To not know how to thank my neighbour?

[blindknot]

Posting for traffic, shamelessly....sorry.

My lovely neighbour is an Indian man with three daughters. He's been such an amazing help to me over the last year as I have two babies and also primary age children.
He will take my 9 year old with him on the school run as he's dropping his own daughter off. This has saved me an enormous amount of time and aggro, getting two babies fed and ready to travel is hard work!

How can I thank him properly? I want to buy him a gift but as I know nothing really about their culture I don't want to get it wrong. What would you do to show appreciation?

Bloody hell. You went from nice to nasty in just a few clicks!
You wrote in broken English.. there was absolutely no need for that!!

If you go for cigars - aren’t they a bit like fine wines and different people have very strong preferences ?

Do you know the brand he likes ?

.

@JayJayEl Why? It's what he said. And it was the loveliest thing, with a handshake.
Do I pretend that interaction didn't happen, repair his English? Which is much better than any foreign language I speak.

Stop being so perpetually offended. I like my neighbour. I don't give a fuck what colour his skin is! 🙄

Here we go again, mumsnet piling on the OP, who is trying to return a good deed,and people are having a go. She probably mentioned he's Indian because it's relevant when wanting to buy a gift!! . Piss off with your race bollocks, it's tiresome. OP, your neighbour and his family sound lovely.

Don't try to second-guess his culture. Give him something from your own culture. Can you bake? Even a simple sponge-cake. A home-made cake, especially if iced and decorated by your children, is a lovely neighbourly gift.

@blindknot
Please don't give knives or anything that was originally made of iron. It is not done in Indian culture.

Had you been speaking to a neighbour with a strong Scottish accent would you write their comments phonetically/perfectly grammatically the same as they said it?

No, of course you bloody wouldn't.

You have got to be taking the piss !!!

A house plant and a sincere letter saying how much difference he has made to your life.

Personally I think giving vouchers or knives is odd. Just give what you'd give to anyone living next door and does you a favour - you don't have to try to get something that is from someone's culture (especially if you're unsure what it is). Just give them a box of chocolates or a bunch of flowers, or a nice potted plant, as you would to anybody you want to thank.

I actually agree with the pp who said that being invited home might be the most meaningful and most appreciated. I'm originally from India and a lot of my indian and other friends who have not grown up in the uk are bemused that no matter how friendly their British acquaintances are, how often they have invited them to their home or how close they are at work or wherever, very rarely do we get invited to their houses. Not even for a cup of tea. (Myself, I can't complain because I'm so disorganised I rarely manage to formally invite anyone to our house ). It can sometimes feel as if you are kept at an arm's length. Not completely accepted or considered as one of their own. Not saying this is the case but it's something many first generation immigrants wonder about and think is odd especially as in our culture being hospitable is so ingrained that you can't reakky say bye to someone without inviting rhem home first. So being invited home is special and seen as a real gesture of friendship. Don't worry about the food. Honestly, I'd go for quantity and variety and don't worry too much if they will find it as tasty as their own food. They will appreciate the effort.

Op you sound lovely and thoughtful but I did find it a bit off to quote him in broken English. Even if his English is broken and you quoted verbatim it just perpetuates negative stereotypes.

I don't seen why him being Indian is relevant to buying him a gift though? For buying anyone you don't know well a gift you need to consider if they are vegan, vegetarian, drink alcohol etc. I eally dont think country of origin comes into it. I'm also struggling to think where the OP lives that she's not had at least a level of acquaintance with people born in India before now?

I missed the deleted posts, but I’m really surprised to see you defending quoting him in broken English. I’m not trying to be a ‘pile on’ as a PP said, but it was crass and it would have been more graceful to acknowledge that.

Also, @blindknot - this question still stands...

Maybe but his girls some pretty Easter eggs.

*buy

Second generation immigrant here who absolutely agrees that starting small with Easter eggs for the daughters is a good way to get started.

And how the ultimate sign of acceptance is being invited into the home. Just look at how many objections are put in the way, too disorganised, can't cook etc etc etc. being invited into and given a cup of tea and a biscuit would mean a lot.

It would build your friendship. When the daughters are comfortable in your company you could offer to babysit them.

A lovely way forward between two neighbours.

I like these suggestions - just being a reciprocal good neighbour is worth more than rubies! Ask if there is anything you can do to help them out. Offering a play date/occasional babysitting might be welcome.

Was walking past Flying Tiger the other day, they have lots of little bits in there that are spring rather than Easter themed, lots of craft things for instance, if you have one near you you could maybe find some cute stuff for the children,

they are online as well I think

I've been thinking about this, I have a lovely Muslim friend and she was delighted when I bought her some really nice Saffron (it can be quite pricey)