To not know how to thank my neighbour?

[blindknot]

Posting for traffic, shamelessly....sorry.

My lovely neighbour is an Indian man with three daughters. He's been such an amazing help to me over the last year as I have two babies and also primary age children.
He will take my 9 year old with him on the school run as he's dropping his own daughter off. This has saved me an enormous amount of time and aggro, getting two babies fed and ready to travel is hard work!

How can I thank him properly? I want to buy him a gift but as I know nothing really about their culture I don't want to get it wrong. What would you do to show appreciation?

Also a nice idea

Don't do cash or a voucher!!! That would be quite insulting according to my Indian friend.

She has always advised others to do vegan sweets.

Don't do spices, they will likely have their own preferred brands.

I would do a plant for him and sweets for the girls.

You could do an indoor plant like an orchid in a nice pot.
I got one for my MIL and it has thrived and looks gorgeous year round.

This is an appropriate gesture that can't go wrong.

It feels like kindness and friendship rather than payment.

It also doesn't feel overwhelming or too much, in a way they will be stressing about then reciprocating.

Plant, sweets and a handwritten note or card explaining why you are giving them :)

Not a gift card - just something normal like flowers/plant, chocolates, biscuit box - vegetarian ideally and a little note to say thank you and how much you appreciate the help.

great to have wonderful neighbours like this!

Definitely not a gift voucher, spices or knives.

Vegan sweets for the children and a plant or flowers in a vase or bag (so no faff) would be perfect. Or bake a cake.

A large plant/tree in a tub could be a solution, particularly as they rent. As your neighbour is a keen cook, a culinary plant may be a good call such as a bay tree or a pomegranate tree
https://www.notonthehighstreet.com/thegluttonousgardener/product/pomegranate-tree-gift?

I wouldn't buy knives, good knives are really expensive and they may be embarrassed by your extravagance. Also good cooks have personal preferences re knives. I would invite them for a meal (English). Just check if they are vegetarian or vegan of course.

Indian over here. Agree with previous posters, is he Indian Muslim, Sikh or Hindi? I wouldn't cook a meal, all Indian cultures are iffy about cross contamination - ie, Muslims don't eat pork, some Hindus don't eat garlic or onions. I would appreciate a nice box of chocolates (alcohol free to be on the safe side incase they are Muslims) or I love food hampers (nice crisps, posh bottle of non alcoholic drink, sweets, chutneys, cheese) etc. And, he wouldn't be put out at all - all Indians are big on the gifting culture.

Thank you!

I'm guessing that they are Hindi? I don't know because I'm absolutely fucking clueless on these matters, but there isn't any Sikh turban wearing, and they do celebrate Christmas, with decorations on the house at least.

What a lovely thread. It's always a joy when you meet lovely, warm, generous people. We're lucky in that my teenage DC mentor was so like this. So i take biscuits/ ice creams into the workplace. I always ask about the family. And they have a 2nd job because they so support their family. So I support that business too. It's out of my way, but I don't mind, and recommend them too.

Can I build them a hamper? With a few vegan chocs, vegan artisan stuff, crackers, popcorn etc? Would that be ok? And a bottle of Prosecco or something? Would they like that?

I've no idea why I'm stressing so much about this matter! I just want to show my gratitude and not fuck it up.

Get them round for an afternoon tea?

I don't think they would agree. When they first moved in they didn't have a car for a year and I offered to drive their daughter to school with mine. They politely declined.

I think they have really pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and never asked for any help...but will gladly offer it.

Bake a cake....

Food is off the table. I don't think I can match their palette and I don't know what they can and can't eat!

I'm going to build them a vegan hamper of stuff for the kids and innocuous nibbles that cannot offend. Thanks everyone. Xx

Sounds lovely, lose the Prosecco though!

Yes, And if they're as nice as you say, start expecting food deliveries over the fence!!

I’d avoid alcohol and go for a nice bottle of something else

Right, you lot (combined) are full of good ideas.
But still....fuck knows what to do. 😂 Maybe I'll get the girls some Easter eggs (is that ok?)
Mum some beautiful exotic plant (I grow them from seed)
And dad....a box of nice cigars? He loves a smoke.

Indian here! I think a self built hamper is a great idea. You could include traditional British fare that they may not have tasted before and it’s also more personal than random gifts because the issue then is how much should you spend? The Indian/Pakisatni etc,culture (regardless of whether they’re Muslim or Hindu) are big on gifting food items so I’d do this. It’s something they can all experience as a family as well. Also hate to say it but I agree with the other Indian person who said generally our culture doesn’t like home made offerings because of potential cross contamination if they do have strict diets. Therefore when you put your hamper together just make sure it’s vegetarian and everything is non alcoholic with no animal gelatin either. Many of us do eat meat and drink alcohol quite voraciously lol but some don’t so better to err on the side of caution. Hope this helps but I know if my parents received something like this they’d loved it! Also re the plant, your neighbour might be different but generally my relatives don’t care for gardening etc, so again I think the hamper will be just fine! If the gentleman continues dropping your daughter off maybe it’s something you could do annually like at Xmas or so 😊

Nah. Get yourself to a garden centre, grab a hamper box, put in a large pack of shortbread, a coupe of bottles of bottlegreen juices, 2 chutneys, a box of crackers and 3 assorted bags of candy kittens

I wouldn’t do food. Or cigars. I’d just do a lovely plant. The orchid suggestion was lovely.

Many of the Indian people I know are Christian. Just give something nice, sweet and vegetarian to be on the safe side and perhaps some flowers or a plant. It really is the thought that counts.

@CharityShopMensGlasses Have you seen this man gardening before? don't mean to sound like a wet blanket but also being an ethnic minority i know Brits give plants as gifts, and they're treasured items, but frankly if you gave a plant to someone from my home country they wouldn't know what to do with it, although i myself love plants. I actually think the idea of inviting them in for meal is more the sort of thing someone from the Asian community would appreciate. A lot of ethnic cultures consider opening your doors to them as the ultimate in saying, 'You are our friend now, welcome in' whereas i know British culture is very different. I could be wrong and he might love gardening but just thought i'd throw that in.

Although you may think he enjoys a smoke, is he actually a cigar smoker ?