Page 4 | To not forget a kids party

Comeonicandoit · 2025-02-22T22:02:05+00:00

My kid had her birthday party this afternoon. It was at a place where you are charged per child, and you confirm two weeks before how many will attend. We had 17 kids confirm (more than we’d have guessed!!), but four didn’t turn up today. That includes two siblings so three families. They absolutely know where the venue is as we have been there before for other parties. I checked the invite and and info was accurate, and I definitely didn’t receive any apologies. I paid £16 per child so I lost out on £64. This isn’t spare change to me 😔. Plus There was food wasted and extra party bags brought home, and I can’t help but feel very disappointed. Mostly, and because I’m an anxious sort, I’m now so anxious about what will be said at the school gates. Will they ignore me? Will they even realise if they forgot?! YABU - get over it YANBU - that’s rubbish

hideawayforever · 23/02/2025 10:37

changednameagain1234 · 22/02/2025 22:08

I once took my daughter to a soft play party when she was younger, not one other child apart from the birthday boy turned up.

my heart broke for him and his parents, so pleased we went though!!

oh no, my hearts just broken for that poor little boy and parents too, so awful

OrangeYaGlad · 23/02/2025 10:51

GoBackToTheStart · 22/02/2025 23:19

Except they weren't there...and if Op knew that would be the case, she presumably wouldn't have paid that money or would have invited someone else to take their place. It is wasted because the venue was given money and none of the intended children (including her birthday child) benefitted from it. If they were there, she'd have been paying for children to enjoy themselves at the party and her DC to have more friends there. Instead, she has paid for nothing. Generally, people find paying for nothing to be a waste.

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You missed the point

cookingthebooks · 23/02/2025 11:18

Parker231 · 23/02/2025 09:45

Why didn’t they send an apology in these circumstances? No excuse.

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Because you forget! No sleep, out of hours GP’s poorly kids, poorly yourself. Have you never woken up after a night of multiple kids in your bed 2 hours sleep if you were lucky feeling rough as hell and not even sure how old you are anymore? People do forget in difficult circumstances! Tbh I think it’s a bit self important to think that people cannot possibly be going through anything that might make them forget about your DC party, yes it’s happened to me at every party we have thrown at least one of two havn’t turned up sometimes there’s an apology sometimes not or it arrives a few days later with an explanation. Yes it’s mildly frustrating but you get over it and accept it is all part of the deal.

cait967 · 23/02/2025 11:35

It’s annoying but easily done. Especially parties around half term. A reminder is helpful.
im a really organised person but even i missed a party once, i wrote it down wrong on my calendar.

Trunksarebetter · 23/02/2025 12:19

OrangeYaGlad · 23/02/2025 10:51

You missed the point

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Really? I think she grasped it perfectly.

OrangeYaGlad · 23/02/2025 13:24

Trunksarebetter · 23/02/2025 12:19

Really? I think she grasped it perfectly.

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Then you also missed the point. 🤷‍♀️

menopausalmare · 23/02/2025 13:29

Loveduppenguin · 23/02/2025 09:44

you sound delightful…🤣🤣🤣

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If I was £64 down and no apology, damn right!

Pootle23 · 23/02/2025 13:53

BlondiePortz · 22/02/2025 23:50

It is rude not to contact but I would move on , I do wonder with the idea that people are meant to invite everyone in the class how on earth parents manage to fit all the parties and keep up with which child is going to which party when and then unexpected things happen

Parents would need their own PA, if you need to pay for people I would confirm but that is why we have a bit of food and kids show up if they do there is no extra cost parties

Absolute crap. Get a calendar and fill it in. Not rocket science is it! Are parents that bloody lazy these days. It is very simple to reply, sorry no, I’m too bloody thick to keep up a calendar which takes seconds to complete and check.

sunshineandrain82 · 23/02/2025 14:06

We once forgot to message it was completely unintentional.
We all came down ill and I had basically slept the weekend away.

Parties are one of those I either expect people not to turn up. Or people to come who never got back to me.

I tend to do exclusive use of the soft play centre which is paid up front before hand. So no major issue just food on top on the day. Which is charged on who turns up.

That being said it catches me short like last year when 10 extras which included some siblings. No major issue with siblings I get it because i can sometimes have the issue of no childcare so I'll happily cover the extra food cost if you ask. It's no drama for me.

But when you only have party bags for 18 and 25 show up that's where i can get annoyed. That being said I can see how it can be annoying for those who have strict numbers for any particular reason.

Original poster

Comeonicandoit · 23/02/2025 14:32

I got a message about ten minutes ago from one of the mums saying they’d just now realised the party had been this weekend and said they were sorry. I told them it was fine and I feel completely understanding about it, these things happen and I appreciate they got in touch.
two other families still no word. I am curious if they’ve completely forgotten or just pretending to have

OP posts:

BooomShakeTheRoom · 23/02/2025 14:33

RedPlumJammy · 23/02/2025 08:22

No but pps point is that as a functioning adult you don’t miss things like this either basic organising skills. It’s called respect and manners.

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It’s called being human.

