To not know how to thank my neighbour?

[blindknot]

Posting for traffic, shamelessly....sorry.

My lovely neighbour is an Indian man with three daughters. He's been such an amazing help to me over the last year as I have two babies and also primary age children.
He will take my 9 year old with him on the school run as he's dropping his own daughter off. This has saved me an enormous amount of time and aggro, getting two babies fed and ready to travel is hard work!

How can I thank him properly? I want to buy him a gift but as I know nothing really about their culture I don't want to get it wrong. What would you do to show appreciation?

A plant for the garden? He's a bloody star!

He's the loveliest man. He said when I first asked him, 'yah, is no problem. You is neighbour, I help' and shook my hand.

Heart felt thank you letter, sweets for his children (vegan is safest) are a traditional Indian gift.

But what would likely mean most is hospitality so have him and his wife and the family round. Even if it's just for a cuppa one weekend but ideally for a meal.

Obviously everyone is different but that would usually mean a lot.

This is such a nice post. Love your neighbour what a good guy 😊

I second the meal suggestion. Sharing a meal is socially such a nice thing to do.

I wouldn't know where to start with that! When he opens his front door the smell from inside is beautiful. I said to him tonight 'who is the cook? That smells divine!' He got his daughter to translate and said his wife is working in a factory so he's made dinner. I can't very well invite them over for lasagne, I'd die at my lack of culinary skill. 😂

I think maybe gifts for his girls might be the way. He's clearly a very doting father, working nights and running his kids around...and mine too.

Do you know where they shop ? If it’s a local big supermarket could you give them a gift card to spend otherwise yeah something for the children would be a lovely gesture .

I don't, but I could start paying attention! Yes, maybe a gift card is a great idea. 🤔

Does anyone know how gift giving will go down? Is it normal and socially acceptable? I don't want them to feel like I'm effectively 'buying' their service or make them feel like we have to get in to a gift giving cycle.

It's heartwarming to hear a "good neighbour" story. We see so many posts on here about batshit and anti-social neighbours.

I think a plant for the garden would be lovely, or maybe something like an M&S voucher so they can treat themselves or their children to anything they fancy.

I like a plant for the garden idea and a book for his daughters maybe .

Yes, maybe a beautiful plant (although they rent so I don't know if that would mean as much), maybe a voucher, maybe....God knows.

It's a minefield because I don't know what they would like, whether it's the social norm, whether I will make them feel bad and like we have to keep exchanging gifts? 🤷‍♀️

I just want to express my gratitude beyond 'ahhh, thank you so so much! You're a legend!'

Invite them in for a meal.

This has really touched me. How lovely.

I'd be contacting DIY SOS and Nick Knowles and telling them to do an amazing renovation to help them and make life so sweet for them! That is half in gest, but seriously, a heartfelt letter, Indian sweets and maybe a nice meal cooked would be v appreciated ❤️

If they're keen cooks then some nice knives or chopping board would be well received.

This is genius! Yes....your food smells so amazing, here's a little something to help you make even more amazing flavours. 🤔 I think this is the answer!

Will they appreciate a gift in return for a neighbourly favour? Is that okay?

Just to say, you need to find out if they are Moslem or Hindu... It is currently Ramadan, so food might be a little off point when they are fasting during daylight hours.

I know it is six weeks away, but what about plants and/or seeds for him and his wife at Easter and Easter eggs for his children?

If you can get yourself to a shop that does Indian spices, you could make a little hamper. Most of the bigger cities will have areas where there are more native shops.

You could buy him a nice potted rose, there is one named Thank You.

Was just going to warn about Ramadan - how about a gift card for a local attraction for the family ?.

The weather is getting better invite them round for a traditional afternoon tea and a play date in the garden.

I think a gift card is a terrible idea. It’s like giving him cash. A monetary payment for kindness is not is it tasteless and rather superior. Especially for a supermarket. Do you think they can’t afford food because that’s what that would look like.

Inviting them in for a meal is much more in the spirit of the kindness he has shown you. Just because they cook well doesn’t mean they cook everything well. They might love a homemade lasagne. They sound lovely and like they would appreciate the gesture more than cash that has limitations on where it can be spent ( voucher)

I think a small nice pot plant will be best, it's a kind gesture but not too specific

Don't give them a gift card - it may go down badly.

A plant and some nice sweets or biscuits would be safest.

Rosebush for garden. One with a lovely scent.

Don’t do gift card- too like giving money. I’d be offended someonenoffering me money for doing them favours.

how about returning favours?

• cook a meal…lasagne is fine…or even bought in…for a busy working family itmosmlovelybto not have to prepare a tea one night. Nowt fancy. Do a pud for kids too.
• offer babysitting…or childminding…I know you’ve got kids, but then just having someone who can help in a tight spot for a short time.
• offer any other skill you do have
• offer them emergency lifts
• buy some flowers or a plant as others have said

just be a good neighbour back. you may be limited now what you can do, but as kids get older you’ll have more flexibility. Thank them, say to give you a shout if there’s anything they could use your help with.

If they are Indian then more likely to be Hindu. And food can be kept for Iftar too.

But a local attraction is a lovely idea. Especially with kids.