To think nurseries seem depressing? Please help me narrow down

[pleaseguveadvicenotattack]

Posting for traffic and help regarding nurseries.

I’ve viewed 8 now and I don’t feel comfortable really leaving my child in any of them. They all seem a bit depressing! However, given I want my child to interact with other children I’ll overlook my concerns as this is my priority. I will also need it likely only 2-3 days a week.

This first nursery has a lot going for it. It has an "Outstanding" Ofsted rating and is owned by an ex-headteacher. It celebrates different cultural events, which is important to me, with events like Chinese New Year and Ramadan. They also have parent Saturdays and family days, which is a nice touch. I haven't seen this level of inclusivity at other nurseries and my child being mixed race in an overwhelming white area, these inclusions even if only on a small level, are somewhat important to me. They seem to offer a tailored childcare approach with twice-daily outdoor time and onsite cook and encourage light risk play which I think is important.

However, I do have a couple of concerns. Firstly, there's no dedicated sleep area, and I saw a child sleeping on their front. This worries me a bit, although the child did seem older (over 1 years old), unlike another nursery I viewed which had a supervised child at 8 months on their front which immediately put me off (I don’t know if I’m being silly!) Secondly, the nursery felt a bit cold and clinical.

The second nursery has a "Good" Ofsted rating. The children seemed happy and there was a generally good vibe. However, there was a smell at the entrance, mold in the baby room, a staff member I wasn't sure about (he appeared quite dopey and all of the staff seemed very young and inexperienced), and an overflowing skip outside. The Ofsted report also mentioned they need to improve consistency of support and encourage independence.

The third nursery has a bright and airy environment, focuses on learning, and has an onsite cook. It seems like there would be lots of interaction for older children and it did seem lively for older children. It had the most inviting and clean atmosphere and the staff seemed switched on and mature. However, there's a long waitlist which is also a good sign I guess - my child would be 1.5 years old before being able to go which is longer than I hoped, and the location is slightly more inconvenient. They haven’t had an Ofsted visit since 2019.

Which nursery would you choose and why?

Have you had any experiences with nurseries like these that you can share?

Any advice appreciated.

Once babies can roll both ways it is safe for them to sleep how they position themselves, providing it is on a flat firm (as in not squashy) surface

It makes a huge difference, at settings they never leave children on their own with a single adult - it’s always two people minimum looking after children,
i want my child to be always supervised with two adults minimum in the same room,

nurseries are designed to have open windows/ walls so you can hear what’s happening int the bathrooms, kitchen , play room

I can never leave my child at childminder / but if you feel comfortable that’s great you do it/ this is my opinion and I’m entitled to it

@Butterfly1947 of course you're entitled to your opinion.
You just worded your opinion a bit odd.

*Butterfly1947 · Today 22:03

Needmorelego · Today 20:24
** sorry but what's issue with a childminder using her adult son for the admin side?
What difference does that make?
It makes a huge difference, at settings they never leave children on their own with a single adult - it’s always two people minimum looking after children,
i want my child to be always supervised with two adults minimum in the same room*

So childminder plus adult son = 2 adults? Still don't understand your issue. Is it because the son is male? Nurseries can have male staff.

Nurseries do not often guarantee two adults in the same room at all times.

@Umbrellah DC isn't born yet and someone still has to take them to the groups!

you really don't know anything about childminders

I have learnt from experience to go with the least amount of babies in the room. Even if a nursery has a good ratio from staff to child so 9 staff to 18 children 1:2 there is still 9 people. You need a room with 3/4 members of permanent staff so each staff member has the time to get to know your baby personally. So the smaller the nursery the better.

Main thing is do not accept a nursery that uses bank staff. Permanent staff only.

The ones I've been to have six babies in baby room and 1:3 ratio

What sold me on my childminder was another mum who's child went to her and said when she was on mat leave she genuinely thought the three kids CM was with at playgroup were her own children as she was so attentive with them!

Either way, my DD shouts "YAAYY!!" at the top of her voice every time we drop her off, and even asks if she can go visit her CM at weekends (which is a bit embarrassing for us, her parents), so I know she loves it there.

