Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

If your husband wants to raise funds, why does he not do something that is actually useful, like picking up litter, rather than 'a huge challenge' which I assume is something he actually wants to do but which has no practical value to anyone else?

Why not just say what he's doing? It's obviously something cunty or you'd have said @Primmyhill

What he's doing is relevant. If he's a runner who's doing a marathon, I doubt I'd sponsor him. That's a bloke doing his hobby. If it's something that's a struggle for him, I'd respect the effort.

But ultimately, I' m not mad on sponsoring adults. Just donate, you know?

In some cases I suspect there's a bit of lashing out at the light it shines on their own lack of charitable concern.

In other cases they don’t want to chip in to the £5k Dave needs to raise to cycle to Paris (which costs £4.5k of what he’s raised).

Some of the stuff friends have mine have done, notably the guy that walked from London to Istanbul have been entirely self-funded and there’s been a charity if people would like to make a donation. Always happy to donate in that case. He raised 1000s more for his charity than he’d have been able to donate personally, and many times more than his own costs.

I think a lot of it depends on the “who”, the “why” and the “what”
I’m not going to worry too much about sponsoring the partner of a friend, just because they are the partner of a friend, whereas I MIGHT have sponsored the friend purely on that basis alone.
I’m not going to sponsor anyone to support a charity/ cause that I don’t believe in.
I’m not going to sponsor anyone to “achieve a lifelong ambition” to parachute/ hike the Great Wall of China or whatever it might be, where the vast majority of the money covers costs and does not reach the charity itself

So, if you’re finding that your link is being ignored, maybe you need to include some additional information, about why your DH is undertaking whatever this challenge might be. Underline that his motives are purely to support your friend with MND and how fundraising helps support people with this condition. The difference that a few pounds can make. Reassure people that 100% of their donations will reach the charity, and that your DH will not be benefitting personally in any way from their donations. If it’s something that he’ll actually enjoy doing, then be honest about it, but be really clear that all donations will reach the charity. If it’s something that he’s terrified of, then make it light hearted but reinforce how much of a challenge it will be for him.
Make it personal.

But as a rule, adults get sponsored less than children.

Sorry if I’ve missed what the actual challenge is. But the ones I absolutely refuse to sponsor are the ones where the participants ‘cycle round Cuba’ or walk to Machu Pichu. They have a holiday in a big group and come to you to subsidise their travel. Awful.

Really? I thought people kept all the cash for themselves. Thanks for clearing that up.

She said it in her subsequent post. Though if she had any sense, she would have said it in her opening OP.

"Primmyhill · Today 20:49
It’s for MND"

This. Just give to charity if you want, and stop the performative nonsense. It's showy and naff, and most people hate it. Like many others I give to a number of charities through my bank account, and will NOT give to chuggers, begging at checkouts, and fecking sponsored shit/school kids trying to raise £7000 for a trip to Africa/a MAMIL riding from John O'Groats to Lands End to raise money for a particular charity of THEIR choice.

That's who he's raising money for... Not what he's actually doing. Is it a marathon, skydive, 3 Peaks etc...

Because a some of the money they are raising is not going to charity, but to pay for them doing the sponsored thing to start with.
If you have a sky dive on your bucket list, then pay for it yourself.

I donate if it’s a mega thing like rowing the Atlantic for a good cause

As I said. It very much depends what he’s doing

I've run loads of marathons and never run one for charity - there isn't a charity i feel strongly enough about to hassle people for money I'm afraid and it's my hobby anyway.

I do give to charities via DD though.

I've sponsored one or two people who have a close relationship with that charity day to day, the rest I've ignored.

She hasn't said what he is doing to "raise money" for them though.

There's a big difference between a genuinely impressive challenge and a "sponsored skydive" which basically is just a way of getting your mates to pay for your skydive

YANBU, people are selfish.

I find it hard to believe that the reason people don’t want to contribute is because they get keep getting asked by every other Tom, Dick and Harry.

I might get asked a handful of times a year, maximum. The odd tenner throughout the year seems fair to me. Especially for a cause like MND.

How often are you posting about this on social media OP?

I ask because I saw your post and remembered my cousin has been posting constantly about a run she's doing, I made a mental note to donate on payday (it's a worthwhile charity imo and I'm proud of her). I got paid over a week ago and have only just donated after your post reminded me, because she's posting a lot it's almost become background noise, my brain doesn't even register it.

I can’t be bothered with the pile on tbh because whatever it is I’ll get slaughtered!!

Probably insurance, plus escort craft(s) which will need to be stocked with provisions and crewed, plus medics…

This
Fed up with 'Jimothy is selflessly climbing KMJ/walking the Great Wall, Amazon, Skydiving....
Pay for him to do it..

That's crazy!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-32748923

I get asked several times a day if I go out. Rounding up my pound at a till, chuggers in the streets, a stand at the entrance/exit of a shop. I get them knock on my door too.

Jimothy! 😂

If he was making and selling things for the charity, or raffling things off - or doing something tangible like arranging a blood donor session or volunteering his time - then I don't think most people would mind in the slightest and would probably admire him.

But sponsoring - that's other people's money, not his, and frequently it's someone doing their own hobby at a higher level (which should be its own reward) rather than anything useful.

It makes no difference to me what the challenge is - it’s usually something the person wanted to do. I hate these bloody things, never asked one person to sponsor my kids, dh and I just made a donation, like we do with all the charities we support.

I sort of feel like this (unless they’ve had a really really personal experience of the charity so I think it’s worthwhile).