To think the Gabby Petito bodycam footage is beyond distressing

[Tricho]

Just watching this on netflix

The bodycam footage of her is one of the hardest things I've watched, an utterly terrified and distraught sweet, sweet girl

How her mother watched it I'll never know, I was sobbing.

The whole thing was just horrifying. I can NOT believe they thought that HE was the victim, sent him to a hotel and told her to pay for a shower and sleep in the van ALONE!

You only needed to hear the senior officer talk about his wife and her "anxiety" to realise he was a misogynistic idiot who thinks all women are "hysterical". Quite frankly her blood is on their hands....she was clearly very distressed and wanted to call her mum. They should have spoken to the mum and explained the situation and maybe things would have worked out differently....so so sad 😭

It's certainly a hard watch
A classic example of a cop using his own personal experiences and bias (note how he made it all about his wife and her anxiety) to override his basic duty.
Gabbi's abuser was then given carte blanche freedom to do whatever he wanted to her, using the polices inaction as further proof he was untouchable.

Yes she was clearly distressed, I binge watched it yesterday
It's such a sad story she did have opportunities to get away at some points.

I am going to watch it soon. I followed the whole thing in real time back when it happened. I was on holiday at the time and remember checking my phone multiple times a day for updates. The whole thing was unbelievable and incredibly sad.

I'm sure they said at some point that she was the aggressor, that shocked me as clearly the person who called the police said he had seen Brian slapping her. Not the other way around.
Yes he had some scratches on him so maybe she fought back or they both fought equally but she was tiny compared to him.
The fact that they sent her away and him to a hotel was shocking. He's a man he'd be safer alone in a van.
Also the officer who kept going on about anxiety was infuriating. Gabby was anxious in that moment because of what she was going through. They should have sought to help her not act like she needed to be in time out.

@Didimum I did too. As it all played out.

I remember when that cam footage came out. Was pretty awful

I also wondered why he got the hotel room and she got the van but as its been pointed out on another thread, giving her the van meant she had means of escaping if she so wished

Yes and the van was owned by her so there was a logic to her keeping the van and him going elsewhere. It would have seemed a bit off for the police to order her somewhere else, leaving her boyfriend to drive off in her vehicle.

I do agree that the police minimised the distress she was in and the fact that she had been assaulted by someone much stronger than her.

It was a missed opportunity for sure and very sad.

A bit more understand, support etc may have got her out of the situation.

Unfortunately, when people are in a DV situation, there ability to reach out for help and articulate what's really going on is diminished over time given how they are being abused. Often blame themselves too.

There are a lot of "if only"'s in this case. If only she drove home and left him, if she only called her parents, if she only was able to ask the police for her.

I always tell my nieces and nephews (teenagers mainly) that no matter where they are, no matter what situation they find themselves in, call me day or night and I'll get them out of it & they won'tget in trouble for doing so. I know that they often won't tell their parents the truth as easily and it just keeps them safe.

The hotel he was sent to was used to shelter DV victims.

We don’t see the full body cam footage in the doc- apparently they called the witnesses again (the ones that rang 911 when they saw him slapping her) to confirm the story, and they said in hindsight they couldn’t be sure if he was the perpetrator or just defending himself. We can’t know obviously but I can’t help but think that’s what the police wanted them to say so they could wrap things up without arrest paperwork.

Absolutely shocking that she was treated like that too and he was just laughing and joking with the officers.

It was indeed very distressing to watch. I‘m not sure how they could misinterpret that situation so badly. Especially as the person who called the police was very clear that HE was slapping HER. It is of course true that women can be aggressors but anyone with half a brain cell could see that she wasn’t the abuser in this situation. They also clearly used her “anxiety” as a means to diminishing her distress. Why on earth would they not let her cal her mum either? I have no doubt in that moment that her mum would have come and got her or at the very least encouraged her to leave and come home.

Apparently the police officer that was talking about his wife having anxiety etc. is also a domestic abuser, which explains why he was so willing to give Brian the benefit of the doubt.

It really is infuriating, the poor girl had red marks all over her face, which the officer pointed out but then acted like a scratch on Brian's face was the main issue.

I haven’t watched it yet. I don’t think I will, I saw it unravel on the news. Poor poor girl.
I’m guessing there wasn’t a female police officer present at all. The shit male she was with, the shit misogynistic male police officer that was supposed to help her. What a joke.

It’s time violence against women and girls (vawg) was prioritised above everything else, I’m not afraid to say it.

It is a scandal, and because it’s ‘only women’, it’s not being addressed.

People are spending more time and money on pronouns than they are on women and girls safety. Eg. All of those diversity and awareness courses - how about we address basic male violence and aggression against females on these courses, as the priority. 51% of the population and all that.

Should be shown to all the “women do it too” crowd. Authorities bending over backwards to be “fair” to men and this is the result.

God I hated that boyfriend and his stupid smug eminently slappable face. What an absolute loser he was. The only thing that poor girl did “wrong” was have an appalling taste in men.

They were awful. I wonder how those officers feel watching all this back now they know how it all panned out. Maybe they’ve not watched it. I hope they have.

I’m just finishing watching it now. I’m surprised by this thread as I didn’t think it was distressing at all, although I’ve seen it a numbers of times including back in 2021 when it happened.

its a story as old as time. It’s interesting to see her level of stress and panic trying to keep him placated, which is something i don’t think people usually view from this angle.

I also think we need to talk about how common it is for young immature people in particular to have a natural tendency to control relationships. I think a lot about how I would deal with my daughter being in a relationship like this

I couldn’t get over his parents who wouldnt even talk to the first police officer. Imagine if it was their child missing!

I don’t know but comparing it to decomposing bodies is a bit random

There's absolutely no need for this whataboutery.

Of course what is going on in Gaza is terrible and there have been countless personal tragedies. If you want to discuss them, then join one of the many Gaza threads or start your own.

This is a thread about a young woman who was murdered by her violent, controlling partner. Have some respect.

There was a female officer there!

Exactly! Completely agree!

Oh god was there? That is shocking 🥺

I’m guessing there wasn’t a female police officer present at all.

There was. I think she arrived a bit later and joined the discussion about what they should do.

I think with hindsight it's very obvious he was an abuser but I could see how the police may have thought it was her, especially when she confirmed it. I think the documentary was good at showing she wasn't a 'pushover' and did retaliate or get visibly annoyed with him quite a bit. The day (day before?) she was killed she told him not to pay for the food because it made her feel sick, whilst she went to the toilet leaving him to deal with it.

That was one of the most horrifying disgusting things I’ve seen in a while. It’s the relentless passive sexism like that that means we can never overcome it.