Functional Birthday Present

[RandomUser456878]

Wanting to hear opinions on this birthday present

My girlfriend is 39 weeks pregnant, its her birthday this week & she's due the week after. For a while she's mentioned about getting either a coffee machine or a kettle for our bedroom. Everytime we go to a hotel, we say we should get one for our room.

Anyhow, a few days back I saw an Ad for a Russell Hobbs 'Calm' Kettle. Its a 'quiet boil' kettle that places soothing, meditation like sounds while its boiling. Video linked here Hadn't seen anything like this before and thought it was quite unique.

Also Thought it would be perfect for making cups of tea in the night/Morning, while soothing the baby with the noises instead of waking it up with the noises of a kettle & we could use for sterilising if we needed too.

Along side the kettle, I got some nice mugs from Dunelm, some little spoons & a matching tray & matching bowl for used teabags. Teabags, Coffee Sachets & Milk Sachets.
Essentially made up a little area like a hotel in our bedroom
Spent £150 in total

It arrived today so set it up & said she can have her birthday present early. But she was abit disappointed. She thinks its a 'house purchase' and shouldn't be a birthday present.
By 'House Purchase' she means just a standard thing we should just buy for the house.

To add some more context on our situation... We have alot of disposible income each month & pretty much buy whatever we want/need so we're hard to buy presents for.
We're also pretty much sorted for the baby so don't need anything there. Our parents gave us money for Christmas which we've just banked for the baby.

AIBU - Crap Present, It should be a standard buy
AINBU - Good Present

Is this an advert?!

I had bought a Sanctuary Spa 'Mum & Baby' spa set but I've given that my mum to give her along with some other bits off our Baby Wishlist
For her birthday? Do you want her to be annoyed with your mum too?

Birthday presents for your OH should be birthday presents for your OH. Not presents for the baby.

You haven't answered my question- how would you feel if she got you this for your birthday present?

Birthday presents from your baby wishlist? No no no....

YABU. The gift should have been a gift for her. The kettle was thoughtful as a surprise extra gift for both of you but it should not have been the main gift. Birthday presents should be for the person not something for the house or baby products. Get her something nice.

Yeah first baby. She wouldn't be interested in earrings.

I'll probably just book a trip away as thats what we tend to do. We have a couple booked for start of maternity but only to Yorkshire, Scotland & Wales. I was planning to wait till the babys here & seeing how we're coping before booking an abroad one

It didn't matter how he would feel - he never asked for it !

It's a simple rule though , unless otherwise made totally clear , anything for the kitchen or associated with housework shouldn't be given as a gift

Very thoughtful gift but I think you should give her something "just for her"... PP mentioned diamond earrings; I have heard of mums getting "push presents" which are usually jewelry. Eternity ring, gold bracelet, that sort of thing. I can't recommend a holiday post-partum; it won't be appreciated! Trust me.

Haha! We'll its already now 'flat present' or house present.

I'll send a photo of the mugs later on, they're actually nice 😂

I'd have been pleased with that if it was something I'd expressed I wanted. I'd much rather have something practical but a bit indulgent that I actually wanted than earrings for the baby to rip out!

I don't buy into the 'gifts should only be for her and totally ignore the pregnancy / imminent Motherhood' thing. DH got me (among other things) the first baby sleepsuit we'd bought and a little comforter the Christmas I was pregnant, and also among other things a 'best Mum' mug for my birthday when DS was tiny. Delighted with both.

You said you have plenty of money to spend. The answer is to buy something that she really loves but wouldn’t buy for herself as she thinks it’s a bit extravagant. I would suggest diamonds, but you’ve said she wouldn’t want earrings.
What are her hobbies and interests? Does she like designer clothes/ bags/ shoes?

For his birthday last year DH got solar panels. This year he got an air con unit. Men can get (and can appreciate) these gifts too.

I'd be delighted with a bougie kettle (or toaster) for my birthday.

I’d suggest calming down a bit before booking multiple trips for the post partum period. You have no idea how she’ll feel, how your baby will be and what you’ll feel up to.

Many women just want to stay home, establish feeding, nest a bit and find their feet. Travelling round the UK with a brand new baby and all the stuff that goes along with it might be a step too far.

Never buy women something functional for the house and deem it a present for them. We’re in 2025 now, how is this still a thing??

Rookie mistake.

