinion on her change (as also happend in USA).

, any racism she has experienced is wrong and awful. However,

Said every single Meghan hater on the planet😂

Spirallingdownwards · 06/03/2025 20:40

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:36

It matters to me because I like Sussex! And I like the UK (usually 🙂) and it pisses me off that someone who hates us, who has buggered off and stuck two fingers up the queen and royal traditions, has declared to the world how much the name 'sussex' means to her. I mean, wtf?

She doesn't hate us though. It seems you are just another Meghan hater for no plausible reason.

The Cambridges use the Cambridge surname for their kids. They don't live in Cambridge either. Do you have an issue with that or is your vitriole reserved for your irrational hatred of Meghan Sussex?

Panterusblackish · 06/03/2025 20:52

Crikey I don't think I've seen such an unhinged OP since rapist dolphins

Gardenservant · 06/03/2025 21:02

If you believe this you are extremely naive. How do you explain how she set up the Oprah conversation (not an interview as it had all been rehearsed) even before her wedding. She never had any intention of staying in UK and spun this story of being suicidal to get sympathy, while making the lives of those who served her very difficult.

TooBigForMyBoots · 06/03/2025 21:07

OMG @CaliforniaNotSussex, get a grip.🤣🤣🤣

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/03/2025 21:44

Genevieva · Today 20:22

floopsycat · Today 13:32
What is Sussex culture? I'm from there and can't think of many distinguishing features from the rest of the south England counties.
**
Apparently the Sussex dialect has more words for different types of mud than any other language. 😊

Probably because some of its residents clearly take great satisfaction in dragging people they have never met and are never likely to through it.

dudsville · 06/03/2025 21:51

She got married. Lots of women change their name when they marry. Absolutely none of the royal family represent me, and I don't think the concept of royalty should exist, but M&H are my favorite royals for branching out and living their best lives.I don't follow any famous personalities, and I don't hate on folks that don't interfere with mine.

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/03/2025 22:03

I never understood why she couldn't just ignore the tabloids. Who gives a shit what they print?

That minor royal who wore the blackamoor brooch to a luncheon was reprehensible but Charles seemed quite welcoming to Meghan. Meghan shot herself in the foot repeatedly with William and Kate; their wariness of her common, crass behaviour isn't "racism."

Never2many · 06/03/2025 22:05

she’s just not a nice person. well it takes one to know one i suppose.

Fact is, anyone can be made to look not a nice person if that’s what the media want.

Just look at Kate. She was out of the public eye for a few months and the bile that was spilled about her in the media and all over social media was an absolute disgrace. If if you read enough of it you could be led to think that Kate was the devil incarnate. until she was forced to make a public statement that she’d been diagnosed with cancer. At which point she became the nation’s brave hero. Although many had already bought into the negativity and carried on accusing Kate of lying, of deceiving, of daring to claim cancer status when she, according to them, didn’t have cancer.

The lengths people go to to hate Meggan don’t need to be about racism. Nobody here knows the woman, so to go to such lengths says far more about the person you are than the person she is. And not in a good way.

LakieLady · 06/03/2025 22:09

floopsycat · 06/03/2025 13:32

What is Sussex culture? I'm from there and can't think of many distinguishing features from the rest of the south England counties.

Torchlit processions and blowing up effigies of the pope on Nov 5th?

LakieLady · 06/03/2025 22:11

redgingerbread · 06/03/2025 13:33

Burning effigies seems to be popular there

Point of order: the effigies aren't burned, they're blown up in spectacular pyrotechnic displays!