Hostile neighbour regarding fencing

[RubyRoo29]

Sorry but it's a bit of a long one.

During the severe storms we had back in December our fence was blown down. We have started to gather quotes for a new fence. This is where the problem started. We had a contractor out this evening for a quote to which our neighbour shouted at us and him that we are not to step foot on his property. We have been nothing but good neighbours to him and have looked out for him over the last four years we have lived here as he is elderly and alone. He then went into his back garden and started blaming us for the fence falling down back in December and apparently we have been throwing weed killer into his garden and allowing others to jump over the fence into his garden. He then started shouting and swearing at us to say how dare we even consider getting the fence fixed and he will do it in his own time when he is ready despite us now being unable to allow our dog out into the garden for nearly 3
Months now due to the risks of him escaping. The whole argument got a bit heated as he was blaming us for the fence falling down in the wind. So I think my whole question here is AIBU for being so upset by the way he acted over wanting to have a fence that is secure in our garden. We are trying to determine where the boundary line is. If anyone could help that would be fantastic too. In context the fence is on our front door line if that makes sense and the good side faces us but it was put up before we moved in. Any responses would be amazing and thank you if you are still hear reading this

Not necessarily

Good luck op.

We have a similar problem with a nightmare elderly neighbour next door. I think she too has mental health issues. I did feel very sorry for her (and still do really, altho there’s a lot of frustration there too).

Her fence came down this winter. Her garden is a JUNGLE of brambles and nettles (to the point the council came and gutted it a few years ago due to a colony of rats!). They have put a charge on her house for the costs. She is a horder. The house is falling into a state of disrepair. The garden once again looks as it did before. She owns the house outright after inheriting it.

She has a huge tree which has grown into the fence line pushing it over and into our garden. Two panels have also come down in the wind and are completely rotted and need replacing. So even if we wanted to replace the fence at our own expense we can’t without removing the tree (quoted £1.5-2k due to its size and how close it is to both houses). There’s no way we can afford that.

The council just aren’t interested, despite saying in 2020 that they were concerned- the fire service visited and said due to the hoarding it was a health and safety issue. The lady from the council who came to check on the garden work said they were going to get involved with partially clearing the house because of h and s (boxes stacked floor to ceiling so if there was a fire she’d be stuck and it would go up like kindling).

But nothing has happened since. I’ve tried chasing it up multiple times, also explaining that the garden situation is as it was when they got involved previously. I was passed pillar to post, nothing happened. Last person I spoke to said that ultimately it’s up to the individual how they live their life. I think they’ve just run out of money.

We’re completely stuck. The council have basically shrugged their shoulders and said there’s nothing anyone can do.

As a temporary measure could you block it off with some pallets? That is what we have had to do. It looks awful but stops our dog wandering into her jungle.

I would put up a fence on your side of the boundary. He may be upset but you are entitled to maintain your own property. I had a similar problem but my elderly neighbour was just disinterested not angry. I did manage to contact her daughter who was fine with me replacing her mothers broken down fence

You don't actually have to speak to him to do something about the fence. You are entitled to enclose your garden, and the side of the fence panels isn't really a good indicator on who put it in or who it belongs to. It's fairly common for the fences not to be marked on the deeds, as I found out when my neighbour kicked off, and for home owners to be expected to negotiate it with neighbours.

Put something up on your side of the fence. You may lose use of a few inches of garden but he can't stop you from doing that, he can't claim you are damaging his property, you don't need to go onto his side to do it and he won't be entitled to a say in it. Personally I'd make that something an identical height closed fence, as he sounds potty enough to poison a hedge and you want the privacy, but you could go for a cheaper and easier option of a roll of mesh fencing and wooden posts. Going 3 months without securing your garden for your dog is bonkers.

Unfortunately if he has mental health decline, it’s not directed at you. Don’t take it personally

We've told him we'd like it removed off our property by the weekend if he is unwilling to let us deal with it if not we will place it back over ourselves. We've not asked him for a penny to deal with it as he has stated himself that he has no money to do it himself nor would we want him to put all that work in knowing he is so unwell

I would check with other neighbours which side they own - start with his neighbour the other side. You can go ahead and put up a fence on the boundary. I’d choose a contractor who will agree to do this from your side and not upset him any more than he is already.

I completely feel where you're coming from. We believe our neighbour also has hoarding issues as he will not let anyone into the property past the front door. It's just so unfortunate that it came to be like this tonight and I feel so disappointed that he felt like he needed to act like that to us

No, you can put up your own fence in front of his if you want to (your fence would be within your boundary). Alternatively, you could try and talk him round, explain you're willing to pay for some or all of it. His reactions do suggest he's suffering from some sort of mental decline so I don't know how far you'll get with that.

My first owned house had a stone wall separating my garden from the garden next door. The wall, which belonged to them, was in a bad state of repair but they were unwilling to have it rebuilt so I had fencing put up on my side to hide it (and their overgrown garden.)

