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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If someone says “I work in A&E”

151 replies

whyeyeeyeeyeeye · 24/02/2025 21:42

Then do you presume

a) he’s a doctor and doesn’t want people to know so he doesn’t get bothered with child illness/fever questions etc

b) he does another role in A&E and wants to keep it vague for another reason

DH and I were chatting to a dad at a kids’ party at the weekend and we came away from the conversation with different views. I’m a - if I were a doctor in A&E no way would I want all my kid’s friends’ parents knowing.

OP posts:
notnorman · 24/02/2025 23:26

BigSilly · 24/02/2025 23:14

In my experience most doctors can't go 5 minutes without bringing up they are a doctor

Oh god this. Or being 'a medic'. Got a family full of them 🙄

ashamedtramp · 24/02/2025 23:28

Might be a HCA who works in A&E, or a porter? Or receptionist? Or security? Did it not occur to you to ask?

I never tell people what I really do! I tell people I work in a call centre for a national security firm 😂😂

mdinbc · 24/02/2025 23:29

Hmm, the question must have been posed as 'where do you work' rather than 'what do you do'?

In a setting where people are mingling, most would ask 'what do you do for a living?' Maybe it's a cultural thing? Here is Canada we always ask what do you do. I would say I am a nurse, and where I work would be secondary info given. Same as medical clerk, etc. Even if I was a plumber, I would say I was a plumber, I wouldn't say I worked for a specific company.

xWren · 24/02/2025 23:30

whyeyeeyeeyeeye · 24/02/2025 21:42

Then do you presume

a) he’s a doctor and doesn’t want people to know so he doesn’t get bothered with child illness/fever questions etc

b) he does another role in A&E and wants to keep it vague for another reason

DH and I were chatting to a dad at a kids’ party at the weekend and we came away from the conversation with different views. I’m a - if I were a doctor in A&E no way would I want all my kid’s friends’ parents knowing.

I’d assume B.
I’ve met lots of people who claimed to be in the military/work for the Police/work for the NHS and they’ve all been very low down, low paid jobs.

I haven’t met an educated professional who “dumbed it down”.

However, given that he said this at a child’s party, I’d be tempted to guess A on this occasion.

LBFseBrom · 24/02/2025 23:38

It's his business. Did he volunteer that he worked in A&E, for a reason, or was he asked? I would never ask someone I only vaguely know what they do for a living. If you get to know somebody well they will naturally tell you.

I think him saying he works in A&E is enough information, depending on the context.

Nina1013 · 24/02/2025 23:47

I know a disproportionately large number of doctors (consultants with an handful of GPs thrown in) and I have never heard them describe themselves as anything other than doctors (most often consultants, and quite often their specialty). Based on this, I’d say the person is not a doctor.

Doctors I know also seem to spend a lot of time with other doctors and therefore generally don’t seem to assume everyone’s after a bit of ad hoc medical advice.

RawBloomers · 24/02/2025 23:49

It would depend on the context. If just discussing jobs I would probably think a doctor or nurse who doesn't want to be pestered by all the parents every time one of their kids gets a cough. I wouldn't think doctor any more than I'd think nurse. But if in the context of discussing a medical issue and it was some sort of claim of authority on the subject then I'd assume someone with no medical qualifications in a non-clinical role.

Blueink · 24/02/2025 23:59

I wouldn't presume either A or B, could be either. I hate boring chit chat conversations about people do for work, unless it has some direct relevance to what we are speaking about, who cares.

Travelodge · 25/02/2025 00:01

Perhaps he’s the A&E phone answerer.

I once met someone who said "I fly out of Heathrow". I assumed he was a pilot, but a few years later I met him again, purely by chance, on a flight. He was a flight attendant.

Devianinc · 25/02/2025 00:03

whyeyeeyeeyeeye · 24/02/2025 21:42

Then do you presume

a) he’s a doctor and doesn’t want people to know so he doesn’t get bothered with child illness/fever questions etc

b) he does another role in A&E and wants to keep it vague for another reason

DH and I were chatting to a dad at a kids’ party at the weekend and we came away from the conversation with different views. I’m a - if I were a doctor in A&E no way would I want all my kid’s friends’ parents knowing.

Where I live it would be arts and entertainment, in the acting or film industry.

Blueink · 25/02/2025 00:04

mdinbc · 24/02/2025 23:29

Hmm, the question must have been posed as 'where do you work' rather than 'what do you do'?

In a setting where people are mingling, most would ask 'what do you do for a living?' Maybe it's a cultural thing? Here is Canada we always ask what do you do. I would say I am a nurse, and where I work would be secondary info given. Same as medical clerk, etc. Even if I was a plumber, I would say I was a plumber, I wouldn't say I worked for a specific company.

