Functional Birthday Present

[RandomUser456878]

Wanting to hear opinions on this birthday present

My girlfriend is 39 weeks pregnant, its her birthday this week & she's due the week after. For a while she's mentioned about getting either a coffee machine or a kettle for our bedroom. Everytime we go to a hotel, we say we should get one for our room.

Anyhow, a few days back I saw an Ad for a Russell Hobbs 'Calm' Kettle. Its a 'quiet boil' kettle that places soothing, meditation like sounds while its boiling. Video linked here Hadn't seen anything like this before and thought it was quite unique.

Also Thought it would be perfect for making cups of tea in the night/Morning, while soothing the baby with the noises instead of waking it up with the noises of a kettle & we could use for sterilising if we needed too.

Along side the kettle, I got some nice mugs from Dunelm, some little spoons & a matching tray & matching bowl for used teabags. Teabags, Coffee Sachets & Milk Sachets.
Essentially made up a little area like a hotel in our bedroom
Spent £150 in total

It arrived today so set it up & said she can have her birthday present early. But she was abit disappointed. She thinks its a 'house purchase' and shouldn't be a birthday present.
By 'House Purchase' she means just a standard thing we should just buy for the house.

To add some more context on our situation... We have alot of disposible income each month & pretty much buy whatever we want/need so we're hard to buy presents for.
We're also pretty much sorted for the baby so don't need anything there. Our parents gave us money for Christmas which we've just banked for the baby.

AIBU - Crap Present, It should be a standard buy
AINBU - Good Present

Good luck trying to convince people that eternity rings are ‘naff’…

I think your friends are right! Your partner might change her mind once baby is here.

Im glad you’re thinking of ordering her some non-maternity outfits. Or maybe get some gift vouchers for places she usually buys her gym wear? I would have loved this. I found it hard to justify a present for me when I’d just had a baby, and I was up in the night a lot, so a guilt-free scroll for some new clothes would have cheered me up! It’s taken me a while to get back to my pre-pregnancy size too so I needed some new outfits. DH did buy me a couple of jumpsuits I had my eye on as a present after having my DS, I told him to get my normal size and I was quite upset when they didn’t fit! It hadn’t really dawned on me that my body would change so much. Vouchers would have been much better.

My first baby was two weeks late and I was destroyed with stitches. Sitting in the car for 10 minutes coming home from the hospital hurt like hell. 1.5 hours of driving a week later was not going to happen. Granny has had babies - she will understand - please don’t pressure your poor girlfriend to go to a party when she’s leaking milk and blood to watch her tiny baby play pass the parcel. And it’s absolutely not ok for you to go and leave her either, should it need saying.

My husband loves practical presents; I received new windscreen wipers for Valentine’s, so you’ve at least done better with a fancy kettle she wanted.

YANBU. I think it sounds really thoughtful. Much more effort goes into buying a present like this, tailored to someone's specific life and personality, than grabbing a random pair of diamond earrings.

I love a good practical present. Once asked my DH for a set of really posh kitchen scales and was absolutely thrilled with them.

I think it sounds thoughtful although mugs from dunelm would not seem like a treat to me
I would buy her the hugest bunch of flowers you can find NOW and then something more personal as an actual birthday present- that is not baby/motherhood related
and forget all the travel plans

I am with your partner on this - its a house thing!! I wouldn’t be happy with it either. In my mind its like buying me a hoover or a set of pans!

It's thoughtful, but quite dull. And those mugs remind me of the beakers you get for the bathroom to rinse your mouth after brushing your teeth. But to each there own.
I would get her something that just focuses on her, something sentimental maybe? A little gift from the bump? A shopping spree, vouchers for new clothes, a date night activity?

@RandomUser456878 Ok, so a fairly active and well travelled person. I think decent fitness gear if that what she’s into is a good shout. Lululemon Align leggings are really nice and great for yoga (and day to day wear). If she’s really into yoga, maybe a voucher for a yoga retreat.
A really important time for me after giving birth was the 3 hours a week I went and did my hobby class. So, if she has anything she enjoys doing then buying her a voucher for a set of classes or, if she’s expressed an interest in something, now could be a good time for her to start.

Just googled it and now I want one....

She thinks its a 'house purchase' and shouldn't be a birthday present.
She's absolutely right.

I’d be fine with this but I was also fine when I received a cutlery set for my birthday from DH, so maybe not representative. She’s not fine so in the circs I’d say sorry, you hadn’t meant it that way and get her something just for her.

Maybe controversial but I'm quite against flowers. I don't see the point in spending £50 in something that dies in 2 weeks & you can do nothing with them

How does you wife feel?

Haha! I do think they look nicer in person that photo. But I do get what you're saying..
Cant find the right colour as they say every one is unique on the stickers. But here's the Dunelm Link for a similar one: https://www.dunelm.com/product/bulb-reactive-mug-1000241862?defaultSkuId=30890849

Yeah I'll get thinking of something. The post is helping with inspo to be honest which is good

I think it's thoughtful but I'd be disappointed.
I think being heavily pregnant too means that it's all going to be about the baby for a while so I'd want to feel like I was really being treated.

If spending that much on a drinks set up for the bedroom could easily be swallowed into the house budget then I wouldn't want it as a birthday gift.

I really wanted an air fryer (more than him but it benefitted both of us) and we bought one. I wouldn't have wanted it for my birthday.

I got a carpet cleaner for my birthday once but I had asked for it , I think it’s a bit unreasonable

Everything you post could have been posted by any man ever.
Thoughtless gift - check
Unaware of trials of postpartum - check
Booking things in one of the toughest periods of a woman's life - check
Not liking things as presents because they don't benefit you - check

I'm going to go out on a limb and bet you don't like any form of fun for your own birthdays, become the Grinch at Christmas and don't understand (or even ask) a lot about your partner's inner world; as is evidenced from not knowing what she really likes for herself or what would be a treat.

Men seem so so bland at times.

Yeah the same (when recieving them). She used to like them but her dad got her flowers for something. (Either last birthday or maybe after she told them about her pregnancy) & she binned them after a couple of days (They were lillys so do smell)

Though, She does buy them for her nan every birthday and mothers day

Sounds like you put loads of thought into putting this gift together and you knew it was something she wanted. On thar basis, i would love it as a gift from my husband.

I’d love this as a present!

I've just read on and need to add I would be fuming about getting baby stuff for my birthday. I think Christmas is a bit different but a birthday is just about that person. Not their partner, not their baby, them.

Especially as a parent, that's the day it gets to be all about you and she deserves that!

Haha! I did put abit of thought into the present. Maybe a bog standard kettle, you could class as no thought.

But its not everyday you see a kettle that plays meditation sounds 😂

Other than my nan's birthday, which I can't help when that is. I've not booked anything with fixed dates. She's the one who's suggested to go Australia to see her auntie we used to live with

Yeah! Hoping the baby doesn't appear on her birthday, then she'll never get one again 😬

I can see that you've addressed it now op , and that's great. I do agree with most pps on this , if it's for the house then it's not a birthday gift for her.

On my 35th birthday I got incredibly practical household gifts from everyone and I was very upset , I was finding hitting my mid 30s tough enough then I received an air purifier and a set of mugs as a 'treat'. It didn't go down well at all!

Babies and travelling… I think you are either naive or very brave.