It’s a thoughtful house purchase but a birthday present should be a treat for the person, not something that just makes your life easier. I would be really disappointed, she has also told you she is disappointed so that should be enough for you to realised it wasn’t a great gift. Either let her return it and pick something else, or keep it and treat her to an actual present for her.

Everytime we go to a hotel, we say we should get one for our room

I think this is the key. It’s not a present for her, it’s something you both want.

Honestly I'd be happy with that present if it's something I'd said I'd like (Tea station in my bedroom sounds pretty good!)
Although DH and I both bought each other kitchen equipment for Xmas (which we both wanted) so maybe my view on "good" presents is skewed?

Na she wouldn't be annoyed at my mum no matter what she got her. Either way this thread is lighthearted, I just wanted opinions. I will be getting something else, but I thought it was a good gift personally

At Christmas as an example, my mum got us loads of baby stuff & made up a hamper which had bedding, nappies, wipes, teddies etc. She was over the moon with it.

In my opinion, presents are best when they match your situation. For example, my 18th I got stuff for a car as I bought myself a car. When we got our house, it would have been things relating to the house

The other things I got for my mum from the wishlist are for her, not the baby. But admittedly they are

Here's the spa set: www.boots.com/mum-and-baby-sweet-dreams-gift-set-10338864
I think the spa sets a good present, they can have little paper days together after they've been baby yoga down at the gym. No different than receiving a giftset but better as its relational to the situation

As you wanted an answer, I personally wasn't bothered about the coffee station. I think it'd be a faff washing the cups and bringing them back up all the time. We have 3 story house & bedrooms on top floor. So annoying walking up and down all the time.

I don't mind what people get for my birthday though in general. I don't like receiving gifts, I just find it awkward & I have everything I need.
But I may aswell add some more weight to her side... Last year she got me a car 😆. (Context: I bought a new car anyway. She owed us some money & I had got her the new iphone for her 30th, money owed & Iphone was around the 1.5k for the car so she paid for that for me) Although, she pretty much took the car as its the nicer of our 2 😂

Haha Yeah, I know that now from her reaction haha

The only one booked in is Wales, the baby will be 3 weeks old (if it arrives on the due date) but its for my nana's 80th.
Although we have booked another hotel for after everybody leaves to stay an extra night

The others are just vouchers, like 2 night stay with dinner & breakfast type ones and we have a year to use them

OP, I think you’re getting a hard time here. You bought something your girlfriend specifically said several times that she wanted and you weren’t to know she would consider it a ‘house present’ - given that you didn’t actually particularly want one yourself, I wouldn’t have seen it that way either.

Fair enough if she wasn’t keen, but even if it was a misfire it wasn’t a thoughtless gift like some people are implying. If she hadn’t mentioned wanting one, it would have been thoughtless, but she had.

Also Thought it would be perfect for making cups of tea in the night/Morning, while soothing the baby with the noises instead of waking it up with the noises of a kettle & we could use for sterilising if we needed too.

So not something she wants or has any interest in (no her style/taste, hobby, interests etc...) but something entirely linked to her just being a carer of something else... basically your a mam now so ceased to exist as a person in your own right, how tone deaf can you be?

Also who is boiling a kettle in the bedroom late at night anyway?

The only one booked in is Wales, the baby will be 3 weeks old (if it arrives on the due date) but its for my nana's 80th.
Although we have booked another hotel for after everybody leaves to stay an extra night & have a chill out while we're both off on maternity / paternity

The others are just vouchers, like 2 night stay with dinner & breakfast type ones and we have a year to use them

I think she's 39 weeks pregnant and maybe feels a bit like a hippopotamus, so something a little more personal, more intimate, would have been your better option here. Something that reminds her you think she's gorgeous and not just a heffalump. Nothing too sexy, jewelry, a beautiful scarf, a robe...

You expect a new mum and infant not yet settled in a routine to travel around the country. Tbh it's insane.

You obviously didn't read the post

She was thinking of getting a coffee pod machine & mentions it everytime we go to a hotel. She's happy with the setup, but just thinks its something we should just get anyway, not as a birthday gift.

Ive never breast fed but I would imagine if you got woken up at 4am, you might want a brew. Also in the mornings, you can have a brew in bed. Saves you going downstairs (2 flights of stairs for us as our bedrooms on the 3rd floor) and the quite boil & the noises would keep the baby asleep rather than waking it up

Also if the baby doesnt take to breastfeeding, we can make the bottles in our room using the kettle