Bring your whole self to work

[Porvendo]

My organisation is big on 'bring your whole self to work' crap. We've done training sessions where we're meant to 'open up' about life's troubles etc and get to know each other more deeply.

I used to buy into it all and considered certain colleagues friends etc but more recently I've seen the organisation and some of its leaders in a whole new light (after a nasty redundancy process where we let go of 12 colleagues) and it all feels a bit like they were just duping us into work more hours and creating a sense of blind loyalty (a bit like a cult)

AIBU? Has anyone else experienced this at work

Agree, and moreover I didn't want to be regaled with the tedious details of other people's private lives. I kept a wall between my private and working lives, didn't know that I was expected to take photos of my daughter's wedding to show people for example! They never knew I was becoming a grandmother until she's been born!

There's a big difference between not discriminating against employees because they are gay e.g. or unconventional in some way and pursuing some bollocks about authenticity and revealing all. People have the right to privacy and to separate their personal and working lives.

Glad to see people saying bring your professional self to work. This protects everyone, as do rules of courtesy in dealing with others in public and professionally. Hopefully this borderline coercion in asking people to breach personal boundaries at work is on its way out.

@hopeishere
Oh yes we have mental health first aiders too, made up of the nosiest, most judgmental and gossipy volunteers HR could find. I cant think of a bunch of people I'd be less likely to turn to in a crisis.

In my experience it tends to be those who like to sit and moan all day who do this.

I feel your pain @Porvendo

I work in a pretty touchy-feely area of my profession, but we would never do this sort of thing in the work place. I might chat about personal stuff with colleagues who are friends outside of work, but not during work time! Too many other things to be getting on with.

We have a colleague that brings her whole self to work every single day, whether we want her to or not.
We wish she would leave most of her at home. The office would be a much nicer place!

Oh I was always told at work, don't bring your troubles into work
Not that I ever bloody did

“Bring your whole self to work” is the biggest load of vacuous management bullshit I have ever heard. I can assure you that no employer wants me to do that.

When I’m at work, I leave the grumpy, lazy, selfish, impatient, opinionated, sharp-tongued, intolerant of fools, anti-social aspects of my personality at the door. I then pretend to be agreeable, sociable, competent & generally house-trained until it’s time to go home.

If I brought my whole self to work, I wouldn’t last more than a few hours. And neither, I suspect, would most people.

One of my team brings her whole self every day. It's exhausting as she also 'brings her two annoying/rude teens, her lazy husband, her domineering MIL, her anxious lock down dog, her bickering neighbours, her lovely Granny (she's our favourite though), her best friend who is suffering from OCD, her brother's boyfriend who she secretly fancies and her teen's head teacher who she has a run in with every week. There will be a drama concerning one or more of the above every.single.day.

I would be sacked in about a week if I brought my whole self to work. I just bring my phone voice & work persona

Such a lot of shite, isn’t it.

I’d be fired tomorrow if I brought my whole self to work 😂

Yes, a company I worked for years ago tried to peddle this. They clearly didn't really give a sh*t. Just wanted to continue the same output with less staff.

If only employers realised that REALLY caring about their staff would engender employee loyalty and a desire to do better to support each other. I've seen this in action in the time I was a manager. It is mostly true that if you have compassion for your staff that they will repay it in their work ethic.

Ironically, the one person who didn't do this was a friend that I had to manage. She just took advantage.

Love it! They should appreciate you, warts and all.

I wouldn't want to bring my whole self to work. I was hired to do a job, not talk about my problems. I go to work to forget about my problems.

I think it can be a relief to leave some of ourselves at home. A chance to take a break from thinking about some stuff can be one of work's advantages.
My whole self would not be a good bet on many days and in many situations.

That said it is nice to understand colleagues as people and promote empathy and inclusively. Most of us make some good connections at work with this approach.

Guess it is all about balance 🌻

IME of working closely with leadership, any personal information shared will always be used against you when necessary. Don’t do it.

Inclusivity ..... I mean

Yeah I hate that. My workplace expects us to complete a weekly "check-in" where we rate how happy we are and explain why. Fuck right off. They treat us as worthless numbers and I'm not either giving them a stick to beat me with (an honest rating would be low - I hate my job and only stay because it pays well) or a false happy reading that they can sell to their customers and investors. They aren't interested in our happiness and it would be better if they were honest that our employment is a financial transaction and nothing more.

This. I have always kept my personal and professional life separate.
I've never worked in an organisation that advocates bringing your whole self to work but I've certainly met a few individuals that have!

Bring your whole self simply meant initially that you do not have to hide that you are married to a same sex partner, or that you care for your mum after going home from work. But some companies realised they could use it to manipulate employees. Its no different to companies who used to say we are just like one big family. Its all crap.

I've worked with someone similar!

It's these sort of companies who also use wanky (not to mention contradictory) terms such as 'fake it til you make it'... Which can be good advice in principle, BTW, but sort of undermines the whole concept of bringing your whole self.

It'll pass.

I bring my professional self for the 8 hrs a day the company pays for.
I arrive on time & finish on time .

Some of my colleagues are bring their wholeself to work atm. I am coming home to my wholesale stressed about their problems that I cannot fix.

My whole self thinks that the "c" in c-suite stands for "cunts" and that almost all the senior management are exactly that, and useless into the bargain. The only reason the organisation functions well is because staff are really committed to helping clients, and mostly ignore ridiculous management shite.

I'm not sure that they're ready for that bit of feedback.