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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hostile neighbour regarding fencing

118 replies

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:26

Sorry but it's a bit of a long one.

During the severe storms we had back in December our fence was blown down. We have started to gather quotes for a new fence. This is where the problem started. We had a contractor out this evening for a quote to which our neighbour shouted at us and him that we are not to step foot on his property. We have been nothing but good neighbours to him and have looked out for him over the last four years we have lived here as he is elderly and alone. He then went into his back garden and started blaming us for the fence falling down back in December and apparently we have been throwing weed killer into his garden and allowing others to jump over the fence into his garden. He then started shouting and swearing at us to say how dare we even consider getting the fence fixed and he will do it in his own time when he is ready despite us now being unable to allow our dog out into the garden for nearly 3
Months now due to the risks of him escaping. The whole argument got a bit heated as he was blaming us for the fence falling down in the wind. So I think my whole question here is AIBU for being so upset by the way he acted over wanting to have a fence that is secure in our garden. We are trying to determine where the boundary line is. If anyone could help that would be fantastic too. In context the fence is on our front door line if that makes sense and the good side faces us but it was put up before we moved in. Any responses would be amazing and thank you if you are still hear reading this

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 05/03/2025 19:27

Do you think height be suffering from alzheimers? He sounds very strange.

Original poster
RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:29

We have had our concerns about him over the years. We once had to call the police as he had locked himself in his home after falling out with another neighbour across the road

OP posts:
HalfTermHoliday · 05/03/2025 19:29

So hang on, do you actually know who owns the fence and is responsible for maintenance? It's usually marked on the deeds to the house.

What a strange reaction from him though ☹️ He has clearly got the wrong end of the stick along the way but there is no need to be aggressive.

MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:30

Sounds as if he needs some help, he could be ill as op states

Original poster
RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:30

There is no T line on the boundary line at all it just shows our boundary as a whole

OP posts:
InfoSecInTheCity · 05/03/2025 19:31

My understanding is that general rule is that the owner of the fence gets the posts on their boundary so if you've got the good side, it may be that he owns the fence. You can still put up your own alongside where his would sit but it needs to be completely within your boundary.

Punishmentforthis · 05/03/2025 19:32

If the good side is on your side, I would assume that your neighbour owns the fence

MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:32

The deeds will mark with a T which side the fence belongs to, download a copy from online for £7

as for the neighbour, does he have family you could contact about his health. People jumping over the fence is really sounding like he isn’t well

HalfTermHoliday · 05/03/2025 19:32

MN loves a diagram op if you have time to oblige..?

Original poster
RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:32

MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:30

Sounds as if he needs some help, he could be ill as op states

We have thought this for a while he has said to us on a few occasions that he thinks that people are breaking into his garden and smashing things up. He fell out with another neighbour over a car battery charger and this led to him barricading himself in the house for two weeks

OP posts:
Original poster
RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:33

This is what happened the first time but there are more panels down since having more storms through December

Hostile neighbour regarding fencing
OP posts:
MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:34

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:32

We have thought this for a while he has said to us on a few occasions that he thinks that people are breaking into his garden and smashing things up. He fell out with another neighbour over a car battery charger and this led to him barricading himself in the house for two weeks

Show quote history

Might be worth contacting Your councils social services depart To see if they can offer him some help?

Original poster
RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:35

I don't think he has much family left. I think he has a cousin somewhere but would have no idea on how to contact them

OP posts:
Original poster
RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:36

He was shouting at us insisting that we have to tell him before we speak to anyone about the fence

OP posts:
AcquadiP · 05/03/2025 19:39

The good side (without posts) is on your side so that's his fence.

ShodAndShadySenators · 05/03/2025 19:40

HalfTermHoliday · 05/03/2025 19:29

So hang on, do you actually know who owns the fence and is responsible for maintenance? It's usually marked on the deeds to the house.

What a strange reaction from him though ☹️ He has clearly got the wrong end of the stick along the way but there is no need to be aggressive.

It doesn't matter who owns the current fence or who is responsible for maintaining the boundary. OP can put a fence up if she wants to, ensuring that it is on her land and not on the NDN's. He might object to that, and if he is deteriorating mentally - and it sounds like he is - then he probably will. But the important thing is to get a fence up to keep OP's dog safely contained in the garden.

It sounds a really tricky situation and I'd want to alert any relatives of the neighbour's to his plight, if there are any.

FWIW not all house deeds do show boundary responsibilities. Ours don't

Original poster
RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:40

AcquadiP · 05/03/2025 19:39

The good side (without posts) is on your side so that's his fence.

So we would have to just leave it like that until he decides to do anything about it? Sorry this is a whole new world for us this is our first house

OP posts:
MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:41

Our council have a service called MASH to report people that you have concerns - not all councils call the department by that name though

Walkden · 05/03/2025 19:41

I think the T on the boundary line is not true for all properties. There are no such marking on my deed for example.

Similarly, the convention about the good side facing neighbours is just that. My neighbours replaced the fence on one side and the good side faces their garden, which is fair enough as they paid for it.

I replaced the other side as it needed doing and the good side faces my garden

Unless you know who paid for the original fence you might have to build your own next to the original one.

Getitwright · 05/03/2025 19:41

Looking at the state of his garden, and the way he is interacting/behaving, I would say the poor chap has MH issues. I would also suggest your deeds will indicate which boundary is yours, and which is your neighbours. If it’s fenced like this all the way down, no hedges, no plants, then it might be possible for a fencer to do all the work from your side, with little need to be on his turf, so to speak. All depends what sort of fencing you put in.

MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:41

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:40

So we would have to just leave it like that until he decides to do anything about it? Sorry this is a whole new world for us this is our first house

Show quote history

You can put your own fence up, but it has to be inside the boundary

AquaPeer · 05/03/2025 19:42

The “good side” and “left side are myths

my deeds also don’t have T marks, seems quite a common error. You could get his deeds and see if they’re marked on his, but if your house is wrong they might all be

Basically it’ll come down to whoever wants to pay for it. I would just do it because he sounds so unstable anyway, as long as you’re not asking him for money he’ll just have to suck it up

Punishmentforthis · 05/03/2025 19:43

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:40

So we would have to just leave it like that until he decides to do anything about it? Sorry this is a whole new world for us this is our first house

Show quote history

You could put your own fence up on your property and leave his fence in place but it would be better if you could reason with him. Maybe he would be happy if you offered to pay to replace the fence if you ask his permission

Original poster
RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:44

My husband has said we can just put his fence back into his property and just build one but build it further into our land. I'm just so upset that he decided to react like that when we have showed him nothing but kindness as we were made aware of a few of the previous residents and the issues that were had then (we found used needles hidden away in the garden and house when we moved in)

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 05/03/2025 19:44

It's not true that if you have the posts it's your fence. I have 2 good sides and we share costs with the neighbour as the deeds don't show that a particular side is responsible for the upkeep.

You could put your own up just in front of the old one. Or try and speak to him about next steps