Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

You don't tend to find many consultants or chief financial officers removing invasive plant species from downland or dragging fifty beer cans and half a burnt out Nissan from a wildlife pond, in my experience.

Ten a penny at the start line for a race, though.

Not wanting to sponsor doesn't mean not wanting to give to charity.

Sponsorship usually involves paying an admin fee before anything else goes to the charity.

Better to give direct to your chosen cause and dump the middle man.

To be honest if I didn't trust the person sufficiently not to be lying about that if they just said it, I wouldn't be giving anyway.

You have had a hard time on here @Primmyhill from many - including me - and I'm sorry for being a bit rude to you (and a bit harsh.) I think people have just found it jarring, because they have been ambushed and cornered so many times by so many people to give money, and donate to their DH or DC's sponsored 'thing,' and have had enough of being ambushed by chuggers and beggars in the streets, on the exits of shops and stores, at their own door, and at 1 in 3 checkouts they pay at.

So I think it's just jarred people. That's why people have piled on.

No hard feelings. I hope your DH manages to get some support, but I think many of your pals just feel like many on this thread. And as has been said, some people do just try to raise money to pay for something they want to do/dream of doing, and much of the money goes to paying for said activity, and not much goes to the charity.

YABU

There are so many things doing the rounds that you can’t expect everyone to sponsor him.

Having said that other than for a very close family member I wouldn’t be sponsoring children doing walks round the playground etc. I never asked anyone to sponsor my kids for that kind of dross either. I just put in £20 myself

I think I get it now.

A marathon or skydive is a no because it’s something that has fees and the person wants to do anyway, but something like a charity bake sale would maybe be okay? When people could choose to attend or not and the money clearly goes directly to the charity? so just post the link to the charity / bake sale time?

Please do correct me if I’m wrong! I want to do it correctly.

It's posters on Mumsnet, who generally hate most things. Plenty of people have no issues supporting a charity venture.

I sponsor as much as I can and like the OP I find it a bit disappointing when people I've supported don't support me in return. I guess that you just learn who to donate to in future.

Give your husband's event a push about A week before he does it and you'll get a better response. I often don't sponsor until the actual event because I'm short of cash. Good luck to him and to all fundraisers!

Bravo - exactly - breathtakingly entitled

You realise that rare disease you are mocking might be genuinely devastating?

Lots of rare diseases are devastating, or life limiting, or profoundly disabling. They are just as terrible and horrible as cancer but more so because people think they are something to joke about, or dismiss, or ignore, or not donate to. So you don't even have hope, or care packages, or respite care, or sympathy. It's lonely and crap having a rare disease or caring for someone with a rare disease.

They don't have the big fundraising juggernauts like Macmillan behind them but they can be just as likely, if not more so, to involve debilitating treatments, or a devastating prognosis. And even when they are just low level you don't have the same support or understanding or empathy that you would get from a condition someone had heard of.

Charities for rare diseases will almost certainly have much less bureaucracy and cost wastage than a large cancer charity and their recipients are just as deserving of care and support

I think joking about rare conditions is deeply unpleasant and ignorant

That sounds totally fine. I'd come and buy a cake or two.

Why do rare diseases make you laugh? They can be life ending, life altering, disabling, painful, scary, isolating...

I can't see anyone having a problem with a bake sale; presumably all money paid on the day goes straight to the centre, and people have provided ingredients and time at their own cost. Very little to object to.

When you sponsor as much as you can, do you find out first how much of your money is going to the charity and how much covering the event costs for the person asking, or do you just assume it always goes to the charity, or indeed, not care?

I’m very seen too many of these where the sponsorship basically buys the opportunity for the person to participate in their hobby. I don’t donate to charity via this mechanism anymore for that reason. I want my money to be used effectively. I do sometimes find the charity that is mentioned interesting and worthy and make a direct donation.

I never ask for people to sponsor my child. I cover that myself. I find the entire idea of having children ask other people to pay for them to participate in activities or to raise money for the school distasteful.

Absolutely!

Yes. I don’t see the point of donating when it’s likely my donations will pay toward the fees of doing the activity that Johnny wants to do, with maybe a little left over.

a cake sale, presuming cakes are donated which is nearly always the case, 100% will go toward the charity. Plus I get cake!

Organisations do need to be a charity or be an unregistered charity (e.g. a community amateur sport association, girl guiding unit) with a GiftAid number from HMRC to use JustGiving. (The JustGiving company itself is not a charity.) GoFundMe, Crowdfunder etc can give money to anyone.

A bake sale is fine! You are getting something in return and it’s usually a few pounds. Forking out £20 or more for Jonny to take his 4k road bike cycling through the South of France in June to raise money for such and such charity irks a little bit. We all know he’ll have a bloody lovely time.

Can't agree more - they are not called orphan diseases for nothing - because nobody literally gives a shit and nobody wants to do research as it will never pay back. Truly scary and must be lonely and people must feel abandoned. Can't agree more.

I'm surprised in that case, if you were aware of the necessity to do so when you asked for sponsorship I'd have thought you'd have mentioned it here straight away.

Haven’t read most of the comments but just to say good luck to your husband and anyone else doing something nice in the world.

I'm really randomly doing the dementia uk challenge this month (walking with my dog 😂) I obviously do it everyday anyway so not the hardest challenge but all for a good cause. All my family and friends have been so generous. For me personally it’s less about sponsoring a person and just an opportunity to give to a worth while charity! I hope others aren’t put off with negative comments about sponsorship 👍

Of course they don’t! Just the name that she called it!

Completely get where you’re coming from, OP. I sponsor people all the time so would be a little irritated if I did an challenge and they didn’t sponsor me back. Also get your irritation at sponsoring children for something that’s not a huge challenge. I haven’t read the whole thread but am surprised to see YABU coming out top.

You can’t force people to sponsor someone if they don’t want to. You shouldn’t only sponsor people’s children so they will return the favour, give willingly or don’t give at all.

I can't find any recent figures on the average bake sale income, but from experience, I'd say it's around £100 - £200. Last year, 10,000 people running the Great North Run raised £6 million+ on JustGiving. That's an average £600 each directly to charity (minus JustGiving payment processing fees), and it's likely Gift Aid was claimed on most of that, whereas you can't claim Gift Aid on a bakesale. I'm not saying you shouldn't have a bakesale, of course they have their place, but this idea that it's morally better to have bakesales is extremely reductive.