OP - I personally think a CM is better because kids need a consistent 1-2-1 bond with a caregiver, but there are bad nurseries AND bad CMs, so you really need to visit a load of both and make your own judgement.

But you said you want to send her there to socialise? Which suggests you don’t need to send but you want to just for socialising?

3 if you can wait. 1 if you can't.

I preferred a nursery to a childminder because I felt worried about a childminder not having any other adult around to whistleblow if things weren't being done right. I just felt more comfortable with a nursery where there would be multiple adults.

I'd say find a childminder. Go to toddler groups and watch them and pick one you see doing a good job. I'm a childminder and I've worked in nursery in the past. I would never send my child to a nursery no matter how good it look on viewing. There are some not great childminders too but that becomes obvious when you see them at toddler groups and they are not aware you are considering them as childcare!

We don't actually live in a multi cultural environment, the people who say we do think culture is nothing more than superficiality, different food, outfits and music. When it comes to the real stuff of culture, values, it appears that an omniculture is preffered, not real diversity, which isn't always harmonious

I have no objection to learning about other cultures, but it seems to be at the expense of learning about our own. Multi culturalism seems to be anti-culture

As someone who at 17, no qualifications and no references, was left to 'supervise the sleepers' while everyone else went to lunch, I can assure you that nurseries do not always have two members of staff in the room at the same time!

So you mainly need childcare, not socialisation?

I'd look at all the options, OP. And do a bit of reading about child development, it'll make it all so much easier (and more interesting imo).

Do you think Japan should be more diverse and inclusive?

Could not have predicted that question at the start of this thread 😂.

I think you win for 'most off topic question'.

This. It's also worth saying that nursery workers are usually inexperienced/on minimum wage - childminders make more money, as do nannies. So most nursery workers who are very good or want to progress end up becoming either a childminder or nanny as a next step

We’re a multi cultural family - neither DH or I were born in the uk and DT’s grew up trilingual. After nursery they went to an international school and had friends from over 30 nationalities.

What cultures would you want your DC’s to discover at nursery?

You can't force a baby to sleep on their back once they can roll so I wouldn't worry about that.

Either 1 or 3 would be fine. Though personally I don't think nurseries are the ideal form of childcare for a child under 2.5/3ish unless you have no other option due to work.

That's not true at all, I've worked at several nurseries and have been alone with single children or groups of children at all of them.

I think looking for childcare while pregnant with no kids is different to looking once the baby has arrived. Maybe I am speaking from personal experience but when pregnant I thought I had found suitable childcare (had registered and paid the deposit etc) but once baby arrived my whole plan and needs changed. I started looking around childcare
options again once baby arrived and had a completely different plan, I seen things in a different way. Something to consider…

Children can sleep safely on their front as soon as they can safely roll over and back again. For most children this is around 7-9 months, so your criteria around 1 year olds sleeping on their front can be dropped.

Ask them how they manage the sleep spaces; at our nursery they have little bed pods they pull out and they dim the lights.

You don’t have to put your child in a nursery if you don’t want to. Mine went to a mix of childminders and. Nursery. I found childminders much better until they were 3 as it was a homely environment, still with other kids but with more one to one interaction with an adult and feedback on what they had done that day. Trips out instead of staying in the same environment every day etc

I'd keep looking. Our DS starts at nursery in April, one we looked at based on the recommendation of several friends and when we visited we got a very good feeling. Warm and homely and the children all seemed happy and engaged. A focus on imaginative and low risk play. Each room has its own sensory garden with age appropriate toys and activities. The babies have a dedicated sleep room and the toddlers sleep on mats indoors in winter and outdoors under a huge UV shade in summer (this particularly appealed to Scandinavian DH). They go to the nearby beach and park often and have a relationship with the adjacent retirement village / care home so visit there from time to time. The process and communication so far has been excellent.

As much as going back to work and leaving him worried me I'm also a bit excited for the adventures and experiences he'll have there.

I also didn't like the idea of a childminder for 2 reasons, the first practically being if the childminder is ill or on holiday then we have to accommodate that with work, the second being that in the extremely unlikely scenario there is a bad egg staff wise, at least there are other staff to see / call out in a nursery.