To think nurseries seem depressing? Please help me narrow down

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Posting for traffic and help regarding nurseries.

I’ve viewed 8 now and I don’t feel comfortable really leaving my child in any of them. They all seem a bit depressing! However, given I want my child to interact with other children I’ll overlook my concerns as this is my priority. I will also need it likely only 2-3 days a week.

This first nursery has a lot going for it. It has an "Outstanding" Ofsted rating and is owned by an ex-headteacher. It celebrates different cultural events, which is important to me, with events like Chinese New Year and Ramadan. They also have parent Saturdays and family days, which is a nice touch. I haven't seen this level of inclusivity at other nurseries and my child being mixed race in an overwhelming white area, these inclusions even if only on a small level, are somewhat important to me. They seem to offer a tailored childcare approach with twice-daily outdoor time and onsite cook and encourage light risk play which I think is important.

However, I do have a couple of concerns. Firstly, there's no dedicated sleep area, and I saw a child sleeping on their front. This worries me a bit, although the child did seem older (over 1 years old), unlike another nursery I viewed which had a supervised child at 8 months on their front which immediately put me off (I don’t know if I’m being silly!) Secondly, the nursery felt a bit cold and clinical.

The second nursery has a "Good" Ofsted rating. The children seemed happy and there was a generally good vibe. However, there was a smell at the entrance, mold in the baby room, a staff member I wasn't sure about (he appeared quite dopey and all of the staff seemed very young and inexperienced), and an overflowing skip outside. The Ofsted report also mentioned they need to improve consistency of support and encourage independence.

The third nursery has a bright and airy environment, focuses on learning, and has an onsite cook. It seems like there would be lots of interaction for older children and it did seem lively for older children. It had the most inviting and clean atmosphere and the staff seemed switched on and mature. However, there's a long waitlist which is also a good sign I guess - my child would be 1.5 years old before being able to go which is longer than I hoped, and the location is slightly more inconvenient. They haven’t had an Ofsted visit since 2019.

Which nursery would you choose and why?

Have you had any experiences with nurseries like these that you can share?

Any advice appreciated.

Id go with nursery number 1. It’s likely the child rolled themselves onto their front especially if they are over 1. My DC has been rolling onto their front/ sleeping on their front since about 9 months. It’s fine to sleep like that if they roll themselves.

definitely a child minder until at least 18 months.

I’d go on the waiting list for 3 if you have time to wait, if not then 1.

I live in an area that seems to have nurseries everywhere and I viewed 20+. The one I initially chose seemed great and had an outstanding ofstead report but was awful by the time child actually started and I removed him immediately and it was closed down shortly afterwards. The main things I’d look out for is cleanliness, safety measures (gates, pick up procedure etc). And most importantly how the staff interact with you/your child/ vibe you get.

Choose a setting that meets your child's needs whether that's a nursery or childminder. Mine loved open space and being active so I chose one with large rooms and a good outdoor area. It's very individual (though don't choose no 2 of course...)

You can educate/involve your child in cultural events in the community or at home. It seems a strange thing to base your choice on

Keep looking. Go with what seems safest and cleanest with the most staff and not too many very young ones. That’s the priority. I was never comfortable with a childminder. With my first I think I viewed about ten nurseries. Saw all manner of questionable and downright dangerous things. The one she went to was cosy had lovely sunny rooms, staff who weren’t quite so young and an onsite cook. She was very happy there.

I understand your anxiety for finding the best nursery - I’m the same.
However, I will never put my child at a childminder - I had couple of flyers through my door where a child minder was advertising herself and her son in 30s being the admin. Oh gosh - never ! I won’t be able to rest for a day.

at nursery they cctv, you have whistle blowing policy, managers, deputy - in my opinion nurseries are safer but try to find the best one for your little one

1 sounds fine, 3 sounds better. Are there any other nurseries you can visit? I visited a few that were depressing and was resigned to one, but then found another that was very outdoorsy, free flow to the garden, Forest School, with lovely, mainly older staff. I cried a little as I walked in the door as it felt so warm and welcoming and I knew I'd found the right place.

Children sleeping on their fronts is fine once they can roll. A nap room is fine or curricles or mats in the main room is fine too - they'll have quiet time after lunch when most will asleep somewhere.

