To think this is unfair

[chickenlicken3]

DD17 goes to her dad's every other weekend. She's always shared a room with her younger step sibling.

They have recently had a change round of rooms which means DD no longer has a bed and will now be sleeping on the sofa bed in the living room. When questioning the decision, DD was told they weren't expecting her to still be visiting at nearly 18.

DD now no longer wants to go every other weekend (or sleep over at all) as her Dad and step mum are early risers, and you have to walk through the living room in order to get to the kitchen. She also has other step siblings including in the house that return home late at night.

AIBU in thinking this room swap could have been put on hold until she goes to university in September, or is it ok because she's nearly an adult? Would be interested to hear other people's opinions!

@Whatwouldnanado Yes she's in school, sitting her A level exams in a few months.

I've always welcomed her friends round - encouraged it in fact. She's literally the best kid ever (I know I'd say that!), but I'm so hurt on her behalf.

How is not having a bed for your child anything but malice? It’s the kind of thing you see in a fairy tale.

So her father either prioritises his SC over his own flesh and blood or he’s under the thumb of wife number 2.

Either way he’s a piss poor excuse for a parent

@NImumconfused He does know she's autistic 😕

They’re a pair of cunts, plain and simple.
And they would very definitely hear from me. I wouldn’t mince my words.

Mine started dropping off seeing and staying at their Dad's at about 16. The compromise that he did for them was to have them over every other Sunday for dinner, which worked for a number of years. When they get to 18 and off to Uni - they need to start making their own arrangements with the other parent.

It's mean of them. If she no longer wants to go then she absolutely shouldn't be forced to.

Really poor from them.

He's just a git then, unfortunately, sorry your DD is being harmed by it.

So he's only expecting to see her while he was still paying for her (child support)?
Charming.

Truthfully, my heart breaks for your daughter, she must be hurt beyond belief.

Well dickhead-Dad obviously doesn't want his daughter around

Poor girl, I hope she can get over this without too much damage & upset

Same thing happened to me. I stopped going. Guess what? Haven't seen the bloke for over 10 years now. Better off for it too.

It's not her sister. And no, he hasn't made a small error, he has told his child she is not welcome in his home, that the rooms are for other people's children, even the adult ones.

Your ex is a class A Arsehole.

WTF was he thinking, taking away the bed and space to store her stuff from an autistic 17 year old. Not having somewhere quiet to retreat to is a very cruel thing to do to an autistic teenager.

He may as well have asked for her key back. Disgraceful behaviour from a parent.

What bastards!! How nasty.

Perfectly acceptable! Especially as the age difference is so big. I wouldn't want a 17 year old sharing with my 13 year old - not even for 1 night a week!

The poor wee pet! Even saving that to uni is unacceptable. Until she was finished full time education she should have had a bed in her father’s house. What a dick of a man. She sounds lucky to have a lovely mother like you🥰

This is awful. My kids Dad did this to my two and their relationship never recovered. They hardly see him now and they are still upset by it at 24!

Sounds like he hasn’t thought this through!!!
still spending weekends with should’ve meant a discussion first.
my stepsons mum chucked his bed and “set up a camp bed” for him when he moved to us…he was 13!! He didn’t go back to stay. As others said he thought with his feet. His mother gave no 💩 about his feelings, really was awful.
step daughter still spent weekends with us until she was 19, covid hit and things changed but otherwise I’d have imagined it would’ve carried on a while longer.
what’s your daughters thoughts on it? What’s her plan to see him now?
as for him, I hope he realises he’s not a great dad that’s put others before his own which is really sad!

I’m into my 40s and live in a different country to my mother. There is still a bedroom in her house for me.

I have step children - they will always have a room in my home.

Their mindset is odd.

As their early risers they should sleep on the sofa bed and give up their bed for her.

Sounds like a combination of wicked stepmother and spineless dad.

What a dick move. I'd encourage her to still see her dad (for her benefit not his) but maybe just go for the day twice a month instead.

It will massively impact his relationship with her though, his loss.

Feel for your daughter. That’s just rotten. And I feel for you too. It’s hard being single parent and always being one that has to do everything / think of everything and I assume those 4 nights are your only nights just for you when you get bit of a break for you and that’s not much.

That is the step sister that she used to share the bedroom with.