Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

Why not? I don't want to give money and find out it all went to pay for someone's holiday. I won't be able to understand why you don't care unless you explain.

I'm not arguing anything beyond that this attitude to sponsorship doesn't exist widely outside of Mumsnet.

You're making out that charity events are pleasant holidays in the sun and I'm pointing out they're not. Give to charity or don't, up to you, but many of us would be sunk without it.

Because I can't be arsed being interrogated by you. 🤣

It absolutely does exist outside of mumsnet.
I'm quite heavily involved in the charity sector and I have seen plenty of debate about the ethics and optics of it

The cost of the trip is all included. The minimum amount you raise covers the coach, etc. I can't remember the ins and outs of it. If charities didn't think them worthwhile, they wouldn't run them. Like employing fundraisers.

I didn't say it didn't exist at all, but it's not widespread in my experience and sphere and this thread shouldn't put people off doing fundraisers and asking for support. 🙂

As some pp have stated I wouldn't contribute towards someone doing something that they want to actually do but what others to fund it, usually a marathon or a sky dive, you don't usually see people asking for sponsorship to do stuff that's boring/unfulfilling. If I wanted to contribute towards a Charity I'd do it directly. Saying that I don't do anything sponsored so I don't ask for contributions, if I did then id expect to do it when the roles are reversed.

This is my job and for each challenge I can see clearly whether people self fund and raise whatever they like or use a charity place with a minimum sponsorship level needed.

Far more people self fund than you seem to imagine. 'Large proportions' of the money raised are not going to finance these activities.

If they have a charity place, paid for by us, we monitor their fundraising and if its not enough, we don't let them do the event so the charity doesn't lose out.

We have a responsibility to ensure we raise as much as possible to carry out our aims and objectives.

And no one at any point is forced to donate anything. Believe it or not, many friends and family enjoy the opportunity to donate as it makes them feel good about themselves.

Sorry, I am not into subsidising people's hobbies.

If you actually try and articulate your opinion, you never know, you might realise it's wrong.

I'm not saying nobody self funds. I am saying that while people don't know who is and who isn't self funding, they are going to take the safe route and not contribute.

If your industry made sure that everyone self funded, and made it clear to the public that was happening, that obstacle would be removed. You should be having this conversation within your industry as you should be able to see the damage it is doing to the credibility of fundraising.

It's very widespread, and I've had any number of conversations with people about it. And those conversations have been going on for a decade or two.

I will not sponsor people when almost half of what I give goes towards their flights and holiday (which includes the activity that we sponsor them to do).

No-one does a challenge that they wouldn't otherwise choose to do. And often it's to do something that they want to do, but can't afford. So they use sponsorship quite cynically in order to have the experience that they can't fund themselves.

I sponsor people for local runs etc, because all the money goes to the charity. And I'll sponsor kids for stuff that takes an effort.

I disagree. I care about the reputation of charities and the charity sector and I think it is really important that there is genuine transparency about whether donations are funding the actual charity or funding someone's holiday/ marathon entry fee/sky dive.
The blurring the lines is unethical and is deterring people from donating

But why should I? You're really angry about it and I'm not, you want a row and I have no interest in one. I give on official sites, I know how fundraising works having done plenty of it myself. If someone gets to do something amazing, good, I don't have an issue with someone raising a ton of money and happening to have a life changing experience at the same time.

I've yet to be asked to donate to anything where I've seen blurred lines. 🤷‍♀️ Lucky me.

I only sponsor stuff which is useful such as sponsored community rubbish clear ups, etc. I see no point sponsoring someone to do, say, a parachute jump or a walk to Land's End.

Actually I should have referred to 'sponsorship via online giving platforms' but my points still stand.

I have a lot of experience of fundraising via running events.

A physical bake sale will raise a tiny fraction of funds and awareness of sponsored events, circulated via online networks.

It's a shame because I'm a big fan of cake.

From the fundraising regulator. https://www.fundraisingregulator.org.uk/code/specific-fundraising-methods/events

I have seen plenty that are unclear and have also seen plenty of articles in the press and heard plenty of discussions at board meetings raising concerns about this.

It should be very very clear whether my £10 is paying for Larry Lycra's air fare or going to pay for XYZ charity's charitable activities

I have only once sponsored a friend doing a fun activity, because they made it clear they were paying for that part themselves.
It also depends on the charity. I can not bare to sponsor MacMillan Cancer as I am still so bloody angry with them.

Well, whatever you say, people do contribute, supporting their friends generously and wholeheartedly.

Our fundraising is going from strength to strength, we have no issue around credibility.

In all the time I have worked in this sector, no one has ever raised the issue with me. Which is why the level of accusations this evening has been quite startling.

I find this place quite startling in general. Wait until you come onto being asked to sponsor a stepchild...

Well you seem proud of the fact you don't look, so that's hardly surprising.

Nobody has ever raised it with you? And you've never seen it raised, or overheard it raised? This thread is the first time you've come across the thniking?

I find that absolutely staggering.

I find it equally startling you aren't aware it is an issue given that,
a) for all the time I have worked in and advised the charity sector it has been a hotly debated topic (over 20 years now!);
b) the fundraising regulator guidance is robust on this point precisely because of those concerns; and
c) outside the charity sector I have seen this concern come up again and again both on Mumsnet and various other sites /newspaper articles.
If you arent aware, you haven't been paying attention

Stagger away. No on all those counts.

I mean, I imagine it's the sort of thing that would crop up in Daily Mail comment section but none of the fundraisers or supporters I have worked with have ever raised it.