If someone says “I work in A&E”

[whyeyeeyeeyeeye]

Then do you presume

a) he’s a doctor and doesn’t want people to know so he doesn’t get bothered with child illness/fever questions etc

b) he does another role in A&E and wants to keep it vague for another reason

DH and I were chatting to a dad at a kids’ party at the weekend and we came away from the conversation with different views. I’m a - if I were a doctor in A&E no way would I want all my kid’s friends’ parents knowing.

I'm an ED consultant, and often say "I work in A&E", as it avoids being told someone's entire life history... Everyone assumes I'm a nurse, given I'm female

However I've also seen people (usually men), use it to make themselves sound more important, so hard to know...

Try the @NeverDropYourMooncup method, it's pretty accurate 😂

A parent from my dd school used to say she works in our local hospital.
I had no idea what department or anything then when I had my last baby I found out she was a midwife and she ended up being my midwife.

I have 5 drs in my friendship group/family and this doesn't ring true with me. The GPs especially completely avoid telling people what they do for work, as it can become tedious.

Ok I'll crack. What do you do? 😅

I’m 50:50 - I used to have a senior role in finance and when doing the dating scene always told people I ‘work in a bank’ - wasn’t a complete red flag when people made assumptions on what I was doing there but was an interesting social experiment weeded out some really misogynistic arseholes

The two doctors I know as friends will say they are doctors if asked but they don't just randomly insert into conversation as a brag. I did used to know one who did this. It was a man of course. One of the funniest things I've seen though was him being flustered at being met at a party with a (younger) woman who was doing the one profession that apparently strikes insecurity into arrogant consultants. Can you guess?

The answer is...

Statistician.

See upthread, I guessed she works in the mortuary.....

I don't get why it was jarring, it seems like a normal response to me amongst people not known very well. You're over-thinking it.

Honestly I wouldn’t have put any thought into it, it’s weird that you’re debating this.

Ultimately any public sector worker will want to keep a degree of privacy about their lives. I worked for the government and was similarly generic, polite enough to answer the question posed but generic enough to not be identifiable if I didn’t want to be identified. Obviously my actual friends (ie not randoms in the form of you) know where I work and what I do.

DS2 used to work in A&E as a nurse, he always said he worked at the hospital. He still does, just in a different job.

When he and DDIL bought their house he was talking to one of the neighbours who asked him what they did. He told him they both work at the hospital (both nurses). Within days it had got round that DDIL was a nurse and DS2 was a surgeon which was funny because he was 23 at the time.

Do you also find, outside work, even if you introduce yourself as Dr people insist on calling you Mrs? (as if marital status was relevant)
BUT they seem to remember DH is Dr not Mr.
Go figure.

I really don't believe that people now bombard professionals with their 'complaints and problems' - unless they have zero social skills.

I have friends who are pharmacists, counsellors, child psychologists etc and they are never asked 'professional' questions.

I wouldn't assume doctor. It wouldn't even cross my mind that they were "being vague" deliberately, just that it isn't really relevant whether they're a doctor, nurse or some other medical position in A+E so they didn't feel the need to specify.

If it turned out they were a receptionist or cleaner etc, I'd roll my eyes a little if they said “I work in A+E” without further detail.

I wouldn't assume anything if it was just small talk with another parent. If was interested to know their role I'd just ask.

I’d never introduce myself as ‘Dr’ outside of work!

But I do find, at work, even when I introduce myself as the doctor and explain my role some people will still call me ‘nurse’ and ask when they’ll see the doctor.

I always introduce myself as an individual, not as attached to someone else, ie Mrs, but that’s what I get called. Guess society has a long way to come.

This.

They are lucky. I get semi regular texts saying 'would you mind asking your dr friend/family member' about this (proceeds to send photo/voice recording of child's cough etc). It's really common. Especially if they are a GP.

Doctor, nurse, porter, receptionist, cleaner - all important in A&E, but I would have probably asked

I am a GP in a small place… having lunch cafe with husband… woman pulls up chair and proceeds to talk about her haemorrhoids.. I kid you not.

You sound awfully sure about that, but have you actually asked your friends or are you just assuming?

Most doctors i met would just say they are doctors or would mention the specialism (e.g."I am a dentist ","I am a surgeon"). They wouldn't say "oh, I work in healthcare/hospital/A&E". I wouldn't assume they are a doctor if they introduced with B.

Doctor at a kid's party? -Definitely A.

It's a nightmare scenario for a doctor, you just want to chill and you are bombarded with people wanting to ask you about a rash.

It's similar dating as a doctor. I'm a palliative care doctor. I married the first man who didn't immediately respond 'you must be very special/an angel to do that' or start telling me about his recent bereavement.

I would have continued the conversation and said, gosh that must be busy, what do you do? Surely that's the normal thing to do.