Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

The name might have been funny but the remainder of the post was deeply unpleasant and distasteful

Thank you.

So many people live without empathy, hope, or support because they have the misfortune to have a disease noone has heard of rather than one that has a visceral reaction in people.

I sometimes think maybe we should rename all rare diseases "xyz cancer" so people actually start to care about them and the people who suffer with them

If we take your figures at face value, why do you think saying that you are going for a run prompts people to give money to a charity more than offering to sell them a cake does?

I just scroll past all these sponsorship things, just always seems a paid for holiday.

OP, I totally get where you’re coming from. It’s for a good cause and although not everyone can donate you’d expect some moral support, converted to financial, from
at least some of your friends.

It’s been a bit of an eye opener reading some of the posts on here as I’ve done a couple of sponsored runs for a cancer charity. I was really surprised that although there’s a strong family history of the disease that so many family members did not support me on any of these.

That said, so many people, some not very close, were very generous.

Swings and roundabouts so I still give when I can, whether to support the friend even if I’m not interested in the charity, or if it is a cause I’d like to support.

Maybe your family members already give a lot.
I have several big standing orders set up for charity donations (admittedly to small charities supporting rare diseases because these are so underfunded in comparison)

I work in fundraising and I can tell you that many people do completely self fund their challenges so that 100% sponsorship goes to the charity.

Don't forget the constant crowdfunding solicitations. When I was a child, I remember family members taking up collections to help out with poor relatives' funerals or other misfortunes, but now we're regularly asked to donate for strangers' vacations and cosmetic surgery.

And honestly, in the great scheme of things, very little is raised, particularly for the amount of effort expended.

Thousands of people sponsor friends and family generously and willingly and amazing things are done the funds raised.

I've been quite shocked by many of the attitudes displayed here - they are not something I recognise in my working life.

I would suggest he updates and recirculates his Just Giving page on the morning of the event and immediately post event too. Around 20% of donations often happen here!

It does pay for their trip though, so they don't have to. Especially when it's something abroad, like climbing Kilimanjaro.

Asking other parents for sponsorship is onerous and wrong. Sorry to say it, but it's not on to expect it

Oh and no I'm not reading through pages of replies before responding

I would agree with those estimates.

To donate on Just Giving - you can live anywhere in the world and donate any amount in a given time period, often over several months. Some people will donate more than once to the same event. Donors are not constrained just by the amount they can physically spend on baked goods. I often see donations from several hundred pounds to well into four figure amounts.

To donate at a cake sale you have to
a) live near the venue
b) be available at the specified time
c) like cake. Even then, there's a limit as to how much you could carry away.

Plus - baking isn't free. It's quite an expensive hobby but some customers feel it should be really cheap as it's home made.

Cake sales are nice, of course they are, but they're not very efficient fundraisers.

I really dislike sponsored things. I would only donate for very close friends or family as its the easier option than saying no.
But generally, I donate to charities that I choose, why would i send money to a random cause because someone is doing something physically challenging or silly? If you really wanted to support a charity I suspect they'd benefit far more if you gave them your wages to the equivalent time you would spend on the challenge/training for it etc.

I would be far more likely to buy things someone has made, or pay them to do some kind of work if they are donating profits, go to a charity event they have organosed, that kind of thing. Going for a run or jumping in a pool of slime is not something that I feel the need to pay people to do.

All that said- if it is the SAME friends who ask for sponsorships that aren't reciprocating then it's fair to be annoyed! But maybe it is a child v adult thing

I think many have got fed up with the cheeky sods asking for 'sponsorship' to trek the Himalayas, climb mountains etc, ie go on amazing holidays which others pay for, with the named charity getting a small percentage of the total. Those things seem like a racket tbh.

This response is about JustGiving, rather than contributing to a sponsored run.

I doubt many of your points above apply to a single individual's efforts in the Great North Run.

If your point is the Centre should set up a JustGiving link, then yes, it probably should (and quite likely has). The bake sale would just be another chance to publicise that which could reach just as many people as an individual blathering on on Facebook about doing the Great North Run.

Agreed.. I'm pleased to say I've never come across this attitude in my fundraising/donating life too!

Nobody with any sense actually does this, though.

Are you unaware that lots of people use large proportions of the money they raise to finance enjoyable, expensive activities they want to do, or don't you care? I presume it is one or the other as you appear to be completely ignoring the fact that this is the most common objection raised.

Cycle challenges are incredibly hard. I've done a couple and the last was the most difficult thing I've ever done. Yes it's an amazing experience but it is not a jaunt.

Same question to you. How do you feel about the objection most people who object have raised, that the proceeds of the fundraising are often used to effectively provide a nice holiday for the fundraiser?
You seem to be arguing that nobody should even try to find this out.

Why should I care how hard it is? What difference does that make to whether I give money to a cause?

Don't care.

I’ve done a few sponsored events and have also been so impressed and also grateful for the generosity of friends and family. I wont do any more for a while because I do feel embarrassed to ask but thankfully when I was doing them I didn’t have the general consensus on here. In fact quite a few friends said they were grateful to me that I will do the events because they never will and they’re happy to donate to give their little bit. I’ve raised around £6000 . I would happily do more but appreciate the begging posts on social media get a bit much but I will always try and sponsor others now even if it’s just a few pounds because I appreciate behind the scenes the effort that goes on. I have spent a fortune paying for the event, equipment for the event, hotels and travel to events and annual leave that must be taken as well as the training that takes me away from family. Yes it might be something I wanted to do but trust me it’s been huge efforts and expense to do it so I do think the consensus on here is harsh. If you can’t afford to sponsor or if you already donate to your chosen charity then fair enough but these charities rely on the big fundraiser events ( I work for a charity so I know this has fact !) so sometimes when I see one come on my social media I will think to myself I’ll sacrifice something to donate a few pounds because every little does help in these hard times for charities.

But did you pay all the costs of the trip yourself? Or did you expect the "charity donations" to also cover the cost of flights, accommodation etc?