Bring your whole self to work

[Porvendo]

My organisation is big on 'bring your whole self to work' crap. We've done training sessions where we're meant to 'open up' about life's troubles etc and get to know each other more deeply.

I used to buy into it all and considered certain colleagues friends etc but more recently I've seen the organisation and some of its leaders in a whole new light (after a nasty redundancy process where we let go of 12 colleagues) and it all feels a bit like they were just duping us into work more hours and creating a sense of blind loyalty (a bit like a cult)

AIBU? Has anyone else experienced this at work

This is what certain employers would say it means. But that wouldn't be 'bringing your whole self to work', it would be expecting not to be discriminated against as per your rights under employment laws.

I have never worked anywhere where people are not pretending to be something they are not. From Robbie in accounts who is pretending not to be hungover to David the senior manager who is pretending he regards his staff as family.

The most egregious bit of this type of 'authentic' bollockery I've encountered is when a pompous 30-something male boss set up and expected older female employees to attend something called a Menopause Brunch. They did not attend.

Oh how I'd love them to try menopause brunch at my place. 😂

I am a Senior Manager in a large insurer. Organisations do care about staff to an extent. However, if an opportunity arises to cut costs, staff will be let go and attitude wise never fall into the trap of thinking if you work hard a business will look after you. They simply will not. I still work hard, but do so with this in mind. A company should never get part of your soul and if you over share it might be used against you. In disputes with Management I have seen mental health questioned where a staff member has previously disclosed that something serious- family illness, break up etc is going in their lives.

Agree, so glad to read the common sense in this thread!

I'm a manager and have openly criticised the concept on "bringing your whole self to work" at my workplace - thought it was common sense - but wasnt sure how my comment went down (well, with one quite narcissistic/neurotic other manager in particular).

I don't hugely care but also after reading this thread feel I'm definitely on the right side of this. I'm hugely supportive of my staff in every way, we all get on and we
chat so happen to know a fair amount about each others' lives, but there is a strong and well regarded expectation of professionalism, and personal boundaries. And thank fuck for that.

Fairly sure I'd be arrested (or punched in the face as a minimum) if I brought my whole self to work.

This is how you end up featuring staff dressed in a bondage harness or wielding a whip or warbling on about their non-binary identity in your company magazine or public photo exhibition. (Isn't it, John Lewis?)

No thanks. Professional self will do!

And - very genuinely - any staff experiencing personal difficulties, please see HR, your direct line manager and our funded third party resources!

I agree HR (or the "People Team", as they style themselves) aren't your friends, but I would extend this to your employers aren't your friends either. Nor your boss, nor your colleagues.

Authentic self/whole self to work is about making a lot of noise by employers to say look we after our employees, without getting actual, meaningful changes implemented. It benefits a tiny amount of very loud, usually obnoxious people to dominate the conversation.

I give 120% of my professional life to work. At work my personal life is 120% private. All nosey Parker questions are met with a deflected question.

It was People and Culture - when they made me redundant.
I said oh dear, you'll need to drop the 'culture' now.

Box ticking crap.
Will fuck you over in the blink of an eye.
Particularly oil and gas industry Ne Scotland.

I found that the people who decided they wanted the MHFA qualification after I did it were exactly the people you wouldn't want knowing anything about you, as it would be taken straight to management or spread around as gossip.

So you have the 'We have twelve MHFAs' and 'but the only one you can actually trust is...'. And it gets a bit much sometimes hearing people completely offload about trauma and workplace arguments when you've just dropped in to say hello, knowing that beyond obvious safeguarding issues that would have to be disclosed, there is bugger all support if what they're saying causes me any discomfort.

In any case, seeing as work aren't exactly made up about the edited version of me that they get Mon-Fri, they certainly aren't ready for the rest of me.

Your work wants to own your whole self
They have not bought your soul, just your labour.

I worked at a City law firm (colour us all grey) where HT were renamed the Talent Team.

No way. Work is work and my life outside is. MY life and MY business. If I dropped dead tomorrow they would replace me and move on in minutes. I go to work to work not to spill my guts about my home or social life. Once you start getting too pally lines get blurred and professionalism goes out the window. My work often organises nights out and team building Saturdays which are not compulsory but actually you are frowned upon for not going. I don’t and never have . I do go the Christmas lunch but don’t and never would drink with colleagues.