I would clearly hate living in Canada or just have to isolate myself at home! It's bad enough in the UK, but weather conversations still dominate and are preferable.

Mnetcurious · 25/02/2025 00:04

I’d assume it was a non-medical/non patient-facing job. I’ve noticed how since the pandemic, people just love to say “I work for the NHS” like a badge of honour. The doctors, nurses, paramedics etc absolutely have my respect, admiration and gratitude. Someone who works 9-5 Mon-Fri in a finance department (or similar) that happens to be part of the NHS, really does not.

Devianinc · 25/02/2025 00:05

Devianinc · 25/02/2025 00:03

Where I live it would be arts and entertainment, in the acting or film industry.

Lol

Dontlletmedownbruce · 25/02/2025 00:06

I would assume nurse or some other nurse related role.

A doctor doesn't 'work', they 'are'. Only people I've ever met who fully identify by their job.

Reugny · 25/02/2025 00:07

DazzlingCuckoos · 24/02/2025 22:24

Based on an ex of mine I'd assume they were a porter trying to make their job sound more exciting!

That's my bad experience shining through though!

All the porters I have met have said they are porters.

Everyone else has been more cryptic until I know them better.

crockofshite · 25/02/2025 00:25

Travelodge · 25/02/2025 00:01

Perhaps he’s the A&E phone answerer.

I once met someone who said "I fly out of Heathrow". I assumed he was a pilot, but a few years later I met him again, purely by chance, on a flight. He was a flight attendant.

Someone once told me they worked in the aviation industry. Turned out he was a flight attendant.

BlondiePortz · 25/02/2025 00:31

Yes i know people do it but no i can't understand why people would think someome wants to see a boil on a backside at a party or that people have so little intelligence that means 'i work in A&E' means a person is automatically a doctor

People who do this i wonder what level of schooling they have reached

ilovesushi · 25/02/2025 00:52

Wouldn't presume anything. Whatever the role, it has to be a crazily challenging environment to work in.

CarolinaWren · 25/02/2025 00:55

My first thought would be a lower level job, maybe janitor or receptionist, and the person is hoping you think they do something more impressive.

LeafofLorien · 25/02/2025 02:15

This is exactly what I say when asked about my job. Just 'I work in A+E' and hope the conversation moves on. I'm an advanced clinical practitioner, used to be a nurse, not a doctor, but nobody really knows what it is and I'm sick of explaining the role when people ask. I hope the answer is vague enough that I don't have to look at someone's weird mole or rash or listen to their medical backstory on my day off.

AnxiouslyAwaitingSpring · 25/02/2025 02:31

@NeverDropYourMooncup 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You definitely work for the NHS 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

AffIt · 25/02/2025 02:39

I have an extremely specialist IT role, but I've yet to work out how to say 'I work in IT' without somebody asking me how to fix their knackered laptop.

I'm not a hardware engineer.

LunaTheCat · 25/02/2025 03:49

NeverDropYourMooncup · 24/02/2025 22:20

Well, let's go for some stereotypes.

About 33, looking slightly dishevelled, knackered car out front, probably a doctor or nurse.

Floppy hair, mountain bike and trailer for kids out front, crinkles round the cheeks just below where the sunglasses go, about 39-42 - A&E Bike Bro/experienced Reg or fairly new consultant.

About 50 but unsure as he looks very young at the same time, natural tan, perfect teeth, expensive watch, shoes and gloriously impractical red Alpha out front - probably senior consultant. Confirmed once he gets onto the subject of obscure Delta Blues musicians or mentions they're driving down to a place with boats that isn't Dover over Easter.

Looks like normal person, normal car, clothes from generic stores, relaxing without a care in the world whilst the kids tear lumps out of one another under the pretext of playing Star Wars or football - more likely reception.

Built like brick shithouse, tends to automatically offer to carry things or help set the bouncy castle up with A Look that can stop squabbling children dead in their paces at 30 foot - security or nurse practitioner.

Sits at back with the unerring ability to spot who has a bad back, who has hayfever, who isn't looking right and needs to be guided into a chair/doctor called or seamlessly manoeveures the pushchairs, buggies and deliveries into impossibly small spaces without a single dink on the doorframes - Porters.

This is hilarious. …
in addition if you find a bicycle pump and helmet in the toilet its because the anaesthetist has been vaporised.

Bearbookagainandagain · 25/02/2025 05:59

I would assume anything. If the conversation was about what work we do, then I probably would follow up with "oh, and what do you do?", because working in "A&E" isn't an actual answer.

Queenofparcels · 25/02/2025 06:10

TaggieO · 24/02/2025 22:01

I usually just say I work in a hospital because lots of people find even the description of my job distressing.

So you're a mortuary technician ?