I didn't fancy a childminder because I saw them at toddler groups on mat leave and didn't think they were paying enough attention to the children. I also preferred lots of pairs of eyes vs one person in their house unobserved. We use a childminder now for school pick ups and she's great, but I don't think I'd have wanted my son there as a toddler - it's a very small room and they go out in the car a lot rather than grubbing around in the mud. My son is 6 now and remembers nursery and his key workers very fondly.

@Butterfly1947 sorry but what's issue with a childminder using her adult son for the admin side?
What difference does that make?

There isn't a right answer with the nursery Vs CM debate.

It totally depends on the provision in your area.

We're past that stage now but between them, my DC went to a total of 2 nurseries and 4 CMs.

1 of the nurseries and 2 of the CMs were absolutely outstanding.

The other nursery was a bit shit and the other 2 CMs were fine.

If you're not keen on the nurseries, go visit some local CMs and see what they're like. You have nothing to lose, and you might find someone really special.

Nurseries are depressing if you're looking for a space for a baby.

Why are you so concerned about your child spending time with other children to the extent you're willing to send them somewhere you know isn't very good? Are you a recluse? If not, I guarantee your child is getting sufficient socialisation from you and the people you interact with on a daily basis. Do please read up about child development and their need (or more precisely their lack of need) for other children the same age.

On the sleeping on the front side:

Dd2 flipped onto her front the second you put her down from about 3 months old. She is missing her hand, so easier to do so. I persisted putting her onto her back until she was about 6 months, but gave up at that point because she would always flip over within seconds and sometimes that woke her up enough that she didn't go back to sleep.
Dd1 always stayed on her back, and ds used to squirm until he was on his side

Interestingly they're adults now and dd1 sleeps on her back, dd2 on her front and ds on his side.

I’d go for nursery number 1. Toddlers sleep on their tummy. You’re massively over thinking!

Our nursery was lovely, the babies slept in prams outside.

Where I work only the babies have a dedicated sleeping area. Once they are toddling and have dropped a morning nap they move to a room with a set nap time and sleep within the room in thick mats. These mats are set up while the children eat lunch in another part of the room. They have their own sleep bags and teddies/ soothers or whatever they need. At age 2 they move again and it's a similar arrangement but they all use uniform blankets. I don't think a dedicated sleeping area to a child over 1 is the norm anywhere. It would double the rent of a unit and make it uneconomical.

Edited to add the children sleep whatever way they are comfortable. They are helped to lie down on their back then they move into their comfortable position and are left there. You can't dictate a child's sleeping position once they can move.

There are of course some excellent nurseries.

However. I chose a childminder my kids had incredible loving care from an adult they grew to love . My childminder was like a family member by the end of our time .

It was a bust family type setting they were constantly with other children and made friends for life.

It was important for us as we live in a multi cultural environment and I wanted my DC’s to be a part of these events.

Why wouldn’t you?

They use basket type things that are portable but yes the one child was sleeping next to the others playing

Also agree don't use childcare just for socialising. Not necessary.

Not all nurseries are the same. DT’s went full time from six months old and their nursery and the staff were amazing.

If you don't need to do it for childcare then why wouldn't you just take your DC to baby groups etc to be around other children? Make mum friends, have playdates etc.

It’s true, not sure why that would be so odd?! It’s very important to me because I don’t think we will be having more children so wanted them to socialise but as others say this apparently doesn’t matter until 2 anyway - I didn’t know this

Diverse is inprotant to me because the area I live in is not diverse at all, so some bits of inclusion I like. Not sure why this is such an odd thing either? It’s not my main priority but was a nice touch that they are so inclusive

He can interact in loads of other places other than nursery

Nurseries ARE depressing, they make me think of orphanages. Childminders are a much more natural setting.

I’d go with 1 personally; ours has a cot room for babies up to 18 months and after that they have a little area they sleep on mats in the corner. I pickup at lunchtime and there are always kids absolutely spark out, it doesn’t phase them at all. I’m also not sure how old your child is but sleeping on their front isn’t remotely a problem once they can get there themselves (ie they roll there rather than you put them there). Anyway my point is that given the positives of 1, I wouldn’t let the sleep situation put you off.

I also don’t agree with some PP that all nurseries are depressing for babies. I looked at 4, 2 felt a bit clinical and 2 had a warmth and cosiness, and generally made me feel cosy and welcome. Still can’t quite put my finger on why the first 2 didn’t feel like that, but I think a lot is down to the size of the room (e.g the nursery I went with has a max of 8 babies with 4 staff).

This is a good point. Number 1 and 3 both had at least the person showing me around with long service. Number 1 had ten years