"Put something up on your side of the fence. You may lose use of a few inches of garden"

This. If you cement in 100mm posts it's recommended to have a hole 100mm on all sides of it so you would lose 4 inches of space ( 8 if you include the width of the fencepost )

We had a contractor out this evening for a quote to which our neighbour shouted at us and him that we are not to step foot on his property.

Did the neighbour look out and see the contractor already in his side of the garden? That can set people off if nobody has thought to knock and ask if someone can come into their space.

Don't those fence panels just slot in the concrete pillars? You could try to slot it back in and use wooden wedges to hold them a bit tighter, they've come loose if they've fallen out like that. I'd at least lean them up on his side of the boundary so the panels aren't in your garden. And get your own fence on your side.

Don't take his behaviour personally; he's obviously got problems of some sort, either poor mental health or declining cognitive ability/dementia. He's probably no longer able to respond rationally and appropriately and it's nothing to do with you as neighbours, as he's the same to others in your community. It's a sad situation but no reflection on you.

I think I will try to catch my neighbour on either sides of our house and try to find out from there.

I just feel disappointed I suppose after all these years of being nothing but nice to him he decided to act like that. It completely threw me and I got so upset that I honestly did shout back at him because I couldn't believe he was accusing us of throwing weed killer over his garden and smashing his back gate

The contractor didn't go anywhere near his fence he stayed on our side of the fence the whole time as he wouldn't be able to get into his garden due to all the brambles anyway and we wouldn't expect him to. He measure it all on our side on the patio

He may well be suffering a decline in mental health but it's pointless ruminating over that now. Just put your own fence up on your side of the boundary up against his and leave him to it. If he tries to interfere with work being done on your own side of the boundary then you are going to have to report it. What is certain is the relationship you thought you had with him has clearly gone so don't spend any more time worrying about how he spoke to you or why. There's nothing you can do about that now.

You can download your neighbours deeds for £3.50 each. I probably wouldn’t ask them as so many people believe the “good side” stuff they might give you the wrong answers

Ok, he's obviously a bit bonkers then. Does he have 'good' days anymore when you could discuss it?

It's completely rotten over the years and come loose all together we have put it back up a few times as it's come loose before but obviously due to the severe storms it's broken completely now. Every contractor has told us it is past any repair as that's what we wanted to do originally because of the cost so unfortunately I think we are going to have to look at a whole new fence

@RubyRoo29 if it isn’t on the deeds then it might say in the paperwork your solicitor would have got when you purchased? There are usually questions the solicitor asks the vendor. In mine it says which we own and which we do not - might be worth looking at the documentation?

Was the contractor stood in his garden? Could he be worried about you damaging things/trampling plants?

Not all deeds tell you who is responsible for the fencing. It's perfectly possible and common that some don't.
Some tell you somewhere in the deeds wording that everyone is responsible for the left fence or similar, others don't.
Some no-one is responsible for, so you can try to get your neighbour to split, but you can't make them.
Which side the 'good side' faces has no relevance, you can point a fence you buy whichever way you like.

In your situation, if you can put up a fence without entering his garden I'd go ahead and do it regardless, whether that's on the original posts or just inside your boundary. He can't afford it, and you don't want a dog in his garden, so what's he going to do? Shout for a while then move on. But that's me.

I feel really awful saying this but he's been a bit 'odd' since we moved in 2021. He was nothing but lovely then and has taken in countless parcels when we have been in work during Christmas and what not. I even spoke to him yesterday and he was completely fine but he just snaps every now and again but it has never been directed at us so tonight was just all a bit overwhelming tbh. I think we may be a bit past the point of conversation now as he tends to do this then not talk to whoever he's fallen out with again which I feel awful about as we live next door to him so is really uncomfortable

No he was measuring everything up in our garden he didn't step foot in his garden

If it's just panels just put them back up yourself, it's not a big job.

We’ve lived here nearly ten years. For the first few weeks we thought the house was empty and due to be sold (perhaps waiting for probate or something).

The front driveway is ruined as butterfly bushes have taken hold in the paving and are now huge and lifted all the blocks. It’s a two car driveway but you can now only fit one. There is a tree growing in front of her garagevdoir, again through the paving. It’s about 7/8ft now. The pile of post in her front porch is waist height and a meter wide. You can see the stacked boxes and piled up furniture through the window. The tree worries me every time we have a storm- it’s so close to the back of both houses. The tree is significantly taller than our roof- you can see it clearly if you stand in front of either house. The branches go over both our houses by several meters and because it’s so close if it came down it could easily land on either house.

For a significant period last year I think her electricity was cut off- you could see her moving around at night by torchlight but there were never any main lights put on. Again I reported this to the council as a welfare issue. No help was forthcoming. They just said they were aware of the issue as they’d had several reports.

When we first moved in we tried to be neighbourly- Christmas cards etc, trying to check on her when it snowed, seeing if she needed any help. Nothing major, just tried to be polite and friendly, She was either rude and aggressive or completely ignored any contact. Any attempt over the last few months to sort out the fence/tree issue has resulted in the same. It wears you down.