Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

If I want to Support a charity, then I will donate directly to a charity of my choice, not the one your dh has decided that everyone should support

Exactly this

@AthWat

"Maybe if you spent a little more time educating yourself on the industry you've chosen to work in, you might progress."

Absolutely no need for a comment like this

I tend to give money to causes that just ask for it, assuming it's something I want to support. If a neighbour was keen to encourage donations to MND, I think I'd rather he asked directly than did some 'challenge' with no discernible relevance to the charity's purpose.

That's it, I think (leaving aside concerns over stealth grifting). You'll get money out of me if you offer me something - an event I think will be fun, entertainment, food & drink, whatever; if you tell me someone's put up a crowdfunding page for a project close to my heart; if an advertisement or news story jogs my awareness.

Whether my neighbour abseils down The Shard or not , it has no bearing on my interest in MND. If he could reach me to beg for sponsorship, he can reach me to tell me about the charity and why I should give it - not him - some money. I completely fail to see how he thinks his personal adventure should make me want to help people with MND

I am involved with a charity to do with a chronic condition that I suffer from. The charity supports people with the condition through a website, training for medics, advice line, raising awareness.
Whenever they do any fundraising, such as charity coffee mornings, sponsored events etc, I feel uncomfortable asking anybody. It feels a bit self serving as it is something that I could benefit from myself even if indirectly. Therefore, I take part in sponsored events but put the money in myself as an anonymous donor or five rather than asking other people.
Whenever my children have taken part in sponsored activities for school or hobbies, the rule is that they do take part, but they sponsor themself using their pocket money, and call it an anonymous donation.
I have brought my children up to think that you give to charity in order to help the cause in question, not as a way to promote themselves.

Agree @Badknitter we had the same
I even had one parent whose child I’d sponsored on many occasions tell me in front of other parents that she wouldn’t be sponsoring my kids ( for The MacMillan nurses ) because she only does her own!

Really embarrassing. Not one school parent sponsored my kids. Ever!
So I stopped sponsoring others too and when an adult parent was doing something I didn’t sponsor them either as they always refused my kids when swimming for the Nurses and she was a GP . You live and learn. I know it seems petty but I do wonder if we were the only people ever sponsoring all the others anyway

Another Scrooge here who resents sponsoring anyone! I’d rather just give. I do sponsor kids if things come up but for an adult… I tend to feel it’s more about the ego-boost / doing the activity than it is genuinely raising money for the cause.

I agree that those who ask with that sort of thing should be prepared to give back.

I'd wait before getting too upset though, because they might still come through.

Otherwise, I wouldn't sponsor anyone (or their kids) again if you've already done so but they didn't sponsor your husband.

It's so weird these sponsored things. Just spread the word about a charity, no need to "sponsor" someone to run or swim or whatever. It's bloody ridiculous and just so an adult can do his hobby with a halo.

@Terribletwoss

i have received emails and social media messages from friends who are advocating for charities that benefit their own children or family, either directly or indirectly. This doesn’t bother me at all. Telling me that a charity helped connect you to services you needed, does great work, and could always use more support is good advocacy. It helps to see the real world ways a charity helps people in our community. It’s the best kind of advertising a charity can get.

what people are talking about on these threads are the sponsor my activity that I want to do anyway and I’m going to call it a charity event. These can run that gamut from a 5k run, which actually isn’t that bad because those are pretty cheap to put on, to a 5 day trek through Borneo, for charity, really, it’s for charity.

Hey OP - sorry in rush so haven’t read other responses but they majority of donations come very close to the event, during and after (ex non profit worker here of 15 years). To not have had people donate at this stage is pretty normal

I think it wouldn’t hurt the friends to give a tenner or something. I always find that for things like this, if nothing has been donated yet, then people are not yet inclined to give, if you donate first or someone else, others follow suit.
However, there’s a category of ‘charity’ events that I’m not that keen on donating for, my boss at works loves running, that’s all she ever does, when she now enters an event that’s related to running (which she does a lot) and then links it to a charity, it just does not feel like a challenge because this is her hobby. I still donate though but it’s always annoying. Will make sense if she’s doing something challenging to her.

I know many charities rely on sponsored events for income. On the other hand. I never ask people for money because I find it embarrassing. My least favourite begs are when people go on a fantastic freebie holiday, want other people to pay and act as though they are doing something noble. I donate to charity every month out of my own income.

This depends entirely what he is doing, and what the charity is. Your charity is fine, but I tend to support more local charities that can't essentially be accused of being a racket.

For example, I would always sponsor a friend or colleague (who is a non-runner) and decides to do a marathon. I've done one as a non-runner, and the commitment and training are very hard.

If it's a Tough Mudder or similar, then I'll begrudgingly "like" the inevitable stream of "look at meeee!!!" photos, but don't expect me to get my wallet out.

But yeah, generally not sponsoring kids for non-events either.

How close were ye to the person with MND
Did your husband ask the family if it was ok to use their name to fundraise?

The fact that nobody sponsored him makes me think he is overstepping.

It's a bit mean of them to not support him tbh, but then you've learnt something about them all. Are they otherwise stingy or is it just that they don't want to sponsor anyone? I do understand the objections if its a foreign holiday essentially but this doesn't sound like that.

Sponsoring people has been done to death, no one does it anymore. As it annoys everyone. I’m not sure why you are so out of step with the general consensus op.

I haven’t been asked to ‘sponsor ’ anyone for years, and even if it happened now it would be a day too soon.

I contribute to and choose my own charities that are important to me, and I don’t want to get involved with other people’s ‘Goals’ and such like. That is for them to pay for. I wouldn’t mention it to anyone again, and would quietly withdraw it.

I think it's a bit tight not to sponsor adults. It's not like it's a sponsored Carribean cruise. If it's for cancer reasearch or another worthwhile cause, what is a couple of pounds if u would put the same ina collection box?

It always seems to be a man of a certain age, springing around in Lycra and having paid no attention whatsoever to charity, suffering or serious illness in their whole life, have decided to take on a ‘challenge’ of God’s work (mainly for their own benefit to suit their hobby) and they attach a loose acquaintance who has probably not been asked, to the ‘project’ to give their sponsorship a boost, and it’s really all about them and their ego and not about the charity at all. And everyone knows it, can see it, and wants nothing to do with it.

It’s a classic stereotype that is extremely prevalent in the lower middle classes of a certain age. A bit bored, unfit and in need of an ego boost and attention. It will be heavily publicised on SM throughout. It’s embarrassing.

I’d tell him also to send his own emails

It’m not ‘forcing’ and hoping for support from your friend circle when you have supported their families isn’t too much to ask in my eyes. But trust MN to think otherwise!

If you PM me details I'll give him a tenner

Where did you get it was minor and local from? And how is it insensitive to hope for a bit of support when you have supported your friends families? Some of the views in here are quite frankly very odd! Insensitive- get a grip!

Really?? After you have supported their families? It’s wrong to hope they might support yours too? A very strange attitude!

This!