to be concerned about my dd’s weight?

[swimmerdoggy]

hi, first time on mn so sorry if this is a rant!
I have a dd(14) who I think may be overweight. fyi, she has ADHD, does swimming, netball and taekwondo and eats rather healthy. Her and my ex husband (her dad) are both relatively slim and we are divorced so she lives mainly with me, and sees him in the summer and most weekends.

she was really slim about a month ago, however I have noticed she has gained a significant amount of weight in the past month. Shes gotten a double chin, love handles and wuite a jiggly stomach. I am not sure why this has happened as we are still eating healthy at home and she chooses a pack lunch for school which is also quite Healthy.

in the summer when she was 10, she gained a lot of weight snd got almost obese thanks ro her dad feeding her McDonald’s almost every day :( but she is healthy now and me and her dad have had conversations about her healthy eating and he feeds her really healthily now when she is at his.

she is 161 cm and 62 kg

i am just looking for advice on weather she is overweight or not? And any tips would be appreciated if she can lose a little weight. I am not being judgmental and I’d just like to say this is all from me caring for her and not being pushy.

Also, we have has her tested for thyroid and other diseases, all negative. She is in perfect health according to her GP, last week

She doesn't sound overweight. She's probably about to grow a cm or two.

Shes gotten a double chin, love handles and wuite a jiggly stomach.

She's acquired all this within the space of one short month?! Sure.
If she's suddenly becoming visibly overweight, I'd be looking at what's going on for her from an emotional perspective, rather than focusing upon her weight.

It's a little heavy for her height, but it's probably puberty. I also got a good amount of puppy fat around her age, but it all dropped off by age 17.

You were at the GP last week. If they were concerned they would have said something. - why ask a bunch of strangers.

thank you all for your responses. My dd has always been quite slim until the last month or so. Now that I think about it maybe it has been a few months (about 3) where she has started to put on a little weight.

@JustTalkToThem I am asking because the netball dress I bought for her a month ago doesn’t fit, rhe jeans I bought for her at Christmas which fit then do not fit around her waist anymore and I am just wondering for my dd. So maybe she could do with losing a couple of pounds then?

@Crazycatlady79 thank you for this. I will see or maybe have a quick chat to see if everything is ok

YABU to refer to a child’s hip/belly fat as love handles!

Could there be any abuse/bullying that is causing her to emotionally overeat? Could she be pregnant?

I had two thoughts. I think some girls put on weight around age 14. It must be something to do with hormonal changes. My DD is 14 and I've noticed that she and all her friends have filled out in the last 6 months. I'm not saying they're fat (they're not) but they've developed more womanly shapes and are carrying extra body fat (within the realms of a normal BMI). It doesn't happen to all girls, but it certainly happened to me at 14.
Another thing I thought is - could she be buying sweets and other unhealthy foods you don't know about? My DD and her friends frequently buy sweets or chips on the way home from school and apparently a lot of her friends don't tell their parents.

There is a bmi calculator specifically for ages 2 to 17 on the NHS website, based on that a 14yo with your daughter's measurements just edges over into the overweight category.

Your reaction and instant focus on the "couple of pounds" seems a bit extreme. Perhaps think about what may have changed in her eating or exercise habits and focus on that so that any adjustment is sustainable?

@pinkyredrose I don’t think she is pregnant, she is not really interested in boys at the moment snd doesn’t have a boyfriend. I will keep this in mind though. She is wuite a good kid though and I don’t really see this happening to her but maybe.

@SallyWD thank you for this, glad to know it may be natural. I’ll check on her credit card or see if the cash in her wallet has gone down.

@mrsmalcolmreynolds sorry if I seem a little extreme, didn’t mean to come off as that. I just want what the best is for my dd. the same thing happened to me at her age and I gained significant weight. I don’t want this to happen to her. She has been keeping up with her taekwondo, swimming and netball but I am sure we can go walk the dog together or maybe just some other small excersise.

Yes, it is a little bit heavy, given the whole situation.
How does your daughter feel in general?

@Nothatgingerpirate ok, thank you for the honest answer
.

Commenting on a 14 year old’s weight is a fast track to an eating disorder. It was for me, anyway. I made sure never to do the same to my DD.

@BellaCiao23 i haven’t said anything to her directly. I am wondering from my perspective. I am not trying to be judgemental and im sorry if it came of like that. I don’t want a repeat of what happened ro me, or what happened to her at 10

Use the NHS BMI calculator for a child to find out if she is OW, because its a matter of objective fact, rather than subjective opinion on MN and not related to your view of her appearance. She's actually top end healthy BMI, so no need for concern if she's eating healthily and is active.

Credit card??? At 14???

Surely you are making a mistake by saying credit card?

Check what she's eating. That's the main culprit.

So, Is she buying a mars bar and a milkshake on the way from school every day or something like that?

I know dozens of kids from the secondary school by me are in Asda every day buying cookies, crisp, Marcy's, doughnuts and all that.

@Blubbles it is a debit card - a gohenry
@5128gap thank you, I will use it now

@Blubbles looks like she has been eating lots of junk. I have looked in the bins in our house and there are lots and lots of sweet rappers and chocolates rappers. Im not sure why though because she is quite health focused - not necessarily wanting to be slim, but being healthy… will have a chat about this tonight with dd.

Please approach this subject with care. She is a very vulnerable age for developing an eating disorder.

So she’s 5’3” and about 9 and a half stone?

I wouldn’t say that’s a worry at all. She’s 14. It’s pretty common for girls to put on a little weight at age as their bodies are changing and filling out. She might be a little plumper than she was but certainly nothing to worry about.

FWIW I’m the same height as your daughter and when I’m around 9.5 stone I’m a size 10.

OP your response here made me smile a bit. Instead of looking in the bins, talking to your daughter and possibly acknowledging that kids like sweets and don’t always eat healthy, you came on here. Feels like the obvious reason was there all along.