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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have made DH change the nappy?

85 replies

NappyArgument · 22/02/2025 21:20

I need your opinion on if IABU or not.

DD is 8 months old and needed her nappy changing earlier. I made DH do it. He wasn’t happy about it, as he was carrying her off to do it he muttered something like “I can’t believe you’re making me do this” and then I started tidying her toys up while they were gone and he said “you’d best not be coming in here”. Then he shouted DDs name really harshly at her, I said what’s wrong and started heading in and he said “she’s moving around!”. I said I was coming and don’t shout at her like that, it’s not her fault. Then he shouted “she’s got shit all up her arse!” and I said I’m coming and he stormed off and I changed the nappy. When I got back into the room he was pretending to be asleep so I brought DD up for a bath and I’m now feeding her to sleep.

In my defence, this was the only nappy he would have changed today. He hasn’t been pulling his weight at home at all. Baths are supposed to be “his” job with DD but I’ve done the past 4 out of 5. He’s also supposed to do the bins/recycling but I’ve been having to pick that up a lot too.

In his defence, he has a manual job and he’s struggling at work at the minute and not been sleeping well so was tired and just wanted to stay sat on the sofa.

He gave me an hour off this morning to shower and do my hair and he made us all breakfast. We had a nice day out and when we got home, he went upstairs for an hour on his own while I fed DD and the dogs and tidied the kitchen. I don’t know if this bit is relevant but felt like I should add it.

So what do you think - AIBU to have made him do the nappy?

OP posts:
Caerulea · 22/02/2025 21:22

'in his defence'?

No, there is no defence.

Stripeyanddotty · 22/02/2025 21:22

No you were not unreasonable at all.
He’s a prick for shouting at his baby.

ForSnugLimeExpert · 22/02/2025 21:22

Your poor daughter, he sounds awful!

MumChp · 22/02/2025 21:23

Childrens' care is 50/50.
Your husband is a brat.

Ponderingwindow · 22/02/2025 21:24

Why would you need to make him change a nappy? His child needs a nappy change, he should just jump up and do it.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 22/02/2025 21:24

Could this be the first 100% YANBU?

(There may have been others, I don't keep track)

Achyarms · 22/02/2025 21:24

I can’t believe he shouted at a baby because he had to change a nappy. How many has he done in total?
he sounds like a shite partner and father

Runningoutofthyme · 22/02/2025 21:24

what a repulsive manchild… what are you hoping people tell you?

…that they have an equally low bar and this behaviour is acceptable

TheFormidableMrsC · 22/02/2025 21:25

Arsehole. Massive arsehole.

Wanderdust · 22/02/2025 21:25

Wait... So he never changes nappies?! I'm confused, it sounds like he didn't know what the feck he was doing. Or was he in a mood because it was a shitty one and you usually do those? Either way, he needs to start pulling his weight.

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 22/02/2025 21:26

She’s his baby too.

toastofthetown · 22/02/2025 21:26

His only responsibility in caring for his child is bathing her which isn’t even a daily requirement for a child that age? And he doesn’t even do that most of the time?

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/02/2025 21:27

He’s a pathetic arsehole.

Northerngirl821 · 22/02/2025 21:27

Ugh what a manchild.

Salacia · 22/02/2025 21:28

His defence? Being tired doesn’t get you out of being a parent - otherwise no baby would ever have its nappy changed!

This isn’t good - shouting at your baby for moving during a nappy change?!

I have a baby the same age and there’s no asking to change a nappy, we’re both his parents and equally responsible for him - whoever makes sense to change it changes it. I couldn’t tell you how many nappies I’ve changed today vs DH (although we did have a poonami that we sorted together) - we’re a team.

Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours · 22/02/2025 21:29

Shouting at a baby? What a wanker

Sounds like you need to raise your bar for a husband and father. He is repulsive.

SparklyBrickViper · 22/02/2025 21:29

What a prince of a man.

Businessflake · 22/02/2025 21:29

To give you some perspective on this OP, my OH was a bit rubbish in the night, after the first few weeks he hardly ever woke in the night. But he would change literally every nappy during the day that he was around for. Wouldn’t need to be asked.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 22/02/2025 21:29

God, I know she's a baby and doesn't understand it, but shouting "she's got shit up her arse" is so grim. I mean, duh, she's a baby and has no control?

What did he THINK having a baby was going to be like?

Msmoonpie · 22/02/2025 21:30

Another fucking useless prick.

Retrospeaker · 22/02/2025 21:30

What? He doesn’t routinely change nappies? Why the fuck not?

caringcarer · 22/02/2025 21:32

Your DD has 2 parents you shouldn't have to ask your DH to change the baby's nappy. He should just do it.

Original poster
NappyArgument · 22/02/2025 21:32

He normally does the first nappy change when she gets up in the morning and when we’re out he usually does them but I did today. He will sometimes do one after work if I’m making dinner or something and he will get her ready for bed when he does the bath.

OP posts:
Stripeyanddotty · 22/02/2025 21:33

How often does he shout at her?

Original poster
NappyArgument · 22/02/2025 21:35

Stripeyanddotty · 22/02/2025 21:33

How often does he shout at her?

He’s never shouted at her like this before. Once when she kicked a table and knocked drinks over but it wasn’t really “at” her just more the shock of tea going everywhere I think.

OP posts:
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