Bring your whole self to work

[Porvendo]

My organisation is big on 'bring your whole self to work' crap. We've done training sessions where we're meant to 'open up' about life's troubles etc and get to know each other more deeply.

I used to buy into it all and considered certain colleagues friends etc but more recently I've seen the organisation and some of its leaders in a whole new light (after a nasty redundancy process where we let go of 12 colleagues) and it all feels a bit like they were just duping us into work more hours and creating a sense of blind loyalty (a bit like a cult)

AIBU? Has anyone else experienced this at work

I take my happy, bubbly, capable self to work! I started in this position absolutely terrified after a decade plus out of the workplace due to disability, and the only way I got through day one was to put a mask on. I do share bits and pieces with colleagues now, and I don’t think I’m inauthentic, but my whole self can stay home in her dressing gown!

It's meaningless virtue signalling. It's just to pretend that they are kind and thoughtful to either get you to work harder or tempt new people to join. See also most forms of 'women's initiatives'.

Your “whole self” does not belong in the workplace x

My workplace was like this. They were ever so inclusive - until i got diagnosed with AuDHD and, emboldened by the "bring your whole self" ethos, i decided to ask for some reasonable adjustments.

Which took a year and 2 grievances to be implemented. All i wanted was a wireless headset and an extra monitor.

I guess they didn't really want my whole self there?

Yep had this before and also the nasty redundancy process including making the only female of that team who was due on mat leave in 4 weeks time been made redundant knowing she didn't have the money to take them to tribunal (it was when you still had to pay).

Before this I did believe the "work family" ethos they spouted. I started job hunting the next day and was clear in my exit interview about my reasons.

I now work in a brilliant team, we do look out for each other but also respect each other as professionals and although some bits csn be frustrating I don't see me wanting to leave anytime soon.

fuck that shit. I bring the bit of me that gets paid to do my job to work.

I agree with someone who posted upthread that this BS peaked in 2020/21, along with declaring your pronouns. It was forced on me when I worked for a Big4 company and I hated it.
I am only willing to bring a highly sanitised version of myself to work. I have strong opinions on all sorts of things that wouldn't be acceptable in the modern workplace (see above and 'pronouns'!) so I keep them to myself.

Definitely not unreasonable.

A friend of mine had a mini film made about them by their company, celebrating their particular protected characteristic and speaking about progress and how great an employer the multinational company was.

A month or so after that they were made redundant.

Multinational company couldn't actually give a shit about any difficulty said friend might have experienced in life. They just wanted to milk their experience for some woke brownie points / points on the Stonewall scheme, and then dispose of them once they were no longer useful.

They wouldn't like it if I brought my whole self to work. I have to deliberately leave my best and funniest self at home because there are not many at work that would appreciate it.

They'll totally regret that when I turn up..🤣

Well that policy will change if everyone brought their children to work during school holidays 😆. Employees should do this en mass

It's grim isn't it. I worked somewhere like this and when I had a massive melt down and cried for four hours they were not at all warm and fuzzy and comforting. If they hadn't had all this mental health bullcrap I would have stayed home that day.

I loathe it. It panders to the navel gazers. I don't want you to bring your whole self to work , just bring the part that will do the work please, without the woke bullshit. Thank you very much.

Great thread and brilliant responses.
The only advantage of this if it is enforced on you is that it gives you a clear warning of who to avoid in the workplace - the emotionally incontinent, the manipulators, those trying to impose their niche ideology on everyone else, the guilt trippers etc.

The rest of us just getting on with our work - that's where our allies are!

If I'd ever brought my whole self to work, I'm pretty sure I would have been asked to tie it up outside.

My employer is paying for my time to get a job done, not to listen to my life story and weekend preferences. All they need to know is that I need a couple of coffees gets me started i the morning and not to ask me anything too deep before that sinks in (usually firing on all cylinders by 9am).

Strangely enough the only people that I know that get away with brining their whole selves to work are nasty, back stabbing bastards that suck up to the management who in turn protect them in their own nepotistic way.

This

I want people to bring their professional selves to work too. Couldn't work in a plave that does this.

In my branch of a large public organisation, the mental health first aider was also the key HR person, i.e. the individual who would be giving advice to management on how best to proceed if they wanted to manage you out.Then, I kid you not, they decided that all line managers should be trained as mental health first aiders.

I bring enough of myself to work so that they know my mum is terminally ill and I’m really the only family she has so I might need some flexibility. I leave the bit of myself at home that swears like a sailor and would tell people exactly how stupid they are.

That expression smacks of corporate bullshit.

As for opening up about your personal life, well, it's all very subjective. Some people are happy to share with their close friends, but not the entire office. Some people like to keep their work life entirely separate from their home life. And I've worked with the odd over-sharer, who doesn't spare us any boring detail about their domestic life. So long as you show up on time and do your work to an adequate standard, that's all that should be required of you.

I'm bringing the bit of me to work that can nod sympathetically while you tell me how difficult it is to come to work when the dog you stupidly bought in lock down, can't be left alone... or when you "suddenly" realise after 9 months of pregnancy and 12 months of maternity leave that you have no childcare, but would still like to be paid actually... I'll even bring the bit of me that can be absolutely accommodating about your insane need to take a mental health week when your boyfriend goes on a stag week with his pals. I won't bring the bit of me to work that risks telling you what I really think.

I always thought it meant you don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not (straight/NT/hugely brave about giving presentations etc) rather than share all your darkest secrets with your colleagues?

I feel for the managers in this. At our work, the earliest mention of a personal/out of work issue is met with a signpost to the EAP. I like it and I get it. They have enough to do without (feeling obliged to?) managing people's issues. It also gets the topic back on to work and helps to stay focussed.

Just bring your professional self to work.

So interesting,

For those of you whose workplaces tried to or have implemented this, how did they describe/define it?