Bushmillsbabe · 23/02/2025 14:58

BusyMum47 · 23/02/2025 09:49

Ugh. Hated those years of kids' parties. People either don't show up, dump & run when it's not appropriate or bring siblings & take the piss! Couldn't get past that stage quick enough. 😆

The siblings one is a real bugbear of mine. Several of my daughters friends have single mums, who check it's OK to bring a siblings, I of course would never say no, but I respect that they show me the courtesy of asking. And I can cater accordingly. These siblings are well behaved, let the younger ones go first with activities, food etc. But there are 2 mums who bring multiple siblings, with no warning, on the tenuous reason that their Dad wants to go to pub/football. 2 of them ate 10 cupcakes between them, taking bites out of others and putying them back on the plates, which meant there wasn't enough for the younger ones and there were tears, pushed over younger children on the bouncy castle (more tears.These will definitely not be invited again, their mum watched them and did nothing to stop their 9-12 year olds. I asked her politely if she could ask them to come off, response 'boys will be boys', so I asked them and she threw I strop that I was rude to her children.

Parker231 · 23/02/2025 15:03

Bushmillsbabe · 23/02/2025 14:58

The siblings one is a real bugbear of mine. Several of my daughters friends have single mums, who check it's OK to bring a siblings, I of course would never say no, but I respect that they show me the courtesy of asking. And I can cater accordingly. These siblings are well behaved, let the younger ones go first with activities, food etc. But there are 2 mums who bring multiple siblings, with no warning, on the tenuous reason that their Dad wants to go to pub/football. 2 of them ate 10 cupcakes between them, taking bites out of others and putying them back on the plates, which meant there wasn't enough for the younger ones and there were tears, pushed over younger children on the bouncy castle (more tears.These will definitely not be invited again, their mum watched them and did nothing to stop their 9-12 year olds. I asked her politely if she could ask them to come off, response 'boys will be boys', so I asked them and she threw I strop that I was rude to her children.

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I added on the invite - sorry no siblings so it was clear from the start.

BusyMum47 · 23/02/2025 15:15

Bushmillsbabe · 23/02/2025 14:58

The siblings one is a real bugbear of mine. Several of my daughters friends have single mums, who check it's OK to bring a siblings, I of course would never say no, but I respect that they show me the courtesy of asking. And I can cater accordingly. These siblings are well behaved, let the younger ones go first with activities, food etc. But there are 2 mums who bring multiple siblings, with no warning, on the tenuous reason that their Dad wants to go to pub/football. 2 of them ate 10 cupcakes between them, taking bites out of others and putying them back on the plates, which meant there wasn't enough for the younger ones and there were tears, pushed over younger children on the bouncy castle (more tears.These will definitely not be invited again, their mum watched them and did nothing to stop their 9-12 year olds. I asked her politely if she could ask them to come off, response 'boys will be boys', so I asked them and she threw I strop that I was rude to her children.

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SO rude! Used to drive me insane.
😡🤬 I think if I had my time again, as a new, young mum, I'd be so much better at calling out such cheeky fuckery!!

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 15:17

You'll find that those forgetful difficult circumstances parents often manage to function very well and be very important in the highly important jobs they somehow manage to pull off with those levels of forgetfulness. They turn up to things they care about. Selfish, just endlessly selfish.

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 15:19

BooomShakeTheRoom · 23/02/2025 08:13

A kids party isn’t akin to an important work meeting or flight though - at all.

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Why accept if it's not important to you?

GrainneIsAinmDom · 23/02/2025 15:20

We've had this. Usually people let me know, but one or two never bother their arse. I do think it's shit, but also that it's one of those things you have to get over. We have always have parties for each of our kids since preschool and this has happened at maybe two or three of the parties. Less so now they're older

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 15:26

Loveduppenguin · 22/02/2025 22:05

I once forgot a party and didn’t realise until a week later, I text to apologise. It happens @Comeonicandoit

What did you do with the present?

Loveduppenguin · 23/02/2025 15:42

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 15:26

What did you do with the present?

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I gave it to my ds to give to his friend when he got to school on the Monday…why?!

Loveduppenguin · 23/02/2025 15:44

I went through an awful separation over the last 2 years and I’ve missed 2 parties as a result…I’m not flaky, not a cf, just human…

RedPlumJammy · 23/02/2025 18:12

Loveduppenguin · 23/02/2025 09:38

And sometimes adults are going through shit that means they are not “functioning” at 100% and things get missed ffs…why are people so easily insulted these days. We cannot remember everything ALL the time! Get a calendar they say, fine, most of the time I do put things on the calendar and sometimes oh hang on…I forget! God you must be all so perfect…

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Excuses are rife now. Everyone has some excuse for being rude. You must be one of them.

RedPlumJammy · 23/02/2025 18:16

BooomShakeTheRoom · 23/02/2025 14:33

It’s called being human.

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Presumably they were functional enough to accept the invite in the first place?!

Would you still say this if everyone had done this and OP’s DC was left there alone?

RedPlumJammy · 23/02/2025 18:17

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 15:17

You'll find that those forgetful difficult circumstances parents often manage to function very well and be very important in the highly important jobs they somehow manage to pull off with those levels of forgetfulness. They turn up to things they care about. Selfish, just endlessly selfish.

Exactly. Sick of all these selfish excuses and victim narratives these days. Why did they accept in the first place if their life is soooo shit

BooomShakeTheRoom · 23/02/2025 19:14

RedPlumJammy · 23/02/2025 18:16

Presumably they were functional enough to accept the invite in the first place?!

Would you still say this if everyone had done this and OP’s DC was left there alone?

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Do you think people choose to forget things?! Forgetfulness isn’t a choice, no one would choose to forget.

BooomShakeTheRoom · 23/02/2025 19:17

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 15:26

What did you do with the present?

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🙄 if all you can worry about is people forgetting a party, then you lead a sheltered, probably quite small, life.