To lie and not travel to a work meeting?

[mamabeeboo]

At the company for just over 2 years and dates/location have been announced for the annual work meeting. It's a lot of meetings, presentations, the CEO will be there (woop-de-dah!). It's somewhat relevant to my role, but wouldn't make a difference if I went/didn't go. I know this because when it was on last year, due to budget restraints, some people were not invited (like my team) and this didn't impact anything at all, targets were met and all went well.

I am invited this year and I don't want to go. I don't want the hassle of waking early to take a plane for work, participate in the fake niceties, spend all day trying not to dose off during presentations, have crappy buffet sandwiches daily, then networking dinners, enough to be exhausted to collapse into your hotel room ready to do it all again tomorrow, it's a 3 day long conference but 4 days total including travel time.

Work are arranging the travel that I am there just for the meetings and not a second to spare to see the city or do anything I want to do.

Manager has said it's a great opportunity to meet the wider team (yawn) and the CEO (yippee) and learn more about our products.

No it's not compulsory but "It would be nice" if I could attend.

It's also clearly not an important part of my job, because if it was, I'd have been invited last year.

I have blamed childcare and no one to look after DC. Which is a lie because DH can do it. Manager has expressed disappointment and has been a little off with me (or maybe it's just me overthinking) and has asked maybe DH can take time off work, maybe grandparents can help? I've said no and no.

AIBU?

Oh @ElsaLion 😂

you have entertained me tonight!

I have been attending things like this my entire working life- senior commercial role in Biotech
So a few questions-
Is your team invited- if so are they going to attend without you?
Do you want advancement within this organization - because if you do not attend profile raising things like this you will not get it
Have you tried to shape content so there are relevant things for you and your team
Do you know all the people you interact with in your organization - have you met them face to face- would it help if you did

Seriously no-one is thrilled by these annual meetings but there are reasons to attend

Also if you are caught out in the lies you are spinning you are toast

If stalking a pure stranger's financial and job arrangements is your idea of Friday night entertainment, I feel more utter sympathy for you. What a very lonely and sad life you must lead. Still, look forward in hope to returning to your office on Monday! 🥹 Meanwhile, I'll return to my packing for our flight to Sydney tomorrow!

all on £4k a month total family income and about to have a baby. You go girl!

@Othermentions Indeed we do! If we can afford it, why not!

Enjoy your lonely Friday night stalking, sister! Girl power to you! 😂

That trip to Sydney must be about 4 months of your total family income. Enjoy!

brave going long haul when you’re about to give birth though

@Othermentions you're cracking me up. Love it

it has really tickled me!

@Othermentions Your resentment and bitterness is hilarious 😂. Still no accounting for a lonely Friday night stalking of a stranger, absolutely pitiable!

Oh I don’t have any plans at all. And watched white lotus and now just enjoying this thread

Sydney tomorrow? About to give birth? Get packing! (Hopefully will make up for last years disastrous first holiday abroad)

in October you were expecting your second
but in June you were expecting your third

and now back to expecting your third (do you think you might give birth in Sydney given you’re about to give birth and flying tomorrow?£

curious!

This is the sort of boring shit I hate. If it is not compulsory - than it is not unreasonable not to go. If it is not going to be useful in your day to job than I wouldn't be interested. Almost all companies would drop staff at the drop of a hat if they wanted to and how many times you had networked/kissed ass at these things would count for nought.

Oh so that is why you are posting under multiple false accounts @Othermentions? Not to mention your apparent hatred of men posting in discussions on MN! You must be far lonelier than one could have previously envisaged.

Enjoy your Friday night stalking and harassing strangers online! You've given me much needed amusement before my early start tomorrow. I shall rest easily, knowing that I have helped give @Othermentions a less lonely evening 😊

Ok @ElsaLion I have had my fun

hope your flight to Sydney… tomorrow, goes smoothly. Brave woman doing that when you’re just about to give birth

@Othermentions If it means I can enjoy visiting relatives we haven't seen since before COVID, then yes I am completely up for it! Spa days and beaches await!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend stalking sis, it's great to see you employ some of that corporate girl power you evidently benefit from!

Talk about a thread hijack.

Don’t go then, but own it rather than lie. You’re probably not the only one who feels the way you do.

@ElsaLion it’s a pay cheque in the United Kingdom. I wouldn’t normally mention incorrect spelling but you were so keen to correct someone else’s typo earlier in the thread I realised that this sort of thing must be very important to you. You’re welcome, have a lovely holiday.

If it were me I would just go, in the very least to show I see myself as part of the team (the team being the company's employees). It might be a PITA and boring but it is only the equivalent length of a bank holiday weekend and they come and go quickly. Not going might jeapordise promotion prospects in the future if you are bothered about that sort of thing. I've been to conferences to present my work which are a week long and thousands of miles away, they were long, tiring at times and not always interesting but I did it because it was part of the job in academia.

But not everyone does. And it’s not like a conference where you do the day then go home at night.

Some people are introverts and that’s ok. I didn’t like them when I was young. Now I would just say no. It’s different team building with your team but small talk with a bunch of strangers. No thanks.

foreign travel is exhausting. Just did 4 days and my weekend was a washout recovering.

And let’s be clear there aren’t many opportunities for career progression for women so why should we put ourselves out?

My DPs company have an annual trip for the top performers, where they and their partners get a Caribbean trip with the CEO and other directors. I went and schmoozed the top bosses so as not to ruffle any feathers for DP.

There was one couple who kept away from everyone else, didn’t socialise, didn’t join anyone for dinner etc. a few weeks after the trip he was fired, partly because it was deemed he didn’t fit in because of their behaviour on the trip.

So these things CAN impact your career (or even just your job) and they do get noticed.

Honestly I never learn a thing from these boring events or days or even weekends and it's all bullshit. Let them be disappointed briefly, they'll forget about it anyway by the week after. Can't bear the mundane management jargon presentations.

Ask your DH how he'd feel if you stayed an extra night and had a bit of a holiday. My DH used to go to work meetings and do this and his company were fine with paying for his flights and he just financed the extra day. He once had a meeting in Florida so I flew out and we spent a week there afterwards so this can also be an option.

This is your job and you should put the effort in imo. It sounds like you don’t like travelling or the networking side and it sounds exhausting. But you can always make an excuse to get off early from the evening meals by perhaps saying you’d like to FaceTime the kids. But I would definitely go if the CEO is going to be there. Just make the effort it’s only a few days out of a whole year!! If you don’t want to then I’d be looking for another job as sounds like in your post you really can’t be arsed which isn’t really what employers want , try being a bit more passionate this job is paying your bills !

In an age of tech, these events seem a bit much.

I am very surprised how many people are begging to lick the boots of the employer. The same employer who would drop you tomorrow if they had to.

I don’t have any issue with OP using her kids as an “excuse”. It’s a valid one.

Some people really enjoy these in person events but not everyone does. It’s my idea of hell to have no down time after work and to be “on” for four days.