To be upset with my DH’s reaction to a parking problem?

[LovelyBranches]

We have a problem neighbour-the daughter of our next door neighbour.

In the past she has attacked me in the street when my DS was a baby. I’ve had death threats from her. She has broken into our garden and taken a Stanley knife to our garden furniture and broken all of our pots (my mother happened to be sitting outside the house so we know that the only way to access our garden was via the fence next door).

Over the years we’ve called the police but they’ve never done much because we didn’t have CCTV.

Fast forward to today, and my neighbours daughter is obsessed with parking. She has use of two cars and whenever she leaves in either one of them she will go through a detailed manoeuvre to deliberately leave one car permanently on the road outside my house even though they have two driveway spaces. We have one driveway and a garden the same size as a driveway but it doesn’t have a dropped kerb. This is where neighbours daughter likes to park.

However today, she hadn’t done this and I was able to park on the public road outside my own property. However I was in my house when I heard a loud squeaking noise and saw that she had come home and was using her car to ram my parked car a meter down the road. Annoyingly my CCTV has just stopped working and I don’t have evidence, and I’d like to move so I don’t want to tell the police as you have to declare neighbour problems when you move.

I phoned DH almost in tears, it had shocked me to see my car being bumped and I’d had visions of my car rolling down the street. It also feels like a violation that she’s using her car to ram my parked car down the road when it’s parked legally on a public road outside my own house.

DH came home and has blamed me for inflaming the problem by parking on the road directly outside our house. It’s this I feel most let down by. I didn’t do anything wrong, or try and instigate any problems. I simply parked outside our house but he believes that I should avoid doing this because of the previous problems we’ve had, and that we know how awful this woman is and we should be trying to keep out of her way.

I feel he is being unreasonable and could have been more comforting and understanding. Is DH unreasonable or was I?

I feel sorry for you but All these issues and you’ve never managed to catch them on camera? No phone, your cctv wasn’t working…. You know what she’s like and you’ve done nothing about it.
you and your DH sound like a pair of wet lettuces

This is a women who’s coming up to 40. She’s not a silly teenage girl who is making mistakes in life.

Wow, I had totally assumed she was a teen. I know it's bad but I'd be tempted to just wait until she went for me again and give her a few licks - I used to compete in Thai boxing and find that most bully types suddenly change tune when they realise they've not got the upper hand like they thought.

Bit puzzled OP. You say you've reported problems to the police in the past but now you don't want to because of having to report it to a potential buyer?

In any case I don't think you can not tell a potential buyer about the history with the neighbour- I think you have to report any problems whether or not the police are involved.

Do you not have a phone you could have filmed this on?

I would say in a situation like this with someone who has attacked you, destroyed your property, threatened to kill you and when you knew what she was like with parking, it may have been a little unwise to park there and not expect a reaction from someone that unhinged.

I certainly would not have expected nothing to happen if my neighbour was that psycho so from that angle I can see where your DH was coming from in thinking you may have inflamed the situation. And in fairness it did seem to inflame the situation.

Given her history and your knowledge of what she is like with parking, were you really expecting anything less? I mean of course we have a right to park outside our own houses, but we don't all live next to a woman who uses violence, destroys our property, threatens to kill us and openly obstructs anyone else from parking there.

In hindsight it was probably not worth poking the bear in this instance.

I do, but I heard the noise and went to the living room window. I heard my brakes squeeking rather than a bump noise. I saw what was happening and reached for my phone in my pocket but I had left it in another room. I called my mother but she was in the bathroom and by the time I went and found my phone on the kitchen table my car had moved and she was getting out of the car.

You knew exactly how this would end when you did this and then hand the batten over to DH to deal
there’s clearly no reasoning with this woman

The big incidences that I reported to the police (being attacked and my garden being broken into and destroyed) were nearly 5 years ago.

Since then there have had numerous incidences which we try and ignore.

I had absolutely no idea that she would push my car with her car. I didn’t even think that was possible. My handbrake was on! I was utterly shocked to go to the window and see my car being moved. This is directly outside my own house.

The space outside my house has not been free for at least 4 months because she has use of two cars and makes sure that there is permanently one of them outside my house at all times. I was pleasantly surprised to find the space free this morning and thought more about my own ability to take my mother to her appointment.

No, you had no idea she would push her car with yours but you did know she had been parking there for 4 months and you know she is erratic so what did you think would happen? I am sorry but you knew, if she had been parking there for that long, that by you parking there it would piss her off. I am not saying its right, obviously you should be able to park outside your own home but you did poke the bear. I still don't think your DH was in the wrong to be a bit annoyed with you for doing something you knew was going to provoke a reaction from her.

I know you should fight your corner etc. but tbh I'd bloody move.

I'd move and rent till the new housing estate is ready to purchase.

Call the police about damage to your car. Your dh is unreasonable. How horrid.

Do you think creating another parking space on your drive and paying for a drop curb is going to stop her? What are you going to do after you've paid for new space and curb and she still parks there blocking you in/out of your drive?

I think it might make her worse tbh.

Potential buyers will come to see the house and may park in her self designated space outside your house then what? Does she treat your visitors the same way she treats you?

Rent the house out for a year and live with your Mum whilst saving if that's an option.

You'll only get some peace if she moves or if she's arrested and jailed which probably isn't likely.

You need to make sure you put a sticker on your window warning you have cctv in operation as the trespasser etc can turn things around to their advantage by accusing you of unlawfully recording them.Madness I know but was told by cctv installer when my daughter had cameras fitted because of ex stalking her.

Get a car camera that films when you are parked and you car is moved. Next time she moves your car it will be on film. You could also get a movement car alarm.

Get dash cam for front and back of car.

it’s not your fault. Have you checked that their cars are taxed and MOT as you can check online and report them if they aren’t.

get your CCTV fixed now.
i would be reporting to police or moving asap. You can’t keep not reporting just because you might move in the future.

The police can easily tell if there is damage to your car and hers

Call the police. There'll be marks on her car and yours.

Is it better to worry about declaring problem neighbours a d having to ensure harassment for years -- or get the police more involved.

I'm thinking neighbour has serious mental issues - paranoid schizophrenia or BPD. I am absolutely no expert but I would lean towards the first due to her obsession with OP and that drugs have been mentioned. Long term use of cannabis, for instance, can cause paranoia. I would want to move too, just make sure she never knows where you move to.

Do one of your neighbours have a ring doorbell that could have picked up her shunting your car down the street?
Your best off not approaching he & if you can get evidence then definitely report to the Police. Is there any reason you can think of why she's targeting you?