If someone says “I work in A&E”

[whyeyeeyeeyeeye]

Then do you presume

a) he’s a doctor and doesn’t want people to know so he doesn’t get bothered with child illness/fever questions etc

b) he does another role in A&E and wants to keep it vague for another reason

DH and I were chatting to a dad at a kids’ party at the weekend and we came away from the conversation with different views. I’m a - if I were a doctor in A&E no way would I want all my kid’s friends’ parents knowing.

I'd presume B, I've known a fair few doctors and they've always said they're doctors when it's came up. I'd presume they have a job title that most people wouldn't understand easily so they don't bother to give it exactly.

Ditto,
I used to work as an Allied Health Professional and when I said what I did, in social situations people almost started getting undressed because they had this lump/spot/pain/red area that they were bothered about.

Now I'm retired and I can just say "I'm retired"😁

I’m a hospital consultant but when asked about my job I always keep it vague and say “I work in the hospital”. Most people either make a comment like “oh, busy place” or say “oh you’re a nurse” and move on.

The reasons I don’t volunteer that I’m a doctor are that I just don’t want the inevitable conversation about their medical history, their aunt’s neighbour’s cousin’s medical history, or their opinion on my specialty (I’m a psychiatrist. Everyone thinks they’re an expert in this field). Lastly, if it’s in the context of dealing with tradesmen etc there can be a premium if they know what I do.

Most of my medical friends are the same. I don’t recognise the stereotype here of ‘doctors will always tell you they’re doctors’, tbh.

I wouldn't presume anything I would say "Oh that must be a stressful job, what's your role?"

B because most people working in A&E aren’t doctors so it’s a numbers thing plus it’s easier just to say Dr otherwise.

i wouldnt assume doctor
surely if they were a doctor they would say so

I presume B. Dozens of doctor parents at DD’s school (private prep in between three large London hospitals) and not one of them has ever been vague about being a doctor. The A&e consultants say “I’m an A&e consultant”. The only people I’ve ever met who are vague like that are ones with slightly less common nhs roles eg podiatric surgical assistant or anaesthetist technician.

@sammylady37 good point, the two psychiatrist parents at school are the only two who offer a non specific “I’m a doctor”‘rather than their specialty!

I would assume probably doctor or nurse in A&E and not particularly hiding it?!

I'm a teacher, and I often say "I work in a boarding school" 🤷‍♀️

Why wouldn't he just say?

Because generally people are arseholes.

When I worked A&E, if asked, I would just say I worked in Health. If people pushed I’d say hospital work, if they kept going I’d say A&E, but at thst stage I’d be pretty annoyed. If they then asked doing what in A&E I’d tell them clinician and ask them why they are interested, and I wasn’t aware I was having a job interview.

The reason people don’t say is because invariably, on saying this, they will talk non stop about whatever rash they have, expect you to look and comment and will refuse to take the hint that you don’t give a shit. Then when little Johnny skins their knee they will march them over to you - so that you can convince them little Johnny doesn’t need to be rushed off in an ambulance, it just needs a wash, which you don’t need to be involved in, and no, no bandaging from ankle to hip is not required.

One of my kids used to play a sport that was pretty brutal in the senior years, for which it wasn’t uncommon for someone to be bused off from each game. Funnily, most teams had a parent that was from A&E, ICU or something relevant so we had an unofficial roster and we would very happily and willingly assess injuries and start working on anyone who needed it. That is a choice though, completely different to some random expecting medical advice at a BBQ after demanding to know what you do.

A. My DSis is a pharmacist and never tells people what she does as she has to spend the next hour listening to their ailments.

This

It's sexist to presume he's a doctor.

Why do you need to know??

Maybe he was being vague as you put it - because he thought you were being nosey and didn't want to talk about work.

I wouldn’t assume anything based on that.
He could have various roles and could also just not want to elaborate for many reasons.

I’d definitely assume B, and find it annoying as assume he was trying to imply he was a doctor.

But my view is coloured by someone I know who does this!

It was a general conversation with a few parents about work, kids, how long we’d been in the area, the weather…classic small talk topics! I promise this man wasn’t being interrogated. It was just slightly jarring and I wondered how MNetters would have interpreted it

I presume B. Dozens of doctor parents at DD’s school (private prep in between three large London hospitals) and not one of them has ever been vague about being a doctor. The A&e consultants say “I’m an A&e consultant”

That can backfire. I put my job down at the school my eldest went to. In years 3-6 they had sports one afternoon a week from after lunch to finish. Every single time I went to pick up (as was either myself or DH as we worked opposite days/shifts) the school admin would be AT THE GATE waiting and say ‘thank goodness you are doing pick up’, and proceed to take me into the office where there would be a line of children with minor injuries seated. The expectation was that I would give instruction for her to give their parents on pick up, or if parents already there they would be waiting with child. So, should a child go off for x-ray or they don’t need an x-ray, to strap something, to go to/don’t need GP etc. Mind-blowing.

Lesson learnt, the next school my kids went to I wrote ‘Admin’ as my occupation.

Doctors in my experience are quite keen to say doctor. So I'd assume something else.

It’s interesting that a man said this and you assumed he is a doctor/medical practitioner .
What would you have assumed if a woman had said it?

What's the AIBU @whyeyeeyeeyeeye ?

I think I'd have asked him.

"What do you do in A&E?"

I'd assume he wasn't a doctor as he'd have said so.

Maybe some admin role?

Similar ish for me
im a dental hygienist. And I tell people I ‘work at a dental practice’. So fed up with ‘ooo I’ve got this tooth…..’.

if they assume I’m on reception that’s ok by me

I bet it’s that. A+e doc / nurse is probably fed up with unsolicited medical questions or moans about a situation they have no control over

This 😆

Once chatted to someone on internet dating who said he worked in a&e. I got in a car crash soon after and as they wheeled me down the corridor on a stretcher in a neck brace I caught sight of him pushing the laundry trolley.

No reason not to ask. I often say ‘researchers’ because to some people my job is boring and they were just being polite and won’t ask any further questions. Other people ask about my area of research and are genuinely interested (other researchers usually!).

In more than 24 years of saying “I work in the hospital”, not one person has responded with “oh, are you a doctor?” The vast majority say (not ask) “oh you’re a nurse” and a small minority ask “what part/what do you do there?”. But nobody has ever assumed I must be a doctor. I have a little bet going with myself about it, and I’ll buy a bottle of champagne for the first person who does!