AIBU - house purchase with partner

[Whatshouldidoinlife]

Hi all
Just wanted thoughts.

Partner and I want to purchase a house together.
purchase price £700,000.

I own a house and my partner rents.
My partner would pay stamp duty in region of £25-£30k.

I would put down my equity in house as deposit and ring fence that percentage of property of price and the remaining percentage would be split 50/50.

I would pay an early exit mortgage fee and the estate agent fees (around £6k).

My partner earns 3 x as I do.

If we put in our salary percentage wise -70/30 to my partner and shared the rest of the equity (bar my deposit) 50/50 does that sound like a fair deal?

Have I missed something or do I need to consider anything else?
I want to be fair to myself and him.

His previous big debts would be a red flag for me.

@Whatshouldidoinlife when you say bills were split 50/50 was that just food/utilities or any element of housing cost?

Years of debt accumulated over 17 years?
Massive red flag.
Why would you get involved with someone with that history of behaviour.

You will be 100% putting your children at risk.

Debt as in borrowing money at the end of each month to buy shopping etc. not big purchases. Just the income didn't cover expenditure.
I wasn't aware of this until after - but this hasn't impacted us in anyway until now: he has always paid his way often more than he needed to. He has no savings or home of his own. Which makes us unbalanced moving forward .

He would pay a set amount and I would use it to pay bills shopping mainly. But he's been living away for 6 months now and pays CM as he doesn't live with the baby. I don't know if I'm doing anything right.

So would it for me but after living with him for a few years I know enough to understand it's not any dodgy habits rather than over promising family members and living out of means which has not happened around me: but then I don't know if that's because I have a good wage. He was the only income previously. Whereas with me I guess it's shared so no chance of going into debt...

You are not doing anything wrong. Just asking all the right questions.

can you not budget 600k

you put in 300k (if i have read that right of what you have!)

then the rest of the 300k is split 50/50. If you split up then its quite simple. You have children from another relationship and id imagine if you did not have these living with you, youwould not need a bigger house? Therefore to make it fair IMO it should be 50/50

and for gods sake ringfence that 300k!!!!

So rent forever? Be a lodger in their house?

Ring fence your deposit so that's safe. If partner earns 3 X more than you he pay 70 percent of SDLT, mortgage, and the fees for coming out of mortgage early and selling fees. You pay 30 percent of it all. Then he owns 70 percent of house value minus deposit and you own 30 percent plus deposit. I think that's fair. Buy tenants in common if not getting married and pooling income. Also split other household bills 70/30 too.

Still not really fair imo. The need for a bigger house is because of her previous children.

Ok so how about he pays the mortgage for 400k. If you split from house sale he gets 400k, you get 300k and you split the equity. He pays all mortgage payments and you split the bills more like 60/40 due to him needing to pay for his own child who is living in the property.
Of your you need this written in a legal agreement

Yes, but he knew she had those when they met, and impregnated her with a third, so he's not unaccountable in this current decision!

My honest opinion is that unless you both want to be married and see yourselves as being together forever and pooling finances, then don’t buy a house together. If you want to become a single family unit, then he should be willing to pay 100% of the mortgage when you have children if need be.

full disclaimer here - my previous husband I married had debts and no income and i supported him in giving him the deposit and credit history needed by selling all my assets for a business and giving hi' all my savings circa £40k back in 2010 He repaid me by putting in his name and I'm the end screwed me over for everything and left me with debts. So I'm worried about history speaking itself even though it's another person.

To be honest I don't know why I keep meeting men like this and trusting them. I'm either overly cautious or overly trusting.

Does the fact that he knew about them mean he has to pay for them? That doesn't really sound fair in a relationship where they are not pooling everything.

Hi OP, I've not read all the comments but personally for me I would ring fence your deposit /equity, pay the conveyancing fees on your sale and go 50/50 with everything else. This way you're protected with your deposit as this has come from your property you had pre partner and everything with your partner moving forward is shared.

With his salary being more than yours, if you're not going to combine income once you have purchased your house together then I wouldn't go for a £700,000 property.

My partner and I combined income when we purchased our first home, at that time he was earning 2x more than me and with the purchase we split everything 50/50, deposit, fees etc. 8 years later he earns 4x more than me and we're married and we still combine income.
This is something you both definitely need to discuss before purchasing a property together to make sure you're both on the same page.

If you read the thread they have already cohabited and made arrangements to split bills, so he is obviously fine with that. The thread is not about paying for other people's children; it's about the OP protecting her assets when she cohabits with a man who has virtually no deposit, and a credit past of debt.

Well it's her house, he currently has fuck all

A decent solicitor should be able to draw up a document that prevents this happening, and it usually only happens in specific circumstances anyway - like one paying towards substantial improvements, or giving up work on the understanding that they are becoming a homemaker.

Berating yourself for choices won't help. We don't have our accountant heads on when we fall in love (well, apart from my mother who was one, and really took her nasty ex to task from the grave!!) Maybe take a breath here. There will be other houses, so don't worry about letting that one go. Don't rush. Think about if you want to financially get into bed with another man who has a bad credit history, and who cannot equal you with savings/deposit, and how that will roll down the line. Importantly, talk to him about it. If you can't have the conversation about how you feel anxious given your past about his, and about the disparity in contributions, etc. then you can't build a future with a man who won't be compassionate about that. His response will tell you a lot.

This is true, OP could get a no-nup for her current home and move him in; cheaper than the big risk of stretching for the 4 bed house. A good trial run on what's to come too.

OP, that you did the above should be a lesson.
That you are worried about doing something foolish again should be enough.
Your gut is warning you yet you persist.

It really is disturbing that you would consider risking your home for this man.
What is your plan if everything falls apart and the house has to be sold?
Because that is a huge possibility.
That is what you need to focus on.
What exactly would you do?
You have three children to house.
You have a house now.
Absolute madness to consider risking it.
Let him save and build a deposit for a house.
You stay put in yours.
Was this child actually planned?

No, it's about who pays for what and the fact that they need a big house because there are two extra children is definitely relevant.