Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

I'd love someone to care enough to raise money for my condition, I'm.with you on this point

Your dh doesn’t need to do this at all. He should just focus on supporting his friend properly.

A hobby dressed up as charity work is annoying for everybody op!
Tell your dh to get over himself !! Dial it down, and stop making a tit of himself, and making his friend’s illness all about him. Jeez 🙄

He was asked to do it by his friend. The person’s family with MND and their close friends have made very generous donations. It’s just a particular few who I’ve mentioned here that haven’t.

I’ve had the same experience as you OP. Last year I asked for sponsorship to do a modest walking challenge. I paid for my own place. Very few of my friends sponsored me. Actually, more of my work colleagues did than my friends. My parents did but my siblings didn’t (I’ve contributed to soooo many of their DC’s challenges over the years). The final kick in the nuts was when one person who didn’t sponsor me almost immediately after gave me an Amazon voucher for my bday. For a short time I wondered if that was an intentional f you but I’ve come to realise people are just ignorant about how important this is to the individual.

Yes, I’m an evil bitch for hoping for a bit of support to be reciprocated! What a strange view

But you aren't paying back - you are asking others to pay back whilst your dh does a challenge. Stick your hand in your own pocket and donate to MND that's the payback they are looking for - they don't care about your dh's challenge.

Jeeze. I was about to post again in a more supportive way, having had my rant earlier about trips abroad. But seriously? You have lost any support from me with that last sentence.

I’ve answered it.

I've sponsored 2 different friends £10 this month. Now another one has shared a link on Facebook asking for sponsorship. If I could I would sponsor them but I literally can't afford it. It is my son's birthday this month and I want to spend what I can on him. Maybe they just don't have the spare cash. Even if they are well off they may have other priorities at the moment.

It’s ok for them to slag my husband off though - grand standing in Lycra etc??

I have a theory that you are the dh op.

And you haven’t got the answers you were looking for on here, and are outraged.

I feel sorry for your wife and friends. You are not ‘incredible’ for doing something you enjoy and expecting others to foot the bill to make you feel good. No one owes you sponsorship. Grow up.

Back in the dim and distant past we would go around with a sheet of paper asking if people would sponsor us for whatever, do the challenge and then go back around to collect the money. Now we’re just donating to charity because they have the money before the challenge is complete. Do we get our money back if they don’t complete the task whether they tried and failed or maybe didn’t even try? If I’m sponsoring you to do something I begrudge the donation if the challenge isn’t met. I know that says more about me.

You don't give in order to receive. That is what you are failing to understand. It isn't a reciprocal thing.

There is also a fundamental difference between children doing a charity challenge and a middle aged bloke who is already fit (looks f'ing fit in Lycra) doing his hobby and expecting people to think he is doing something sponsorship worthy.

Also skydives are the Worst:
the private company makes money out of you
They get to keep up their flying hours
and in doing so pollute the skies with noise and fossil fuel burning

wake up people!

You’ve found me out! I am indeed the husband!

It's unpleasant, isn't it? I always had the feeling this is how these things went - this list of public donators - how was the OP assessing their generosity? Their salary, their house size or their closeness with the MND person. Was £100 the expected donation to be seen as generous? This is why, if I'm going to donate I'll do it anonymously, I hate this grubbiness around charity donations - horrible behaviour.

Oh, I missed this gem.
I would probably be more likely to sponsor 'a lardy couch potato' who is going to find the event hard than someone who is already fit.

Well that would be a BIG no from me. I'd rather they donated the £290k to charity directly.

For me the worst is being asked to ‘sponsor’ your child to do charity work in Uganda or alike. I’m not paying for your child’s holiday.

This thread is surely a total non-event. As OP has a healthy sponsorship budget, all she needs to do is reallocate it to her DH. Next time Henry’s mum asks about the hop-o-thon say bluntly ‘my charity budget has been absolutely spanked this year by DH’s charity run around Hono Lulu, wishing Henry the best for his hopping challenge’.

This thread jus peak mumsnet.

OP in the real world most people I know donate to charities that friends are supporting.

My DH recently did a darts day for Macmillan, I did a fundraiser for the foodbank last summer, we donated to my daughters friends GoFundMe for a funeral, we give to people on the street, we donate to friends when they run marathons, climb mountains whatever.

And that’s before all the little jonnys and Jenny’s doing their bake sales or walks round the garden or (the worst of the worst on MN) show horror friends teenagers going to Africa.

It’s just what we do and what the people around us do. Only on here do I see such vitriol and disdain for both charity and people who give to charity.

We don’t care if the homeless guy buys booze, the Africa trip is pointless poverty tourism, the mate was going to cycle to lands end for a hobby anyway, or whatever. We just chuck the £20 in and do it with a smile and best wishes.

This is exactly why I stopped sponsoring anyone doing anything - did so for years for friends, family and children, even people at work. Then i did something and really struggled to pull in the minimum amount.

This was how I viewed it actually…until now, I had no idea the level of hatred for it! But I did ask for views so happy to take it on the chin.

That seems a shame, especially as you have sponsored them/their kids.

Maybe they will do it last minute?

The only time I really won't donate or sponsor is when the person is using the money towards their travel costs. For example someone was asking on FB for sponsorship for a trip abroad to work for a charity, I think in that situation they can pay for their own air fare etc.

I was surprised too when I first saw it all on here but know how your post would go OP.

I particularly enjoyed the one about how all your friends would be silently rolling their eyes because you’re ‘that’ person - imagine being ‘that person’ who thinks like that.

Most likely people haven’t got round to it or have forgotten about it, I wouldn’t follow it up just post about it on socials when it’s done, you’ll usually get a few more then.

I wouldn’t let it stop you donating to others in the future because you’re that kind of person. Don’t stop because not everyone is.