Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

Judging by these comments, it seems a lot of people do indeed think they are covering the participants fees. JustGiving etc goes directly to the charity. The participant will have already covered their fees (often a lot which people don’t realise).

THIS! ^ It's every time I go out, in many shops and eateries, and stores. Round up, give, donate, give give give. How much fecking money do they think we all have?!

NEWSFLASH PEOPLE! I don't crap money!

You are not being unreasonable because you have supported your friends, and they are in turn not supporting you and your husband. That is hurtful.

I get all the comments, complaining about paying to complete someone else'e bucket list, and the audacity is beyond comprehension when it's someone you haven't seen hits you up on social media after 20 years. But you HAVE supported people.

I usually try to donate when I can, because even if I wouldn't normally support the chosen charity (as long as I am not morally opposed) I want to a support a friend doing something significant to them and a cause they care about. They are not taking the money for themselves.

You don't give to receive in this world, so just because you donated you can't expect a donation back. But then again it is a sad indictment of modern society that your friends aren't supporting you as you have done for them.

As a side note, the people that I have seen raise the most money through a sponsored swim or cycle are wealthy successful professionals, and people obviously want to suck up to them for their own social climbing purposes.

Has no practical value? Raising money for an MND charity?!

This.

”sponsorship” tends to be money someone someone can go do something they want to do anyway, but for free as they’re “doing it for charity, mate”. Or if not for free just so they can get bonus nice bloke points rather than coming across as a selfish git with a time consuming hobby which means his kids never see him.

so no. I don’t.

I may well be wrong, but if the OP's username relates to an area of London, we are definitely dealing with a Jimothy bucket list style event.

This, was in a shop today.. 'do you want to round up by 87p for charity?'
"What's the charity?"
'Errrmmm...'.rabbit in headlights!

If it was for a worthwhile charity, and MND definitely is, I wouldn’t think twice about sponsoring someone.

But - I think sometimes of it involves an ambitious trip or far flung destination, some people might be less inclined as they think they’re paying for someone’s jolly.

That probably means it’s something not particularly challenging or impressive. A marathon or something.

Worst is when people get sponsored for doing something that they’re doing for fun such as skydiving etc. A lot of these requests are cheeky and everyone seems to be bombarded with fundraising requests.

So... is he walking the Great Wall of China, or something similar that is essentially a holiday or bucket list activity?

Depends on the set up.
A friend of mine is doing a fundraising trip for a charity. He has paid the cost element himself upfront so that anything anyone gives actually goes to the charity. I have donated.
If someone is trying to raise money for a holiday dressed up as fundraising, no thank you.

I would sponsor a child who was doing something worthwhile and not just to look pretty on mummy's social media! When I was teaching I had a blanket ban on sponsoring pupils otherwise it became insane!

You can say no. It’s not like you are going to see them again. But if someone I know is using up their free time to train for a charity event, pay admission fees etc then I will happily give them some money.

I would absolutely give money to a cause like this, but only if ALL the money raised is going to charity. Is he paying the entry fee if it's a marathon, the flights & guides etc if it's a mountain climb? Because otherwise it's an adult asking people to cover the cost of the thing before any money actually goes to charity. That would be a no from me.

Oh well. That's a shame.
A neighbour I've never met asked for a sponsorship the other day. I declined. I wouldn't dwell on it to be honest else you'll have no friends left.

Re what @XenoBitch said, I get it coming out of Morrisons and Sainsburys too. 50% of the time I come out of the doors with my shopping, there is a fecking chugger at the door, begging for their charity! They are often there for a week to 10 days, and they stop me every single time I try to leave the bloody shop. How many times do I have to say NO! Feck off! As I said, I already give to a number of charities of MY CHOICE. Stop bugging me!

If your DH wants to give money to a charity of his choice he can use his money, I don’t need to give him mine! In almost all situations when adults want sponsorship it’s to do something they frame as a ‘challenge’ but is really related to a hobby, looks good on their social media or is something on their bucket list - a marathon, climbing a mountain, a sky dive, a triathalon etc - and the money people donate always goes towards all their fees. The people doing the ‘challenge’ don’t spend a penny themselves. If someone’s doing something genuinely challenging and not for their own enjoyment/ bucket list/ social media I might consider donating but I’m yet to see it happen.

This!

Oh god, can someone explain this to me and I didn’t realise adults fundraising looked grabby or hobby funding?!

My children have recently been receiving a lot of help from a charity for children with neurological problems and me and my husband were wanting to fundraise to give back to them. It’s not a big charity it’s a small local center. We haven’t done anything like that before.

Is it bad form to do that? My kids can’t do it themselves so it would be us as adults who had to fundraise.

I hate most of these sponsored things and avoid them like the plague. My FB feed seems to be awash with friends / acquaintances asking me to give them £££ for walking / wing walking / sky diving / whatever and I find it quite intrusive l

It gets very tiring saying no and trying to avoid them. Am fed up being approached with "you look friendly" and all the other bullshit phrases they use.
It is like running a gauntlet sometimes.

You're conflating the cause with the activity.

If he could raise £1000 for MND and make the park cleaner at no cost, then why wouldn't anyone give?
If he wanted to cycle to Paris and raised £1000, and £750 went to his expenses leaving £250 for the charity, with no net benefit to anyone except him from the activity, why would anyone give?

While I don’t think anyone should feel obliged to sponsor someone, in this case YANBU because having asked you to sponsor their kids, it’s rude not to reciprocate.

I don’t mind people doing stuff as long as the sponsorship requests aren’t intrusive or persistent, so no one is out in an awkward position if they don’t donate.

I have only done one sponsored event in my life, to raise money for the hospice which cared for someone close to me who died in her 20s. I paid for the event myself. I have no quarrel with anyone who didn’t want to sponsor, but I’m pretty horrified at how many people on this thread think I was doing it to use someone’s tragic death to scam people out of money to pay for my “bucket list”. I paid for it myself and did it with only good intentions.

So it's a 'holiday of a lifetime.... walking the amazon/great wall china/pyramids
Or sports junkie.

Plane jump, parachute, swim in a dam.type thing?,.

😂