Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

Nobody, just nobody, looks fantastic in lycra.

We need to see a photo 😄

I feel that if adults gave the money that the event costs them in terms of training and travel they would probably end up giving more.

A climb up a mountain such as people do for fun, unless there's a reason why it will be particularly arduous, brave and heroic, I would not feel like sponsoring. A mum friend running for SANDS I probably would. I would never sponsor something like a parachute jump - extremely risky and expensive. People do those things because they want to add they should pay for them.

However I budget for charity and usually it's already allocated. If I see a disaster I might make a one off donation but it's my call to do that.

You won't name the event but you did say you have paid all your own costs, was this something that was made clear to people who were asked for sponsorship?

Good luck to your husband!

I’ve been scared off ever doing active fundraising 😂

Parachute jumps are a classic. There was a piece in the British Medical Journal a few years ago demonstrating that they cost the NHS more than they raised for charities.

But is it the London Marathon? Because effectively the amount he's 'required' to raise for the charity is basically the fee for taking part. I hate when people want sponsoring for the London Marathon because it's almost always something theyve always wanted to do and the charity places is just the only way to get a place, Id rather people just paid the donation themselves and viewed it as the cost of participation in a big name event.

@AthWat That was what I was hinting at when I caveated it with "if he is truly trying to raise money for MND," because I also disapprove of challenge events where the fee for participation comes out of sponorship, such as skydiving, climbing Kilaminjaro etc. Some people do pay their fees themselves and fundraise on top. But the majority of sponsorship fundraising is in fact mass challenges that are not adventure challenges, e.g. walks, marathons, cycle rides, Movember, etc and these do genuinely raise more money for charity than they cost.

I am with you. I don't understand why people can't just ask to donate to a cause directly - even 1 pound or 2 pounds, rather then asking to sponsor their exquisite time wasting - like walking from A to B or a parachute jump, etc. Even if the cause is great you feel you are sponsoring somebody else's folly first and the cause second.

Don't be mean. He's doing it to raise funds for his sister Jimberley's sex-change operation.

😂

By the time he's done the bike ride in lycra on an uncomfortable bike seat, he will be Jimberley.

That's it you see. That's the issue for many with this kind of thing.

Thank you. I didn’t expect everyone to agree with me but the ridiculous presumptions and belittling of someone trying to do something for a friend has been quite an eye opener!

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What makes you think they aren’t paying their own entry/participation costs?

If the fundraiser is through Just Giving it goes directly to the charity.

The admission costs etc would be paid entirely separately by the participant.

"Raise more than they cost" is a very low bar.

If you were my friend, I'd know about your children and you could just ask - I would happily put in some money.

I think what many posters (including myself) don't like is the expectation that people will fall over themselves to pay for someone to do whatever it is that they're wanting to do. The cost of that should be borne by the person themselves and maybe the charities could send proof of 'fully funded by person'. I would be quite willing to pay a donation to the charity then because they'd get the money directly.

It is breathtakingly entitled for charity-wanna-doos to demand funding for something they are not prepared to pay for themselves and i think that is what people are objecting to.

I think what he's doing is relevant.

A friend wanted sponsorship to do a parachute jump. It was something he wanted to do and apparently our sponsorship was partly to pay for his jump. As the whole thing was in fact just a bit of a jolly to him I didn't reply to the request. Frankly he was taking the piss.

Do people know your husband has funded the activity himself? Is it something that could be perceived as something he just fancies doing but is being disguised as being for charity not just for fun?

Yabu

You mention it's for a local person with MND and friends in common.

Maybe these friends have already donated to the cause through coffee mornings, raffles, disco etc and as such feel they have donated to the cause.

This made me laugh!

I know in some cases they are, and in some cases they are not. That's kind of the whole point. If they are, they might as well just provide a direct link to the chairty of course.
Just Giving, I believe, sends money to whoever the person has set up the Just Giving page wants it sent to. The vast majority are not registered charities.

@Terribletwoss - I empathise.

We decided to go for Christmas presents. We asked everyone who would normally buy us something for Christmas to make a donation to the charity that helped our child instead. We didn't want to know whether they did or how much, that was their private business. After the charity did so much for us it was the least we could do - we obviously gave as much we could afford as well.

I think charities could provide 'proof of entry payment' to the person doing whatever it is, that could really help.

I agree with your first part you can't expect people to reciprocate.

But realising your community won't support you when you reach out is sad, and I think the OP has a 'right to moan' about that. She is at least not saying it to people's faces, she is getting this sadness off her chest in an anonymous forum which seems like a decent way to deal with the hurt feelings.