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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH did F'all all weekend

105 replies

holidayblues25 · 03/03/2025 10:09

I left on Saturday to do the weekly shop, and spend some time with my DD, yes it took me 4 hours, which was a bit longer than usual, but it wasn't like I went to the spa... DH said he had tons to do in the garden and would take things to the dump. AFAIK none of that happened, and he couldn't even walk the dog because our eldest wanted to come too, but DH didn't feel it was fair to leave the 5yo with the 12yo, fair enough.

Then on Sunday, he said he'd do bits around the house including the recycling, but instead he just walked the dog and that was it! I did all the laundry (being six of us it adds up) and cleared our bedroom as well as general cleaning and taking the trash out .

Now, I don't know if I'm being unreasonable because I think he should have done more. Forgot to mention he cooked dinners for both nights but neither were massive things ... One was egg fried rice and another one was burgers.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 03/03/2025 15:34

holidayblues25 · 03/03/2025 15:05

Depending on many variables it could be in the sink until Saturday. The earliest it would get washed would be Thursday pm

Show quote history

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just wash them on the evening. One of you puts child to bed the other washes the pots or both wash pots before getting everyone ready for bed. It will save time at a weekend.

Original poster
holidayblues25 · 03/03/2025 15:34

LivingwithHopenowandforever · 03/03/2025 15:27

Honestly OP I really don’t know how you can leave dishes in the kitchen for Saturday?!

Before we go on holiday everything is cleaned and tidied away why because one thing we enjoy coming back to after a lovely holiday is a clean house. It’s almost like we have an extra couple of days to rest & recuperate before the rat race begins. The thought of coming back to a messy house gives me the chills.

The more you write OP the more it is about you guys just not doing the basics daily and then having it all to look forward to on a Saturday.

Does it not get to you looking round at everything that has just been left?

I am that person who makes sure downstairs is spotless and tidy before I go to bed.

That way the family can just get up & go about their day. It gives me time to slowly get up as I struggle in the mornings knowing that when I get downstairs it is as I left it. Even on the wknd they are off doing their thing & in the afternoon it’s a case of what do we need to do, get the jobs done & family time. Even at their age of early 20s family time is important to have a laugh, decompress together.

It’s much easier when all the members of the family like a clean & tidy house.

Not really... I have a high tolerance for mess, the only thing that really gets me are dirty floors.

But nobody really does much around the house so it just fluctuates to some better days than others, and the weekend is when we really focus on floors, the kitchen, and the laundry. It does take around 6 hours total, that split between the two, over two days isn't really THAT much but it needs to be done because otherwise it snowballs!

OP posts:
Original poster
holidayblues25 · 03/03/2025 15:36

Coconutter24 · 03/03/2025 15:34

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just wash them on the evening. One of you puts child to bed the other washes the pots or both wash pots before getting everyone ready for bed. It will save time at a weekend.

Show quote history

Because normally I'm either still working or clearing the kitchen, but the dishes are the least of my priorities.

After dinner I'm normally back at work replying to emails or running reports.

My DH sometimes does his workout around that time too.

OP posts:
Covertcollie · 03/03/2025 16:03

We have fun at weekends. We’ve lived in our house for nearly 10 years and have never done a ‘deep clean’. Once a month we’ll maybe clean for 30 mins though but no thanks. We’d much rather be having fun. We do a parkrun, one of us shops while the other takes the kids swimming / play park / museum, then socialising in the evening and a hill walk with friends or mountain biking or orienteering with kids on Sunday. There’s much more to life than cleaning and jobs OP. Chill.

I would never be able to go to bed without having done the dishes though, that’s basic stuff.

Original poster
holidayblues25 · 03/03/2025 16:19

Covertcollie · 03/03/2025 16:03

We have fun at weekends. We’ve lived in our house for nearly 10 years and have never done a ‘deep clean’. Once a month we’ll maybe clean for 30 mins though but no thanks. We’d much rather be having fun. We do a parkrun, one of us shops while the other takes the kids swimming / play park / museum, then socialising in the evening and a hill walk with friends or mountain biking or orienteering with kids on Sunday. There’s much more to life than cleaning and jobs OP. Chill.

I would never be able to go to bed without having done the dishes though, that’s basic stuff.

Well I have for over 40 years, so it's "my normal". And yes Weekends are still for having fun, it's not like we should be cleaning all weekend just 2-3 hours each over 2 days make a massive difference.

By 12 we'd be done, or if we're going out, then the next day we get on top of things.

Both of us spend at least 8 hours doing some sort of sport. We both do long rides/runs over both days of the weekend, so it's not like I'm saying that we only clean either.

OP posts:
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