To not tell friend about weight loss jab

[Arrivals4lucky]

For the past 6 months I’ve been on a health ‘journey’ - had a lot of weight to lose and decided to do it with the help of a weight loss medication. It’s been transformative for me because I didn’t realise ‘food noise’ was a thing until it was taken away by the medication. I’m under medical supervision & paying for the jab privately. I’m going slow and steady but at the point where the loss is becoming noticeable to others.

one of our circle, someone I see weekly cos of kids is VERY judgy about people’s weight, about obese people etc and has vocally said that overweight people need to do something about it while simultaneously saying jabs are cheating etc.This has never been aimed at me, BTW. and usually someone else changes the subject.

She can be really lovely and obvs this is to do with her own food issues etc so while it’s the one thing I don’t like about her, I don’t let it get to me.

I think my health is my own business. I don’t want to tell people what I’m doing etc. DP says, they’ll notice and they’ll ask so just tell them you’re taking meds and it’s helped. Why be embarrassed?

YABU - tell your friends.

YANBU - keep it private. People
will judge.

Just because it’s so quick. My friend lost 1 stone in her first 3 weeks and 6 stone in 8 months. It happens much much faster than the usual dieting losses of say 1-2lbs a week.

I think if someone is taking steps to lose weight for their health and wellbeing and they have found dieting too hard, there’s absolutely no shame in taking a medicine to help. Anyone who looks down on that is being a bit weird. It’s not cheating, it’s just caring enough about yourself to try something else if other avenues haven’t worked for you. Good on you and you don’t need to tell anyone if you are worried people are going to be weird about it. My only concern would be too quick weight loss or losing too much weight. Sharon Osbourne has not had the best experience. But Sometimes the benefits outweigh the risk. Being overweight is a health risk.

I’m 2lbs a week every week but
am deliberately taking a low dose to make sure it’s not too fast and making sure I eat enough to keep a balanced diet.
with no appetite it would be easier to barely eat but that’s obvs no good for the body…

It's your business nobody else's. If you have read any of the odious judgy posts on here from “concerned" 🙄people, you will keep it that way.

You just know if you tell her she will lord over you that •you’ve “ not lost the weight yourself and she will probably get a kick out of telling people how you’ve lost it rather than being a supporter of the fact you’ve lost it .

You don’t need people like this in your life so maybe lose the weight AND your “ friend “

"or because you want the praise from having lost weight without "cheating", or because you have managed to convince yourself that you could have done it without the jabs (or any other reason).“

Do fuck right off.
Nobody on jabs is wanting praise for losing weight with or without cheating.

And nobody taking jabs thinks they could do it on their own.
They are well aware that they can't which is why they are spending a fucking fortune to take the things in the fucking first place.

What about anti depressants. If someone’s mood has improved and people comment they are glad to see them back to their old self, do you think it’s lying if they
say something about self care rather than disclose they have been prescribed an anti depressant?

I would never expect anyone to disclose their medical treatment to me. It’s really strange you expect this

Good point , also , is taking an anti depressant to improve mood cheating ? Of course not. Sometimes people just need a helping hand to improve their wellbeing.

Sounds like you’re being careful and getting enough nutrition, I say good on you for taking action rather than giving up on weightloss. Self care is to be praised, not judged. It’s a shame some people are being judgmental over weight loss medication. It stops people from sharing their good experience of it, which might have encouraged others who are really struggling with their weight to also get a bit of medical help for the sake of their health.

Don't tell her, keep an air of mystery. Let her believe that you are motivated and dedicated to your goal (which you are) without her judging you unfairly.

Lying about this is socially bad for the exact same reason -- it creates a false impression of how depression is treated, which can affect the decision of other people due to their distorted reality.

If you are depressed and considering going on anti-depressants, and then suddenly all the depressed people you know magically get better overnight and claim to have done it drug-free just by thinking about sunshine and rainbows and starting an exercise regime, then you are going to start second-guessing yourself aoout whether anti-depressants are a good idea.

Lots of fat people want to lose weight, which is why there is such a big market for diet plans, etc. It would be better if fat people had a correct idea about what sort of things generally worked, rather than being given a false impression by everyone lying to them.

(to be clear, I dont think you have any obligation to tell people you are depressed in the first place. But if someone knows that you are depressed and then sees you get better, then I think lying about how you achieved this is bad)

If they want that info they can go to their doctor. They may have health issues where certain meds may not agree with them. It's not up to others to advise.

This is your own business and you don't need to explain it to anyone.

People are much more affected by the things they see around them in daily life, than they are by articles in medical journals or advice from doctors. Seeing people in your social circle achieve something is often a huge source of motivation (whether thats losing a weight, starting a business, whatever). So if all your friends lose weight and (falsely) tell you that they done it purely through Diet Plan X then that is likely to have a big effect on you. Thats more or less just how humans work.

You choose what you tell other people. If it’s someone you know is judgy on this, I wouldn’t. I did WLI previously (and regained all the weight 😭) and am starting again. Last time I told my DH and sisters at the time, and I told one friend after I had gained the weight back as she was considering doing it herself and I know she is not judgemental so I shared my experience with her.

This time I haven’t told anyone, not even my DH. It’s only been a week, I will tell people if and when I want to.

Its basically the same as a 25 year old buying their first house in an expensive area and claiming that they managed to achieve this purely by hard work and avoiding avocado toast , while forgetting to mention parents gave them £200k for free.

These sort of lies just completely distort people's perceptions of what is/isnt easy to achieve.

I have found that people who know your secrets and want you to disclose them, do so because they’ve been blabbing and want to cover it up.

To be perfectly honest it may be referencing to her to have a conversation with someone (and no offense met to the OP) where someone does not speak of weight loss jabs, sure nothing to be ashamed of but seems like that is all anyone ever speaks of these days

I haven't told very many people at all. DH. A couple of friends (but literally a couple).

It's no one's business but my own.

(FWIW, I also do not going around discussing my weight loss. I think it's just so rude when people ask me about it blatantly. Just because something is visible doesn't mean that it is up for discussion!)

WLI still require a lot of work and I have been very active about lifestyle changes.

Ir's basically totally different. What a stupid comment.

Proper grown ups do what's best for them, particularly medically, and generally stop copying their mates sometime before leaving high school.

It's not lying, it's not telling people medical information they have no need or right to know. I wouldn't go round telling people I was on anti-depressants either!

OP your friend sounds sooooo irritating and I don't blame you for not wanting to share your private medical info with her.

I think you do whatever feels right to you. It is absolutely nobody's business but yours.

Having said that, I wonder if talking about weight loss medication is a bit like the early days of online dating or IVF - both were hidden/secret/stigmatized things that are now openly discussed and are seen as normative parts of life. I hope the same happens for weight and medication. But until then she can mind her own business!

‘"or because you want the praise from having lost weight without "cheating", or because you have managed to convince yourself that you could have done it without the jabs (or any other reason).“’

I don’t want or need praise thanks very much. As I said before I have never talked to anyone about my weight, I don’t discuss anything around diets or food, I’m not interested in any of that. I play a sport and that’s the only time I even really talk about exercising.

And quite frankly, if I could have managed to get where I am now without spending the money, and without suffering the side effects I would have done it.

This has beee a massive kick start for me after a really difficult lit few years, where I put on a lot of weight.

The ideal for me would be I get to. Healthy weight, maintain that and no-one even bloody mentions it! Part of the reason I’m in the lowest dose possible and sticking with that to maintain a slow ish loss.