Hostile neighbour regarding fencing

[RubyRoo29]

Sorry but it's a bit of a long one.

During the severe storms we had back in December our fence was blown down. We have started to gather quotes for a new fence. This is where the problem started. We had a contractor out this evening for a quote to which our neighbour shouted at us and him that we are not to step foot on his property. We have been nothing but good neighbours to him and have looked out for him over the last four years we have lived here as he is elderly and alone. He then went into his back garden and started blaming us for the fence falling down back in December and apparently we have been throwing weed killer into his garden and allowing others to jump over the fence into his garden. He then started shouting and swearing at us to say how dare we even consider getting the fence fixed and he will do it in his own time when he is ready despite us now being unable to allow our dog out into the garden for nearly 3
Months now due to the risks of him escaping. The whole argument got a bit heated as he was blaming us for the fence falling down in the wind. So I think my whole question here is AIBU for being so upset by the way he acted over wanting to have a fence that is secure in our garden. We are trying to determine where the boundary line is. If anyone could help that would be fantastic too. In context the fence is on our front door line if that makes sense and the good side faces us but it was put up before we moved in. Any responses would be amazing and thank you if you are still hear reading this

What are the actual panels attached to, what's attached to your wall.

I think it's attached to some part of the post on our wall. Think it was nailed into the wall

@MissMoneyFairy

I am baffled by all the "good side" talk. Our panels are attached to either side of the fence posts! It is on the deeds as shared.

Anyway; don't take it personally. In his head in that moment you were either a completely separate faceless "neighbour" entity, or he knew who you were but has forgotten previous contact you have had.

Can you not just pick it up and screw it back in place? I had to do that with a property we were renting and it survived nicely

Sounds like mental health issues. You’re wasting your time thinking about how good you were to him it makes no difference.

I was very kind to an old neighbour who had issues but when covid came it tipped her over the edge and she ran at me with a stick when I called to see if she was ok.

I kept texting her and after a few weeks she texted me her shopping list and ordered me to leave outside her garden wall.

Mental health issues can go up and down just remind yourself of this and be pleasant to him. He must be very scared.

Put something up on your side to keep your dog in.

We have just been through something very similar and the whole “good side of the fence / posts” thing is not true. It’s a myth. If there is nothing on the deeds to say who owns the fence / boundary then you have to assume it’s a shared boundary and share the costs.

I'd try this as it's fallen onto your property, you can't just leave it there, it doesn't look like it's attached to anything either side, if you can't put a new panel,up,you could get a cheap,tarpaulin or willow and attach it to the posts, is there anything to attach it to atmthe wall on your house.

Ive always heard that it is etiquette to give your neighbour the good side of a new fence but I don't know how that started.
Anyway, most fence companies will say that, in reality, whoever is paying for the fence usually insists on the good side.
I would just ask your fence company if there is any way they can put it up without going on your neighbours property.

Maybe he’s scared that you want him to pay half the cost and he can’t afford to . Maybe tell him you will bear the cost and he’ll cooperate with you .

It does look like the fence is the neighbour's.

My late husband worked on a country estate for a while and the mantra was "The good side goes towards the laird." The posts are supposed to be on the owner's side, though many do it the other way round nowadays.

This isn’t necessarily true. The owner can have whichever side facing them that they want.

We went for the nice side because, hell, we’re paying for the damned thing so may as well have the prettier side.

That says it all about modern society. The convention used to be to give your neighbour the good side out of courtesy

Given the nature of neighbour, having given her the ugly side of the fence was the very least she deserved. She was the type to pop a child’s ball rather than return it.

She blamed us for the water running under the fence onto her garden in heavy rains. Her garden was a downhill from ours, and apparently gravity was our fault.

We had a party the day she moved out.

It 100% sounds like dementia. My Mum is lovely but she has new neighbours that have doubled the size of their house and keep parking right in front of her house and it sends her into a tizzy. We have tried to politely tell them that maybe they should park in front of their own home (bearing in mind, this is a village street that nobody parks on!) and they don't care. But it drives my Mum INSANE. She goes from a completely rational older woman to pacing the house, like a caged animal solely because the view from her living room is different.

IT's really small things that can cut!

Agree with all of this.

My understanding is that if you put up a fence you have the best side facing towards your garden. From what you said that fence was put up by the previous owner of your house, so it's yours. I think he has to allow you access on his property for maintenance purposes. Unfortunately you may have to involve a solicitor if he is behaving in this manner.

You can have whichever side you choose if you're paying for it but you don't have to have a fence, you don't have to allow your ndn onto your property.